Christian People,and going to church....?

Question

My husband and I became born again Christians about 5 years ago, basically through these people we met. So we became friends with them, and all of the sudden they tell us they can't be friends with us because we were not as "into God" as they were, and our "sins" were worse than theirs?? Whats up with that?? So we buy a house, and I meet another group of "Christian Women" through a bible study group. I start going, and they all start talking their fancy christian lingo, and I do not understand what they are trying to say, So I tell them, "I am a new Christian, please explain what you mean in a way I can understand" basically they told me I need to learn the hard way just like they did. They did not invite me to the next seasons bible study. We also have tried going to 5 or so different churches, and when we went, we felt so uncomfortable like everyone was always judging us, so we just quit going to church, too many bad feelings there. It feels like I am being suffocated when I go.

I mean I could understand it it was one person doing this, but it is everywhere we go, and I know its not us because we are probably the nicest people you could ever meet. So basically, the people in the Christian religion, have pushed us away. They live in these big fancy houses, with 50,000 dollar pools and say they do because they do what god wants and that is how he repays them. What is that supposed to mean?? And when I pray, I don't use any fancy worlds, I talk to God as if I he were a friend. Has anyone else ever experienced this?? Christianity to me seems like a big "click" and if you aren't rich, or drive a fancy car, or wear the right kind of clothes you just don't fit in.

to Kaye especially, I have not fabriacated one thing in this post believe it or not, So do not assume that expecially. Maybe it is just to hard for some of you "christians" to believe that christian people are actually doing this to someone. It just tears me up even more that people would think I have made any of this up, but it does prove my point. I have been deeply hurt by all this, and I am just trying to find the right path, I am a 33 year old mother of 4 beautiful children daugher 14yrs, son 11yrs, daughter 4yrs, and daughter 1 1/2year, and the most wonderful husband ever.

Answer 1

I have been through some of the same things. Hang in there. There is better out there. Alot of people are into "church" and not so much into God. There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. Stay in the word

Answer 2

Your experience is a shame, but sadly it is common these days. Our churches have gone to hell quite frankly. They are all about self-righteousness, and about having all the members being the same way. It's very un-christian. After all, isn't it the sick who need the doctor? But most churches only want the healthy. Now, that's not to say that there aren't good churches out there, but they are difficult to locate. I'm still looking myself. All i can tell you is stay away from the Nazarenes. They are about as self-righteous as it gets.
But keep looking. Pray for God to guide you to a church where you can thrive and grow. And if someone tells you that you have to learn the lingo b4 you can be one of them, and then tell you you have to learn it on your own, leave. They have no interest in helping you. Lingo isn't a bad thing, but christianity should be presented in a way so that all ppl can understand it. Of course the more complex you get, lingo becomes helpful, but for the basics, and for bible studies, they shouldn't use it or they should explain it to you.
Here's an intereseting thought tho. Maybe they couldn't explain it to you becuase they didn't know it themselves :). LOL. It's a common problem actually. Sad isn't it.
Well i hope this has helped. God Bless!

Answer 3

Oh I am so sorry to hear that!! I will totally hang out with you!! If you lived here that is...I would never shun you- I just cant believe other so called christians do this! Do they not see the log in their own eye? Just as Jesus tells us, not to point out others sins, because we too sin! And as far as those people go, it is good you are not hanging out with them- I would be leary of exactly what they believe. What church is this you went to? Please e mail me, I really want to know. And those women at bible study should of been so much more inviting and friendly. At the bible study I go to, the lady who leads it calls every single other lady once a week to see how we are doing and ask if we need prayer...and I find that to be sooo good, holding us accountable and being a good friend. You should really pray about this and ask the Lord to lead you to a good bible teaching church with FRIENDLY and inviting people....who have compassion. Because fellowship with other believers is very important....I prayed for this a long time and I finally found a church that has awesome people in it, and I have made great friends there- and this only happened after really giving it to God and praying for His hand to lead me in the right direction.

There are real christians out there who are not caught up in wealth and works- Please know that! Our riches are in Christ Jesus!!

Answer 4

I must admit I've stopped going too. Though I am serious Christian and consider myself a committed one too. The problems with churches and the people in them are many, too many to go into in detail or to even try to cover them all.
Let me say this, the human personality and ego has a difficult time with Christianity, and many people not only stay relatively immature but lapse in legalism of many different styles. Legalism leads to judging and self-righteousness, which is hard to maintain since our conscience fights against our efforts to maintain a good opinion of ourselves (pride). Believers want to belong, and this often leads to the worst kind of insider games and the development of cliques: "Our group or church or movement is the one that's right with God and doing His will, and others are out of it."

What to do? Develop a relationship between God and you, chiefly through prayer. Learn your Bible--it's your only defense against a lot of hairbrained versions of Christianity.

On churches, my advice is be careful joining one. On the other hand, you might check this out: http://www.ptmin.org/ and see if you can find a home church in your area.

Warning, every church has its jerks. Some, way too many!

Answer 5

I think you need a better group pf friends.

Don't quit going because some make you uncomfortable.

When you have exhausted the possibilities in your town; then stay home and your family pray for guidance.

Jesus did say "Where two or more are gathered in my name; there I am in the midst.

I avoided church for several years when I lived in Tennessee (that is part of the bible belt). I moved to Washington; Got to know several of the people at church and bacame friends, and a short two years later; I am an ordained Rev.

Answer 6

I can totally relate. However, being a christian is not just about going to church it is the way you live your life as long as you and your husband pray together and aim to look to God as your guidance of course having trust and faith that he will show you the way you are blessed. Unfortunately I had the same experience after socializing with Christian ladies at a Church of Christ I thought I had made friends for a lifetime. However, due to my husbands job I had to move so I attended a different church and instead of hearing a positive answer when I sent them christmas cards and left messages its like I never existed.

Unfortunately that wasnt for us. Dont forget in life we will meet people that God will use for a purpose and they may just not be part of our lives long after that but the experience is what matters and thank God for it and for what you learned from it. Maybe God had a plan to meet your husband through certain people but wants you to serve him somewhere else. Just pray and have faith in your prayer. Congregating is a wonderful thing however not all churches have people that with the same goal in mind to learn the word and take God into your life. However, just remember its not about what church you go to but how if someone that never new God met you you didnt have to preach to them just your actions will show them that you are a person of principles and your spirit is so happy and considerate that they want to know what God you serve.

Finding a church that I was looking for didnt come easy I had prayed for it for months until something I saw on tv made me visit a church and ever since I have been happy. Please dont be discouraged about looking into a place of companionship with others that have the same love of the lord because God sees the heart of those that discouraged you and yes sometimes I thought that people stared at me so hard like I had two heads or something instead of just saying hello. But that wasnt the church for me so I just prayed about it and all at due time. God answeres.

Answer 7

keep looking and the one that is right for you will be in your path. you may not be interested but the catholic church is very accepting and in the study groups everyone is treated equally and if you need more help understanding things the leaders are generally very good and will work with you and not look down on you. don't let the sessions you have attended affect you, those woman and people are christian only by name,they have shown by their actions they aren't as holy as they think they are or want to be. just keep your head up and stick with it, good luck and god bless. you may like to look at scripturecatholic.com or ewtn.com to sort of rummage through some information on the catholic church,you could also ask a catholic friend or contact yuor parish priest to find out about study groups etc.....

don't let this experience control your take on christianity. you just met the wrong people, maybe the denomination isn't for you. continue to pray to god like a friend and ask him to guide you to a good church where the fellowship is one of christianity by name and by words and by actions.

Answer 8

It's sad that people can be like that. To be honest, I think you've just had really bad luck with the people you've ended up meeting. I started attending a church (Local Seventh Day Adventists) last spring and everyone I've met there has been nothing but accepting and loving. It's a wonderful experience. I wish people wouldn't ruin that experience like they did to you.

Keep trying to find new people, is my suggestion. And pray that the ones youm eet will be nicer.

Blessings and good luck

Answer 9

I think the best information we have regarding how we should expect person's within our religious congregation to act is the example Jesus set. He associated with those people who were willing to listen to him who were willing to change. As long as you are actively seeking to improve yourself in the way that God expects a church should not purposely exclude you for who you were. I encourage you to find a church that has this as a goal. With this in mind do not let the ignorant prideful behavior of others dissuade you from going to church unless the church happens to teach that behavior. Keeping looking.Tthere is inherently a complete truth that applies to everyone and look for the church that has the most of the truth that has been revealed by God.

The search is well worth it.

Answer 10

You have discovered what many of the people on this forum dislike about "Christians". To be a christian means to be Christ like. It does not sound like they are being Christ like. What you need to do is look closely at yourselves and what you want in life. If you want to be a "born again" and live the life of the "Christains" that you have found - go for it. But if you want to be a more loving and mature person - then try to be "unborn again" and look for or gather around you people that care for one another. You may find them in a christian church some place, but as you have discovered they are pretentious and opinionated and probably not a good person to have as a friend. Do not accept the bible as the be all and end all, it really is nothing more than 4000 years of interesting stories, some told around a campfire for 500 years before they were written down. Look for good people or better - people like yourselves. But you won't find them as "born again" types. Good luck.