I broke up with my boyfriend because I found out that he was addicted to crystal meth. Then I found out that I was pregnant. I never told him because I don't want a father like that in my baby's life. Did I do the right thing or does he have a right to know?
2006-12-09 09:16:43 · 12 answers · asked by Sasha 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
He has a right to know, and maybe finding out that he is a father will be the push that he needs to get clean. You can still take him to court and gt child support ordered. If he is able to hold a job the courts may garnish his wages. Are his parents around? If so I'm sure that they would like to know that they are grandparents.
2006-12-09 09:19:49 · answer #1 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he has the right to know, but the part were you broke uo with him is right, just say, look I'm pregnant, but I don't think your ready to be a father right know, maybe go for some drug treatments, and we'll see what happens. Stand your ground don't let him talk you into something you know is wrong, You sound as if your a smart lady, Crystal Meth is a hard drug to get off of, don't let this man bring you and your child down, Good Luck to you and your baby. I will be praying for you.
2006-12-09 21:43:03 · answer #2 · answered by This is just my opinion! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a really hard one to answer. but i guess that i would tell him, but let him know that he will have nothing to do with the baby unless he gets some help. CM is some serious stuff and he will need help getting off of it. so don't believe him if he says that he has quit if he hasn't gone to a clinic or something because he is lying. the problem with addictions is that once a person is addicted to something they are always addicted. the cravings never go away. they might be clean, but they will always have an urge to do it.
if he is really bad and might even pose a threat then you should file for full custody. just tell the judge that he is a drug addict and he will have to have a drug test, which he will fail.
you really can't take any chances with this. he does have a right to know though because there is a slim chance that him knowing he will be a father might straighten him up. you at least have to give him one chance. what he does with this information is up to him. just don't be surprised if he doesn't quit the drugs.
i will pray for you and your baby and May God's favor be with you and your baby.
2006-12-09 17:31:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has the right to know and the baby has the right to get child support even if the person sending it is addicted to crystal meth.
2006-12-10 02:58:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont blame you for not telling him. If i were in your situation I would let him know that you are pregnant but want absolutely nothing to do with him until he gets off of meth and passes random drug tests. you are very smart to stay away from this guy..do not let him into your life while hes using, you have a little baby to protect and these people can be crazy.To do the tests it can be expensive but that responsibility lies in your boyfriends hands.
2006-12-09 21:05:00 · answer #5 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in a similar situation. I have two children by a guy who is constantly in trouble, has been off and on drugs, and can't hold a job. When I had my second child, I decided to put someone elses name on the birth certificate. I now feel I made a mistake in doing this and I am going to the process of having her name changed. It's like this, one day, he will wake up and realize what he is missing out on and be a part of the child's life. If not, sorry for him. If you don't let him in on the pregnancy, after your child is older and starts asking questions, you are going to be in over your head trying to answer them. If you don't tell him, you will have two choices. Let your child know that they have a father and that he has made some bad choices and you have made the decision to give the child a healthy life by not allowing them to have a negative influence on them, or you will be lieing to your child about where they came from and who they are.
-Justynn
2006-12-09 17:29:06 · answer #6 · answered by justy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a right to know. Maybe this is what he needs in his life to finally get his act together. At the very least, give him a chance to be a good dad- That doesn't mean just handing your child over to him- Allow him to stop by and see the child in your home- if he wants outside of your home visits, make him go to court and request them. Go see a lawyer IMMEDIATELY to establish that you have custody and when he gets visitation, request drug testing and supervised visits until he completes a parenting course. You can do this- I had to do it with my oldest daughter. If he really does want to be there for the child, he'll do what he has to do and come out a better man in the end and your child will benefit greatly from a father in their life. If he doesn't want to see the baby, he won't do what he has to do to get those rights and you will know you did what was necessary to protect your child. Best of Luck!
2006-12-09 17:34:18 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer F 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I say as a mom you need to protect that baby. I would have told him you were pregnant and that he could have something to do with the baby once he is clean. Good luck
2006-12-09 17:20:45 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs. Always Right 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he should know, and No he should not be involved until he has complete sobriety which is very hard to obtain with methaphetamines. I wish you all the luck in the world. File for child support.
2006-12-09 17:24:11 · answer #9 · answered by MaRuCa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing all the way around ...Your baby doesnt' need that and neither do you! Stay strong and good luck!
2006-12-09 17:21:45 · answer #10 · answered by HARWOODH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋