he left my daughter to go to Ohio he got durnk. when he got back he told her that he had slept with another girl. He blams it on the fact that he was drunk and did't know what he was doing...I think this is a BS story I don't care how drunk you are you know when your having sex with someone.
I think she should dump him and move on... I say once a cheater always a cheater.
she is young. She wants to give him another chance and I think she's crazy.
What can I do to convince her she should dump him and move on.
Or do you think she should give him another chance?
2006-12-09 08:27:33 · 22 answers · asked by msinmn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
everyone is assuming she and he are sleeping together they are not! Her and I are very close and can talk about things as if we are close friends. so unless they are sleeping together this is not an elegel relationship. No I am not a bad mother just concerned and looking out for her. I have covered most of what everyone has suggested the desise thing the she's so young things gave examples of my own past relationships.
Whats so hard is I can not and will not forgive him. I think he's scum and every time he comes to my house to spend time with her he makes me want to throw up. I have thought of telling him I don't want him im my house any more and to not come around...my fear is how will my daughter react to this??? will she hate me or understand?
She's young and attractive, she has other guys her age that would love the opportunity to date her but she’s so stuck on this one looser?
What's a mother to do? But sit back and watch her get hurt?
2006-12-09 09:17:29 · update #1
yup your right once a cheater always cheater
if he cared so much he would have never done that
2006-12-09 08:29:43 · answer #1 · answered by chuy85 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i always say ask if tey thoughtof you when they cheated if they did its the truth and every one knows tha would be the answer but most guys thinks that sound so bad so tey say they didntthink of you andthis is the pointif they say that then they are lying and dont care at all an need to be left now if he tells the truth that he thouht of you as he was screwing some other person thats a hard ting to make a deisscion on cause i had a girl do that to me and im with you once a cheater always a cheater but we have to make that lesson on our own reason im not with her anymore cause she did do it again but there is no reason for it dorry to say i think your gonna have to stay to the side line and be a fan hopeing for the best outcome
2006-12-09 16:33:13 · answer #2 · answered by jon k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to realize that not everyone is perfect. i am also guilty of doing the same thing and i was so drunk i honestly have no memory of doin it. I actually did it after dating a girl for a week, she ended up forgiving me and we have been dating for 3 1/2 years and i have never cheated on her again.
2006-12-09 16:47:48 · answer #3 · answered by hernarico 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is blind and usually stupid. She will make her mistakes and - with luck - live to tell about them. It is better to make a lot of little mistakes young rather than make a few big mistakes later on. Give her your advice - and any good advice you get here - and tell her you will still be her parent and maybe a friend if she needs one. But my advice - tell her to move on. Not all men are sreial cheaters, but a drunk is usually a drunk.
2006-12-09 16:36:13 · answer #4 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you but the most important thing you have said is that she is 17. She does not know any better. The more you fight with her on this the more she is liable to do the exact opposite. YOu have said your peace now step back and let things fall as they may. Be supportive when she comes crying to you that he has done it again, because we both know it will. That is how you let your children grow up.
Please just make sure that she is using condoms if not, there will be other bigger problems to deal with later.
2006-12-09 16:33:53 · answer #5 · answered by Full of Life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she should let him go. She is so young and there will be others. Explain how, even if you are drunk, you know what you are doing. He knew in his heart that he was already involved and should not have let it get that far along. It shows her that he was "interested" in somebody else, and not 100% committed in their relationship. You have to try and convince her. She should be interested in college and making a life for herself, not boyfriends who cheat on her. You don't want for her to fall into a pattern of allowing men to cheat on her. I wish you and her the best of luck.
2006-12-09 16:37:40 · answer #6 · answered by looloo1122 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know anything about your relationship with your daughter and how you discuss personal issues but if you are close in this way then you could mention about diseases associated with sleeping around, and how he is putting her at risk, especially if he continues to do this.
Becareful though about being too 'heavy', lecturing her too much. I agree with you and know that you care, but teenagers won't always listen to their parents and think they are too uncool or out of touch. Test the water and if she is defensive then back away. See if there is anyone else who could talk to her about this and try to get her to see sense.
If not, you can just be there for her to comfort her if this happens again and she decides to dump him after all.
Good Luck, and thanks for being a good mom!
2006-12-09 16:36:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow its too bad your daughter has such little respect for herself...I hope she can find that somehow or she will be getting crapped on by guys her whole life, and this one in particular...if she stays around then he knows he can get away with it...
As far as the drinking, I have never slept with a woman drunk that I wouldn't have sober, and they say alcohol is the best truth serum, right...the guy is a piece of crap, as you know, and he knew exactly what he was doing...
2006-12-09 16:30:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, she is underage and he is not. She is a minor and he is not. This relationship shouldn't have happened. But...I don't always believe that once a cheater always cheater, I mean atleast he told her. I'd say let her make her mind, it's her relationship. But you know it won't work out. Sometimes getting hurt is the only way of it getting to her head. If you don't agree, speak your mind and tell her point blank. You're her mother and you don't want her to get hurt.
2006-12-09 16:34:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you are too enmeshed in your child's life, and you obviously are not making very good choices for your daughter. If you were a responsible adult role model ie, mother as you should not be allowing her to date a 20 year old in the first place. What the heck is going on in the world today. What are you trying to live your life through her and be her best friend. You seem to have your roles a little crossed here. God bless****
2006-12-09 16:31:19 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well.... he did tell her, which means he wants to be honest with her. That's promising. If it were me I'd give him another chance, but only one more.
I don't believe in the "once a cheater always a cheater" line.
2006-12-09 16:30:28 · answer #11 · answered by ? 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋