funny joke?

Question

when is the worse time to have a heart attack?

=when your playing charads

Answer 1

A man says to his wife:-
"Get ready,you,me and the Dog are going fishing".
Wife replies:-
"I don't want to go fishing".
"OK",says the man,and gives her 3 choices:-
1/Fishing
2/B***job
3/Take it up the a**e
Wife thinks a while,and chooses a B***job.
After sucking for a while,she says:-
"This tastes like S**t.!".
Man replies:-
"I know,the Dog didn't want to go Fishing either.!!!!"




The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre the bullet was that killed the animal. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on.

They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced "Bear." Then he felt the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a .308 rifle." He was right.

They brought him another skin, one that someone had in their car trunk. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Elk, shot with a 7mm Mag rifle." He was right again.

Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time against a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home drunk out of his mind and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner.

He said to his wife, "I know I was drunk last night, but I think I'd remember a brawl. Where did I get this black eye?"
His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into bed and put your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and loudly announced, "Skunk, killed with an axe".




George Bush dies from a heart attack and he goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him.
"I'm not sure what to do," says the devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. As you definitely have to stay here, I'm going to have to let someone else go. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves."
George thinks this sounds pretty good, so he agrees.
The devil opens the first room.
In it are Richard Nixon and a large pool of hot water. He keeps diving in and climbing out, over and over. Such is his fate in hell.
"No!" George says. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could stay in hot water all day."
The devil leads him to the next room.
In it is Tony Blair with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he does is swing the hammer, time after time.
"No!" I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do is break rocks all day," says George.
The devil opens a third door.
In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him is Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
George Bush looks at this in disbelief for a while and finally says, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiles and says, "Ok, Monica, you're free to go!"




A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
"You know what?", says the 7 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing."
The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
"When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first, then you swear
after me, ok?"
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm. The mother walks into the
kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.
"Oh, s.h.i.t mum, I guess I'll have some Coco Pops".
WHACK!! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor,
gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out. She looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice,
"And what do you want for breakfast, young man?!"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your f***ing life it won't be Coco Pops"

Answer 2

Why is it a undesirable theory to play UNO with mexicans? because of the fact they'll consistently scouse borrow your green-taking part in cards. A Mexican and a Blackman are in a vehicle. who's driving? A cop what's the version between a blackman and a bench? A bench can help a family contributors of four Why dosn't Mexico have an Olympic team? because of the fact each physique that could run, bounce and swim is already here.

Answer 3

I was thinking more Elvis style... on the shitter.

But that's funny too.

LoL

Answer 4

v good and a great way to get some people points
keep goin ure great

Answer 5

good 1 lol 10/10

Answer 6

That is pretty funny it made my day a bit better LOL!!!

Answer 7

HEY BEN YOU GET THE 10 POINTS LOVED IT

Answer 8

omfg hahaha dude thats great

Answer 9

funny! thats a good one!

Answer 10

I thought it was funny!