Im alone and feel depressed?

Question

I am free now after my tough bachelors and now I feel depressed almost everyday. Mostly bcoz of my family and how we have learned to live and make others live in depression. Its almost like a curse. My family and society doent consider that there are things like anxiety and depression in young adults im 23 and I cant live alone coz my culture is such. Plz dont tell me to move out I really cant not til August 2007 and maybe not even then.

In my country mental health problems = Mental Hospital . Period. There are almost no phsyciatrists and even if there are I cant visit them. No way.
I have a phobia of people and its so strong that I prefer being closed up in a room rather than go meet friends. If I do I always say something wrong come home and cry..for weeks sometimes.Dont tell me I shouldnt have it coz thats what I get for asking my parents and I have NO SINCERE freind I can talk to. When I tell my mom about my problems...if she is in a bad mood ever later, she calls me abnormal.

Answer 1

Well, sweetie, you are in charge of your own feelings. Depression and alcoholism ran in my family as well. You have power.

Get out of the house and go see a movie (comedy, preferably).

Call a friend that is up beat!

Write a letter or keep a journal.

Pray.

Take a long bath and put some calgon and bubbles in there. Light some candles by the tub. Stay in there for hours.

Get a dog. You will be able to talk to him and you will have to take care of him. Walking is a refreshing mind clearing exercise.

Good luck. You are in control of you. Not anyone else. You have choices and you make them every day.

Answer 2

Do not consider yourself helpless because of your country or culture. Your the way you think makes you feel the way you do.

Get a new hobby or keep yourself busy. If you join a hobby class, wou cuold make some new friends there.

Do you work? If not, getting a job would force u to interact with colleagues and that will help you overcome your phobia or insecurities while interracting with others, as well as make you financially more secure thus making you more confident.

It is not possible that there are no psychiatriasts anywhere in your country. Yet, if you cannot find one, a local doctor can prescribe antidepressants that are really helpful. There is no need to go to a 'mental hospital' and definitely no need to tell anyone that you're seeing a doctor regarding this problem of yours. You are entitled to a right to privacy and confidence so the doctor you see won't tell anyone else unless you tell him/her to involve your family etc. - This law applies in most countries - even in India where such a culture exists.

What you basically need to do is get out of your shell, boost your self confidence - do something you like and are good at...If you don't know yet, it's high time you tried things and discovered yourself. Once your confidence levels are high, you'll not fear interacting.

If you are an introvert, you can bury yourself in books or entertaining movies etc. However, you could make a few friends and go out too.

It will take time for you to trust someone and become best friends but if you don't mingle that wont happen. It all starts with an aquaintaince....

So best of luck

Answer 3

I am sorry that your country has such a primitive way of dealing with mental health issues. It sounds like there is a stigma there attached to have any sort of problem, whether it is depression or anxiety.

It's not surprising to me that your parents don't get it. I live in the US and my parents never understood when I tried to reach out to them and tell them about my depression and anxiety disorder. They told me I was acting stupid and I could stop it if I wanted to. I think our parents are just ignorant and don't understand the nature of mental illness.

I go to a website called about.com. They have different categories you can look under. If you look under health, you will come to depression and you can register there to post in their forums and talk in the chat room. I have met some very nice people there just by posting on the forums and replying to other people's posts.

I don't get out either. I have no friends other than the ones I make online so I know how you feel. I don't have social anxiety or agoraphobia but I do have a seizure disorder that keeps me from driving and getting out and it makes my depression even worse. If you ever want to talk let me know. Good luck to you....

Answer 4

I know exactly how you feel except for I don't your culture. Unfortunately, you need to accept being alone. Being alone is extremely hard, I know, but you must go on. In my case, I have kids, so I can't just give up. Do you have pets or can you get one. A good pet can make you feel better. You're not abnormal. I would try to find at least one friend but I would be extremely careful in choosing one and never trust anyone 100%. I'm 21 and I live much the same way as you, but I've learned that being alone will probably always be me. I could be surrounded by 10 people who say their my friends but I would still feel alone. The one thing that you must understand is that you have to deal with other people to live. So the best way to cure your problem of dealing with people is to start to interact with them, only a few. There doesn't have to be a lot of interaction, you just have to make yourself do it a little bit so you are used to doing it when you need to, there will be a time when you need to interact, so get yourself used to it now. Occupy your mind. When people tend to stay to themselves they have a lot of time to think, and thinking all the time is what gives you more a problem. Some people would say that's a way of avoiding your problems. It's not because you will still think about you're problems, just not all the time. Too much of anything isn't good. One day if you think of some question you don't know the answer to, go look it up, learn about it, I mean do searches on it, not just come to Answers because you don't know what you'll get when you ask a question on here. In summary, just change a few things at a time, so things don't change, so you work around them; you find a way to occupy yourself.

Answer 5

It's called agoraphobia. I have to take medicine to be around poeple, and i'm still a little jumpy, and still sometimes find it hard to breathe around people. I don't know if this is something you can do, or if it will help you. even with a phobia being closed up can cause depression. If you have a back yard just go sit out there. If you can get a pet of your choice. you can talk to pets, and they are always loving and accepting. The best part is, they never judge you for the things you fall short on. I won't lecture, because what you're feeling is scary, but maybe find a place on the web and make web friends. just a few ideas. I hope they help.

Answer 6

I am sorry that you are having so much trouble. You do not state where you live, or what nationality you are. You do not state gender either.

It sounds like you have a condition called Agoraphobia. It is a fear of being out in the world. Your mother is correct in that you are abnormal. But it is not something to be ashamed of. We are all abnormal in some way. Some talk to much, some eat to much. Some are to bossy.

You do need some help, but since there is little or no mental health services in your country it will be tough. I advise you to look for answers on the Internet. Look under depression and agoraphobia. The try to get someone close to you to look at what you find out.

Seek help from your church, synagogue, or mosque, what ever? It is part of what they are supposed to do. (A Christian organization might be your best chance for help.) Are there any Mormon churches in your area? (LDS Church.) They will do anything they can to help you.

Good luck and may the God you worship help you in your time of need.

Good luck!

Answer 7

I don't think you are scared of people, if you were you would never go out...It could be you are afraid people won't like you or accept you. I don't understand how a person can go 23 yrs and never develop any kind of relationships w/ anyone outside of thier family and it doesn't sound like you have any siblings. I say try to meet people with similar interest as yours join a club or something like that where you meet once a week or once a month, you don't have to talk to people right away go to the meetings and observe after a while when you are more comfortable just be yourself and get more involved...It sounds like you want to have friends and be around people, you just haven't really learned any social skills, which isn't hard to develop once you get out there. Or when you walking in the store or anywhere public be friendly to everyone say hi or smile, make eye contact.

Answer 8

It sounds like your social anxiety is isolating you, so it's not surprising you are depressed and have nobody to talk to. You isolate yourself because social situations cause you anxiety, then you become depressed because you are isolated.

Social anxiety is the result of avoiding uncomfortable situations. Everyone feels discomfort at times in social situations, but people who suffer from social anxiety have a habit of avoiding those situations. Every time you avoid something, you are less practiced in handling that something, which makes you more anxious about it, which makes you want to avoid it even more! It is a vicious cycle that increases anxiety, and decreases your social skills, every time it happens. Eventually this habit of avoiding results in a person who is socially awkward and full of anxiety, and not capable of facing the situation.

Once you realize how this habit of avoidance creates the social anxiety, you can start planning ways to slowly break the habit. My advice would be to find some good books on the topic (social anxiety disorder) and follow the advice they give you.

Can your regular medical doctor prescribe you some Paxil? That would solve the problem of not being able to see a psychiatrist. It does wonders for anxiety & depression. You can tell people it's for a stomach disorder or something. You still have to make an effort to change your habits, but Paxil will make that process MUCH easier.

Good luck.

Answer 9

Sounds like my mom. I don't have your exact predicament of not being able to leave yet because of family. However I went through that when I was 23 and 26. I got real bad, but I got help. My parents thought it was taboo or wrong to be like that. I still feel shame, but knowing now that it is common thing for a lot of people makes me feel more validated--like I am not crazy. I think that hanging out with your friends who are positive and not talking a lot about your phobia will help you out. That may be the best you can do for now, until you can see a therapist one day and get medication. What a shame that you can't get proper help. If you want a friend, IM or email me. I don't know what else to offer for advice for you at the moment, but what I said. Plus I want to say that prayer helps--really.

Answer 10

How are you ever supposed to know what is "normal behavior" when you are living with people who do not behave properly themselves. There is depression and anxiety in young people whether your parents admit it or not. That is a fact. They are extremely insensitive to your needs. You can , however, seek help through self-help books that are available to help you with problems of anxiety and depression. Meanwhile, search the internet for resources to help you. To feel better about yourself, you must reach inside your mind and choose to not take on any more pain and look for something that makes you feel better. Start smiling at others when you walk by. They will respond with happiness back to you. If you have a pet, tell it what you are feeling. If not, find someone who is walking a pet and ask them about their dog? People like to talk about things that interest them. Avoid the depressive talk until you find someone who will listen. OK? This is not much advice but you don't seem to have many options. Look ahead and realize living like you are is going to change dramatically within the year and you need to get ready for a new life. Start by taking care of yourself in any way you can. Start dreaming about what your apartment will be like and what colors you will have around you. Just look forward. ALL MY BEST FOR YOU!