What do you usually take to a funeral?

Question

You dress in black right? But what does someone take?
(I'm new to American funeral etiquette)

Answer 1

A corpse is essential.

Answer 2

Forgive me, but I cant help being amused by the question. Gee, what CAN ya take to a funeral? The deceased can't appreciate a present of any kind.
I don't even understand all the black, either. I mean if you believe that when you die your spirit is going to a wonderful place, why would you be miserable for that person who has died? It makes you feel sad, of course, if that person you are sending into the next world, has died before his time, and perhaps somebody you loved and are going to miss .But you either believe you will see that person again, or you don't. If you do believe that, then it is not "goodbye" If you believe that death is the end of everything, well, no point being miserable at all. because there is nothing you can do about it, and some day it will happen to you too.
When my much loved Mother-in-Law passed away two years ago, I and my husband rejoiced. She was old, and tired, and her body had just worn out. She was a deeply religious woman, and she said she just wanted to "go home". It wasn't about US, it was about her - and she passed gently into her good night, to find there, whatever it is that awaits any of us after this life. Personally I don't think that when we leave this world we just "go pop" My feeling is that our "essence", our "personal consciousness" our "soul" if you like that word, transitions into some other realm of being where we have some kind of reunion with our loved ones. So, when I go to a funeral, I do NOT wear the symbols of mourning. I go, dressed pretty much the way I would go if I were going to visit that person in life. I go, being the person that I am, and the way they always knew me. What do you take to a funeral? Just yourself, my friend. Just yourself.

Answer 3

You don't have to dress in black. A lot of funerals I have been to are much more casual memorial services or celebrations of life. I was at a service just this morning where 75% of people were in jeans and cowboy boots. It depends on who the funeral is for and where it's being held. Usually basic work-type clothes - slacks and a sweater, simple dress, sport coat and tie, etc are perfectly acceptable anywhere.

As for taking something... the only time i have ever taken anything is when there is a potluck reception after the service and everyone is asked to bring a dish.

*edit - if you feel like you need to contribute something, you can send flowers to the family or church ahead of time. Don't take cards or anything else to the service.

Answer 4

Ask some friends what they will wear. Some people are dressing for a party instead of mourning as a celebration of the person's life. I would bring a card with $20.00 in it to help with expenses for the funeral. If you go the the home after the funeral it would be appropriate to bring a dish of some kind. Don't worry too much and just relax as much as possible.

Answer 5

Only the immediate family used to dress in black... now it just conservative colors. I don't know what you mean by 'what does someone take?' I think you just bring yourself to a funeral. If you're visiting someone's home AFTER a funeral, you might bring some food so they don't have to cook during their time of mourning, That would be thoughtful

Answer 6

Usually, you do not take anything with you; instead you should send a letter or card giving your condolences to the family and if you like you can send flowers to the funeral home or to the family with your condolences.

You do not have to dress in black, actually; just muted colors out of respect for the dead. Dark blue, dark green, gray and beige are all acceptable colors. In other words, don't break out your holiday garb; keep it quiet and don't wear anything that screams for attention, and you should be fine.

Hope this helped.

Answer 7

When you go to a funeral you only need to take yourself. You show up to respect the family. Before the funeral you can send a card or flowers. But when going to the funeral itself you just go.

Answer 8

If you want you can send a card and or flowers but normally you dont take anything to the visitation or funeral mail it to the family before hand

Answer 9

If you want to send flowers, have the flower shop deliver them to the house so the family is not burdened with having to haul them home. If you are close to the family of the person that passed away offer to take food to the house. After the death of a loved one food is usually the last thing on their mind and they really appreciate not having to cook.

Answer 10

Nothing and ditch the black wear what ever you want. The people already feel bad enough and black colors seem to make a bad situation worse. No flowers because the family won't be making sure you sent flowers and the cemetary throws them away anyway. Just bring yourself and heart felt sympathy.

Answer 11

No you do not need to wear black to a funeral anymore, any muted colors would be ok. You do not need to take anything unless you volunteered to bring something.