not dirty please
2006-12-09 10:23:56 · 4 answers · asked by Tim Tebow is Awesome 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
define dirty...
Since so many people were going to heaven God told St. Peter he could only allow 1/3 of the people who died into heaven.
Three people appeared almost simultaniously, so St. Peter said great I'll just listen to all three of your stories, decide which is the most solemn and let that person go to heaven.
The first guy says, "I live on the 20th floor of an apartment building and I heard my wife was cheating on me so I came home early today. My wife was in the shower so I started looking everywhere for the man, but couldn't find him. I went out on the balcony to consider my life when I saw the son of a ***** hanging on to the edge so I jumped on his hand, but he didn't fall so I got a hammer and crushed them, but as he fell he landed in some bushes so I took my refridgerator and pushed it off the edge. I felt so bad afterwards a killed myself."
The second man said, "Well I had just settled down in my new apartment on the 27th floor when I stumbled and my new book went flying over the balcony and in a mad senseless rush I jumped for it and as I fell I grabbed on to the edge of a balcony, but then all of a sudden this man comes up to me and starts jumping on my hands and then he smashes them with a hammer. I thought I was dead , but I landed in some bushes, and just when my luck was turning I see this huge refridgerator falling on me and now I'm here."
The third man says, "OK, picture this, you're hiding, naked, in a refridgerator.
Hope you enjoy
2006-12-09 10:25:41 · answer #1 · answered by txsaxman91 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this blond went out and bought a new red sports car. when she gets on the highway she cuts a guy off that is in a truck. he decides to give her a piece of his mind so he makes her pull over. he gets out of his truck and draws a circle on the ground. he walks over to the blond's car and tells her to get out and stand in the circle. the man proceeds to get a bat out of his truck and smash all of her lights. when he turns around the blond has a smile on her face. you think that was funny watch this he says. he pulls out his knife and cuts all of her leather seats. when he turns around the blond is laughing. watch this he says again. he goes and gets some gas out of his truck, pours it on her car, and sets it on fire. when he turns around the blond is doubled over in laughter. what is wrong with you he asks .i destroyed your car in front of you and all you can do is laugh.why? the blond replies everytime you turned around i stepped out of the circle.
or
a police was on his shift and was driving along he saw a blond standing beside what he assumed was her totaled car. he stopped and asked her what happened and how she got out without even having a scratch. she said i was driving along and a tree popped out of nowhere so i swerved. this happened several times until i ran off the road. the police officer said mam there isn't a tree for 20 miles on this road. that was your air freshener hanging on your mirror.
2006-12-09 19:57:58 · answer #2 · answered by carrie b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheese?!
2006-12-09 18:28:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"The votes are all in and tallied... George W Bush is our next President!"
2006-12-09 18:26:30 · answer #4 · answered by Chris 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋