how do you get over loneliness i lost my wife last week from pancreatic cancer i am so lonely?

Question

I lost my wife of 13 years from Pancreatic Cancer. She had the cancer for 13 months and i have been with her 24 hours a day for the last six months giving her all the injections,feeding her,cooking,cleaning everything but now I feel so lonely.

Answer 1

First of all, my sympathy on you loss. You will be feeling lonely and what I called, empty, for awhile. You had been caretaker of your wife for over a year and now that is over. You were grieving for her even before her death, I know as I did when I was in your situation. You have to allow yourself, give yourself permission, to feel, even to be angry if you feel like it. The passing of time is great, it lessens the memories and allows us to see sunshine days again. You may want to consider a grief group, where you can share your feelings. Ask at your church or ask your doctor for a referral. Even if not right now, maybe in a few weeks. I hope that you find peace.

Answer 2

I am very sorry to hear about this. I have never experienced this but I can tell you that with time you will heal. The loneliness is expected, and the best you can do now is to find things to busy yourself and keep your mind occupied - an idle mind is the Devil's workshop, after all. Find a hobby or take up some activity you havent been able to do and it will definitely enrich your life. Another thing you might consider doing is volunteering, no matter how sad or depressed you feel, when you go and help someone else, your soul feels warm and your spirit will be lifted. You may also consider seeking the guidance of some religious figure (if you are religious) or even a counselor....it helps to just talk about it, and you should never have to hide how you feel. I hope that one day you get to feeling better and that your family and friends help you in this time of great need. God Bless.

Answer 3

I can see why you feel lonely, I went though cancer with my dad 9 years ago, luckilly for me he survived, I dont know what i would have done without him, I really dont but anyway I recomend that you seek some help from something like lifeline if you live in Australia, and also you need to keep busy, even though it may seem extreemly hard to do so right now keeping busy will stop you from feeling bad because you know you did all you could for your wife during her illness and in a way now and I aint saying this to be harsh but she is better passed on then causing you ALOT of pain while she was alive.

I hope you can find the help you need :)
talking about my dads cancer has made me sad now :(

cheers
Mitch

Answer 4

I am so sorry for your lose. Take comfort in the fact you were there for her till the end.I am losing my husband of 38yrs. to lung & brain cancer. Mentally he is already gone pretty much. We have had a long & good life together, & this is devasting for me too. You may need to find a support group to help you. Cancer care facility in your area will know how to get you in touch with them.
Sometimes talking to strangers is easier then family or friends. Rather like being able to have some anominity. These people understand because they have been through it yet you are strangers. Or at least the way I feel. I am rather shy about myself. I wish there was more I could say. But I'm not totally there yet. God Love you.

Answer 5

Cancer is a horrible thing to lose someone too.Sometimes, surronding yourself with things that remind you of her help, but mostly, surrounding yourself with your other family members will help. Also, don't be afraid to cry. Let it all out...the more you hold it in, the more it hurts. When I feel depressed, I find songs about people who suffered too, but talk about how it will be all right in the end. I listen to them and really try and remember, time will heal wounds. Don't pressure yourself by saying: 'I have to get over this now'; that will just make it even harder to get over and more painful. Remember only the good times you had, never the bad. Maybe, you should consider hiring a phycologist; there is nothing wrong with seeking help and doctors like that are good because they don't just comfort you, they offer solutions. However, nothing is better than the comforts of your family. A shoulder to cry on, comfort you and hold you. That is how I got over the pain.

Answer 6

I'm sorry Neil for your sad loss
time is the only thing that will really help
but they say if you help others you will feel a lot better because you are helping some poor soul
I would not help out in a hospital etc maybe a soup kitchen etc
ring up Salvation Army if you live in Aust & they may be able to help you in your saddness & also give you a chartity where you can help out if you want

Answer 7

It is a shock to the system, but try to do something different. If you are an intelligent person read "Rational Spirituality" available on the Dhaxem website. If you get it, it will give you all the answers that you are curently likely to have, and hopefully peace. Then you can start re-building your life. For every moment you are given, there is a purpose, and you ought to make the most of it. Best wishes.

Answer 8

I know you are lonely. And I don't think you will ever get over this loss. I am currently at home with my seven year old son, Jonah. He has wilms tumor.We were sent home on Monday to die. At first, I was just devestated. Now, I'mcrazy. I ordered $600 worth of natural treatments that he started today. I feel like no one cares. The doctors have given up on my boy. I know you've been where I am, waiting for them to live or to die. Is it sort of a relief when it's over? I want this to go away.

Answer 9

So sorry to hear about your loss. My husband passed away June 6th from lung cancer. He had no symptoms b4 he was diagnosed. He went thru radiation, chemo, gamma knife procedure and took a drug called tarceva. He was diagnosed March 20th. If you have children spend time with them. I am completely devastated. It is a struggle every day.Please stay strong as you know she would want you to. Good luck to you. You are not alone. I will be thinking of you.

Answer 10

hi, i sense for you, My mum died from Pancreatic maximum cancers, regrettably she had it quite a at the same time as apperantley. appears like your Grandma may have probability, clinical understanding is getting extra perfect each and each and every of the time. I hugged my mum on a daily basis and advised her I loved her, and nursed her on the end . yet maximum significant i ought to continually make her snicker, and thats the answer quite, save smiling how ever you sense, and in my mums very last words " sense free". My thoughts are with you.