How do I make my son like his dad?

Question

My son is only 5yrs old.I have always seen him looking for approval and praise from his dad but hardly ever gets it.My hubby never had a father figure while he was growing up and in the past I had to tell him that he needs to spend time with our son otherwise he will grow to resent him like he did with his dad.I have never "dogged"off his father but while engaging in coversation over dinner with my son again with no daddy there as usual he just came out and said that he does not like his dad because he always shouts at me.I do not know what to do now because I think his father will blame me

Answer 1

I'm a mom of a 14 year old boy and his father is a fool period. You can't force any relationship on anyone regardless of relationship or age. You can tell his father what your son said. Now if he chooses to continue to be distant then so be it his loss. What you need to do is make sure you are not a bad, distant parent. Continue to love your son, continue to spend quality time with your son. He will have some rough times ahead I know that from experience but in the end he'll be able to make decisions about his father on his own. And may just stand up to his dad in the future....If you spend too much tim worrying about their relationship you'll ruin the one you have with your son. Focus on him....

Answer 2

You answered part of this question yourself. You said your son doesn't like his dad "because he always shouts at me." Does he shout at you or your son?

And dinner with your son "again with no daddy there as usual". I'm sorry, but I don't think the problem is just your husband's relationship with your son.

It's true there are some men who don't know how to relate to younger children.What bothers me is the last line of your note. I keep seeing a lot of things that you're not asking.

To put it bluntly, you need to talk with your husband about his lack of participation. If you're afraid to talk with him, ask yourself why.

Will he withhold affection? Yell at you? Hurt you? If you answer "yes" to any of these questions, or if you've been feeling cut off from friends and family because he doesn't like you hanging out with them, you may be in an abusive relationship.

You need help. Talk with your doctor or someone you trust. I don't usually suggest therapy, but you and your husband need to learn to communicate, at the very least.

Like it or not, your husband is an important role model for your son. Do you want him to grow up like that? You're a mom now. The most important job a parent has is to protect and nurture their child.

Be strong. You can do it!

Answer 3

First of all you have to remember your son is only 5yrs old he probably gets shouted at for the same reason all 5 yr olds get shouted at for. Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to say that your husband is right or wrong for that matter. My real dad left me when I was 5 I was lucky though I had a great step dad In a love hate relationship.Boy I don't half miss him, anyway enough of me.
My advice!

Set up some sort family day out and blend in to the background let his Dad have to spend time with him if he likes it or not.

If like you say your husband did not really have a dad he probably don't know how to act like a Dad and has to learn it for him self
after all who said being a parent was easy!.

Answer 4

I don't usually go for the counselling stuff but I think on this one you need some kind of professional help sounds like your husband is locked in the way his childhood was and the type of up bringing he had I hope you can persuade him to get some advise because to miss out on his child's love would be such a shame and something he could regret for a very long time Good Luck

Answer 5

Your husband should know better - from his own upbringing. It's sad that he's missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime, and will probably realize his loss - far too late. You cannot influence your son at all - he sees the reality of how his father is. Just be twice the parent that you need to be, and make up for his lacking parental skills. My ex was just as lax - and he's paying for it now. My two teens have NO time whatsoever for him, and I've never had to say a word. They know what I've done for them, and see him for the selfish no-good that he is.

Answer 6

Your question places the cart before the horse. The child is being intimadated, and bullied. You may find some of the Information at:
http://uk.360.yahoo.com/greagues2
of some help - whil you are considering the future wellbeing of your child, with or without the so-called father that the child is afraid of. Child Abuse comes in many different forms and 5 year olds are sensitive to abuse in whatever manner. Cop On Lady.

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Answer 7

you need to seriously talk to your husband.. then once he understands how his lack of a father figure for him has affected his son. If I was your husband... I would sit the boy down with you and drill into your son's brain that we both love him and that we have an open door policy and when ever the boy needs to talk about anything... then he can. Let the boy know that he can talk to you at anytime.. and be understanding... GOOD LUICK

Answer 8

dont force your son to like his dad otherwise he may grow to resent you for forcing him to something that he may not want or feel ready to do, just explain to your hubby that you would like him and you're son to start bonding and suggest that maybe he start with something simple like a bedtime story while you do the dishes, or ask him to take your son the park one afternoon and explain to your son that it would be fun to do something with his dad once and a while, he doesn't have to all the time. if you start slowly like that, your son and hubby may grow to like spending time with each other and if your hubby does shout at you in front of your son, then ask him not to do so as it is upsetting yourson and you don't want him to feel afraid around you two. i hope everything works out for you all.

Answer 9

YOU CANT!
HE'S REBELLION AGAINST HIM FROM LEAVING YOU GUYS..
YOU CANT SEE THAT?
BUT IF THE DAD WANT TO SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME WITH HIM. LET HIM.....THAT MEAN MORE THAN ANYTHING IN LIFE...AND YOU DONT HAVE TO SAY A WORD.
KIDS SENSE THING ALSO..IF ITS NOT RIGHT HE WILL LET YOU KNOW. YOU DONT HAVE TO FORCE THAT RELATIONSHIP. .TALK TO HIM AND UNDERSTAND THEY WILL TALK THEN. AND BY THE WAY YOU HAVE TO BE THE ADULT.YOU GIVE THE RULES NOT THE CHILD. HE'S TO YOUNG TO TELL YOU THAT HE DON'T WANT TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH HIS DAD. LET HIM KNOW THAT NOW. AND ON THE OTHER HAND, SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, AND ,MEAN WHAT YOU SAY.. THIS IS WHERE YOU NEED TO STEP IN AND LET YOU HUBBY KNOW. THAT THE CHILD DON'T LIKE THIS. DON'T BE AFRAID.. YOU NEED TO STAND IN THE GAP WHERE HE'S LACKING...

Answer 10

well i have a 14 mnt old who hardly gets to see her dad and i know when she gets older she will resent him....but you cant make them like their fathers....you can tell his dad what the problem is and warn him but in the end its up to him to spend time with his son...you jsut keep being a good mom and love your son everything will work out in the in