My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. All in all, he is a great guy. But there are just so many things that bug me about him. He never makes the time to see him, but he can do all sorts of things w/his friends. ..And when I get upset about this, he gets mad at me and calls me selfish. It has been 6 weeks since I have spent a day with him. I'm beginning to question the relationship a lot. If he never has time for me, would rather be with his friends, and yells at me constantly..what's the point really? Yes, there are good things about our relationship. He can make me smile when I'm upset, has this certain way of holding me that makes everything okay, and I trust him more than anyone in the world. But the only time I talk to him is on the phone or the computer, and when he has the time. I'm just getting really frustrated with the whole relationship..
2006-12-09 09:04:01 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to tell him this. I know you've already tried but this time, don't wait until you are upset. Arrange to talk to him and say calmly and firmly what your opinion is. Listen to his answers, see if there's a reason why he's not seeing you. If things don't improve, he's not worth it and its time for you to break it up. You deserve better than a guy who can't even take half a day off his schedual to go out on a date with you, regardless of the way he makes you feel.
2006-12-09 09:09:12 · answer #1 · answered by caz15th 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That does sound like a terrible relationship. In fact, the word 'relationship' in stretching it a bit.
1 day in 6 weeks- face it, you're not even a part-time girlfriend. You're a 'oh I'm bored, lets fill some time' girl.
I'm sure he's busy, but only bothering to talk to you over the phone/net is plain pathetic.
Dump him ASAP. I wouldn't trust him. I'm actually horrified on your behalf. If my partner pulled this on me, I would have gone ballistic!
In a relationship, you're not just a lover- you're also supposed to be his friend. If he can make time with other friends- then why not you? The things you have said are the good things in your relationship- I'm sorry- you can get them anywhere and don't have to be seeing someone to experience them.
He clearly prefers everyone else's company to your own. He doesn't consider you a decent use of his time. The only decent excuse I think he could possibly have is if he works long hours or is under some other stressful lifestyle.
Run, run, run and don't look back ever.
2006-12-09 17:15:42 · answer #2 · answered by midsojo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is definately not a relationship! You are worth far more than this. It sounds to me that he only see's you when he feels like it, and yelling should never be a part of any relationship! I suggest you slow things down, and become a little more unavailable! If this doesn't bring him to his senses, the it's his loss. You will find someone who wants to be with you more than his mates, and this will then be a relationship! Rather be on your own for awhile .. allow Mr Right to find you! This man is definately not the one!
2006-12-09 17:11:32 · answer #3 · answered by lynne 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're putting to much thought into this. Based on what you're saying it doesn't sound like you're his everything. He has someone else based on him not having time. Let me break it down -- the holding means he's a charmer the calling you selfish is reverse psychology to cover up what the bigger picture is. If he loves you or even remotely wanted to be with you he would make time and be available. Get someone who can fill you up emotionally, Life is too short to waste your time spinning around in circles!!!
2006-12-09 17:19:10 · answer #4 · answered by CeCe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have not spent a day with him in six weeks? You do realise that the length of time six weeks is, is one-eighth of the length of time you've been seeing him in total?
Lets just say that is one hell of a long time. Are you sure that he knows that the relationship is still continuing?
DUMP HIM AND GET SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO SPEND some TIME WITH YOU!!!
Life is too short! You could get run over by a bus tomorrow or catch a horrible disease. DUMP HIM. He's wasting your time.
Good luck!
2006-12-09 17:16:35 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been with my boyfriend for a year and 8 months, and I get frustrated at times when I am with him, and when Im not, I think about him non stop. You should give him a chance and try explaining to him that your friends will be there now, but you are going to be there forever if he doesnt start acting up. Ask him if his friends are mor eimportant than you, or try ignoring him, and maybe he will crawl to you sooner or later. Show him you want to be with him, and you care about him, and that you need attention too. =)
2006-12-09 17:10:23 · answer #6 · answered by ThexSilentxOnex 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break it off with him.
If he is such a good guy, then how could he yell at a girl that he loves? and if he TRULY loves you, why wouldn't he drop a "guys night" to come and hang out with you?
it sounds to me like he is very immature and needs some time to grow up. Maybe he needs some time without you to realize that he truly does love you. What you should do is break up with him, and tell him it is because you feel like he would rather hang out with his friends and spend time with other ppl, than you. Leave it at that, and go have some fun with your friends.
Trust me, he will realize his loss and come back. It is up to you whether you want him back or not though.
2006-12-09 17:09:20 · answer #7 · answered by GirlInMassachusettTOWN 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your boyfriend cant listen to your concerns without name calling and getting angry then it's time to let him go and move on.
You need to go out and do you own thing. Hang out with your own friends, go and do your hobbies. The dude is not really interested in a relationship or else he would want to spend time with you.
He sounds like he's being a bit of a butthead.
2006-12-09 17:10:48 · answer #8 · answered by vinyl_mad 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is this enough? a loving relationship is meant for spending time with each other and wanting to be with each other. If he's not wanting to be you then maybe you need to find someone that does. At the end of the day this is what you want and you will benefit from finding someone that wants it as much as you do.
2006-12-09 17:09:04 · answer #9 · answered by Sarah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and explain how you feel. Don't make an ultimatum like its them or me, but he needs to send more time with you.
If he is not prepared to compromise or listen, the tell him in a confident clear manner what he has done and the consequence is that you are leaving him.
2006-12-09 17:17:14 · answer #10 · answered by Finlay S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋