been seeing this dude for months and all we've been doing is having sex... he hasn't even taken me out! everytime i go to his house he only prepares food for himself and can't even offer me a drink!! i'm a very shy person, so i sent him an email telling him i needed more than just good sex and he responded by kissing me... he said he'd reply to my email and to this day he still hasn't.. though i see him everyday as he works with me. despite my plea he's still making sexual advances and doesn't seem to know how this is hurting my self esteem... good thing i'm strong, though! i'm too polite to tell him to **** off, so how should i put it to him without sounding stupid? i have a lot of admirers who want my affection and do respect me and want to cut this guy off completely, how do i tell him to stop bull shitting me once and for all? serious answers only please
2006-12-09 09:21:33 · 41 answers · asked by get outta here howdy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
"Sorry I can't talk to right now; I've got a lot of work to do--if you have something to say, send me an email....and, oh, by the way, what part of "NO!", do you not understand?"
A guy that doesn't respect your boundaries, should be dropped like a hot potato! If he tries to make physical advances, say in a loud voice "Get your hands off me right NOW!" It may take some nerve, but you'll feel so much more in control!
2006-12-09 09:31:07 · answer #1 · answered by Joya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you are being taken advantage of big time! It's not politeness thats holding you back from telling this jerk off. Its either the good sex or you don't mind being used.
Call him on the phone and tell him you don't want to see him anymore. That you are tired of being taken advantage of and you deserve better than to be somebodys whore. You're worth more than that! He'll try to convince you he'll change, but be strong. Don't believe anything he says because he won't change. Exactly how you see him is exactly how he is. Loose his number, and DON'T go to his house. Unfortunately, you work together so he might try spreading rumors about you. (Always a bad deal to sleep w/people you work with). Be prepared for that. But dump him like the piece of **** he is. Delete him out of your life. That means he is no longer on your email or your phonebook. Hopefully you have a good friend at work who can watch your back. He could make trouble. Good Luck.
2006-12-09 09:31:50 · answer #2 · answered by FunnieBunnie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are nothing more than a booty call. Happens to us all until we get tired of being used. I was in aVery similar relationship except we gradually stopped going out and when I realized what was happening & talked to him he told me he didn't want things to change. I told him I couldn't see him under those circumstances. It was hard not calling and just keeping it 'hi' and bye' at work. Eventually he asked me out and we started dating. However we both know you really want a relationship with this guy and it seems he is keeping you a secret, could care less about you besides when it's fun time. You have to commpletely pull back, tell what you want, and not call or engage in a conversation until he respects you enough to want to make you happy. He's not playing you out, you're playing yourself as long as you keep accepting him using you like some inflatable doll that he hides in the closet when company is over
2006-12-09 09:37:43 · answer #3 · answered by Meems 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grab a piece of paper, cut a square off of it, about 1 squared inch, then hold it with your knees and keep it there. Sorry, I just had to.
But seriously, you know he's just bullying you into getting some sex, right? If you know now how selfish he is, won't be straightforward except for when he wants to get laid, why do you even bother looking in the same direction this guy is? Have a little more respect for yourself and if you just can't get rid of him in a nice way, talk to your HR department and have them can him. If he doesn't feel any remorse for hurting you, why should you have to put up with him?
2006-12-09 09:31:49 · answer #4 · answered by guicho79 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't reply to anything he says or does, just say "yeah, okay, I'll call ya" and never do it. It'll drive him crazy for a little while but just ingore his advances. If he says anything rude, just tell him that you're done with being used and he can find someone else since you're "so dispossable" and another thing
why do you like this guy so much in the first place? is the sex really that good? he's a good "partner" but not a good life partner obviously so quit wasting your time on him, you've got better (and maybe bigger! lol) things to do
2006-12-09 09:45:52 · answer #5 · answered by Royal R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, i am dead serious, stop being so polite and tell him to **** off. Make it clear to him that you are not taking off your clothes one more time to sleep with him. Period. No if he only, nope if he would he would have already. He is only using you for sex and you are letting him get off real cheap for the privilage too. Tell him that if he makes one more pass at you you are going to sue him and the company you work for for sexual harassment. Do not email him except to tell his *** off some more. Do not see him or answer his phone calls should he make any. Above all DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM AGAIN. You don't have to worry about ending a relationship, you do not have one you are simple convienient and he does not have to work for it so he doesn't. He does not care about you so leave him alone and take a look at someone who might really appreciate you and treat you the way you want to be treated.
Here's a secret people treat you the way you let them treat you. Do not accept anything except what it is that you want, and you will get treated the way that you want. Remember it ain't so bad to be alone and its far better to be alone than to be used.
2006-12-09 09:29:45 · answer #6 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
wow, i was in a very similar situation not too long ago. Umm... i'm going to assume there is no real monogamy between you guys so why not start dating other people. if someone asks you on a date and you're interested, then say yes and see what happens. maybe you could try stop answering that guy's phone call since he only calls for that one thing. try to move on, i guess... good luck!
2006-12-09 09:27:33 · answer #7 · answered by bunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you let him take advantage of you in this way. If you aren't ready to say I don't want to see you anymore then just email him. Tell him that you need more than just casual sex and that all good things must come to an end and you are ending.
2006-12-09 09:26:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you had fun but you're not interested in what he has to offer anymore. He obviously doesn't have any respect for your feelings so why should you be worried about being polite to him? It's not that he doesn't realize he's hurting you, he just doesn't care!!! Just tell him goodbye and stop answering his calls, ignore him, don't give him anymore of your time!!
2006-12-09 09:26:41 · answer #9 · answered by maggielynn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First rule of thumb is, you don't **** where you eat. Meaning: you don't get involved with people you work with. Now that you want it to end, state so, point black. It's over. He already knows that you want and need something more and he's made it clear that he isn't willing to give it to you. So, when are you going to wake up and walk away?
2006-12-09 09:32:10 · answer #10 · answered by adagia27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋