First, I'm sorry. I have a friend who is going through the very same thing that you are, and I know how difficult it has been for her. Understand, though, that there is nothing that you can do at this point but pray. Pray for peace, for understanding, and for healing if you have enough faith.
I know that you're devastated, but take a look at your brother. Do you think that he's really happy right now? Cancer is very painful, especially when it is terminal.
Try to spend as much time with him as possible, and don't leave anything left unsaid. Make sure he knows that you love him, and do your best to make him stay in a happy mood.
Once again, I'm sorry for what you're going through. I could only imagine how difficult it is.
2006-12-09 08:50:10
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answer #1
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answered by <3 The Pest <3 6
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I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through such a rough time, no-one ever really gets over something like this you just get on with things until it doesn't hurt as much. My grandpa died of cancer 13 years ago i still find it hard to believe he's not round.
I think it is because he had to suffer when he was the nicest person i know, it just seemed so unfair. You've just got to be there for him when he needs you. Know that you have your other family members to talk to, you don't have to go through this alone, so don't, let someone know how you are feeling.
Make the last few months very special for everyone, make some brilliant memories and God bless x
2006-12-09 09:06:06
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answer #2
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answered by Lou 4
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I'm really sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time, sometimes talking and just having a listening ear will help enormously. If you go to BACUP http://www.cancerbackup.org.uk/Home you will be able to get the help line phone number (free phone) you will have access to specialist councellors with regard to cancer including helping young people through their difficult time. Dont worry if all you can do is cry, be silent, be angry or just wonder why this is all happening and why it maybe all unfair, the councellor will listen in a supportive way without judging you and may also be able to give you some tips on how to cope with such an enormous and sad event in your life. Thinking of you
Steve
2006-12-10 01:38:09
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answer #3
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answered by English Knight 2
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Oh hunny, I am so sorry for you. I know from previous experience how hard it can be. The only advice I can give you is be with him as much as possible and support him as much as you can. It's not going to be easy.
What support are you getting? If you are not getting any support for all that is happening to your brother, I suggest you call a friend and have a cry. Crying is the best source of healing. I know from experience how I felt when my aunt died of lung cancer. I was at an all time low and I felt like ending it.
I suggest you also speak to a counsellor. Explain how you are feeling to him and ask if there is anything you can take to make you feel better.
I know how hard it can be especially at this time of the year. If it's to be his last Christmas, make it as happy and joyious as you can. Play his favourite music, have food and make him smile. And, I think it'll do you good as well.
If you need someone to talk to, e-mail me at gemstones123@hotmail.co.uk.
You are not alone! God bless sweetheart.
2006-12-13 08:04:33
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answer #4
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answered by Lollypop 1
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Im so sorry,both for you and your brother.
It's heartbreaking watching someone you love,just fade away. I know I lost my mum when I was 29 to cancer.
I have also had breast cancer myself, and know the terrible fears that go through you.
Hopefully,I haven't got it anymore,and won't get it back,there's never l00% guarantee of this though.So every day is prescious, or should be.
Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do to help your brother,but I do hope you might find some comfort in knowing that there are people out her that understand your sorrow and care.
God bless you and your brother,where he goes,there is no pain.
2006-12-12 19:28:18
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answer #5
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answered by animalwatch 3
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FIRSTLY, MAY I BEGIN BY SAYING HOW SORRY I AM ABOUT YOUR BROTHER'S DIAGNOSIS.
CANCER IS NEVER AN EASY THING TO DEAL WITH, WHETHER YOU'RE THE PATIENT, A RELATIVE...ITS EVEN HARD FOR THE DOCTOR.
YOU'RE PROBABLY IN A STATE OF MENTAL TURMOIL, BUT THIS WILL BE BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN FORCED TO THINK ABOUT SO MANY THINGS AT ONCE BY THE DIAGNOSIS AND SO IN THE FIRST INSTANCE, I WOULD SUGGEST SPEAKING TO YOUR GP AS REGARDS COUNCELLING, TO HELP YOU PLACE THE MUDDLE OF INFORMATION YOU'RE TRYING TO DEAL WITH ON THE TABLE SO YOU CAN WORK THROUGH THINGS ONE AT A TIME.
SECONDLY, NO MATTER HOW MUCH DOCTORS TRY TO GIVE A FIGURE ON HOW LONG A PERSON HAS, UNLESS ITS IN THE DYING PHASE, WE CAN VERY INACCURATE. THEREFORE, THE FIGURE OF TWO MONTHS GIVEN BY THE DOCTOR MAY BE WRONG. PREPARE FOR THE WORST, HOPE FOR THE BEST, BUT AT ALL TIMES, VALUE EVERY SECOND YOU HAVE LEFT WITH HIM. DO THE THINGS THAT ARE WORTH WHILE FOR YOU ALL AND MAKE HIM UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH YOU ALL LOVE HIM (BUT DON'T OVERDO IT FOR YOUR OWN SAKE).
YOU CAN'T CHANGE THE OUTCOME OF THE SITUATION - HE WILL DIE AT SOME POINT. WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL THOUGH, IS THE JOURNEY YOU ALL TAKE IN THE COMING MONTHS SO THAT HE CAN DIE KNOWING YOU ALL DID WHAT YOU COULD, TRYING TO MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE AND HAPPY.
I WISH YOU ALL THE VERY BEST, AND YOU HAVE MY HEARTFELT CONDOLENCES.
2006-12-09 08:53:25
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answer #6
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answered by DR ROB 2
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So very sorry about your brother. My husband passed away from lung cancer in June. He went thru all the treatments, radiation, chemo, gamma knife procedure, and took a drug called tarceva. He was diagnosed March 20th. He had no symptoms. It is the worst thing I have ever been thru in my life. I have to stay strong for the kids but that is the only reason I am still here. You are NEVER prepared for your loved one to go NEVER No matter how many times the doctor told us how long I did not believe them. He fought so hard. Try to stay strong and hang in there for your family It is very tough but I will be thinking you good thoughts.
2006-12-09 10:15:01
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answer #7
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answered by crumcake422 2
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First of all I will pray to God to give you a lot of strength to cope with this situation. I think the best thing would be to accept the facts and try your best to make best of whatever is left for your brother. I know it is easy to say but hard to do, but I think it is the only way. I am sure your brother did some really good deeds in his last life and this time he was sent to this earth only to complete what was left in his last life. Be strong and have faith in yourself, and your strength might help your brother as well.
2006-12-09 09:10:18
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answer #8
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answered by kevin 1
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I know it is difficult for you, but you must put him first right now, you can fall apart later....spend as much time as you can with him, it is okay to cry in his presence and tell him how you feel, it will allow him to share how he is really feeling and it will bond the two of you forever.....do things for him that are special, rent movies that he really likes, play music he really likes, fix foods he can eat and make them funny, because I'm sure he can't eat a lot. Like put a face on a pear or potatoe, stupid things like that...Get his friends over to spend time with him, tape a sporting event that maybe he is missing because he is sick, read to him if he was a reader, keep him abreast of what is happening in school or at work, above all let him talk about all his fears...........this is so important.....assure him you are there for him and will be till the end.....afterwards is your time...fall apart, cry, scream, curse, hit the wall, kick your bed, anything you have to do to get the anger out of yourself....the hurt and pain will take a long while and at first it will be hard to breath, but it will get better I promise you....God's speed to your brother, and God bless to you sweetheart......
2006-12-09 08:55:44
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answer #9
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answered by ? 4
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That's really tough, especially at this time of year. You could try making this Christmas really special, depending on how much your brother can cope with.
Other than that, surround yourself with people who care about you and will let you talk, talk, talk, or just be quiet if that is what you need. Make sure you look after yourself, and don't take on anything that you feel you can't cope with.
Have a look at this website, it may help:
http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/
2006-12-09 08:58:06
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answer #10
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answered by Jude 7
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