I find its too important to me and cant get around it...I guess I feel the decisions someone made shows who they are and if I cant get down with it, it wont fly with me. Granted I am not very forgiving either, but perhaps that only amplifies it (and frankly I dont think we should be forgiving, but thats another story).
2006-12-09 04:55:28 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if you were not a part of their past, then it's not up to you to judge
2006-12-09 04:58:08 · answer #1 · answered by Tek ~aka~Legs! 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It relies upon!! there's a 11 3 hundred and sixty 5 days age enormous distinction between my boyfriend and myself, i'm 23 and he's 34. He has been with 4 circumstances extra effective sexual companions and it took a at the same time as to recover from that reality, and to no longer factor out many checks on the medical docs to make valuable i did no longer have something:) yet as quickly as you love somebody and that they love you in return, and that they provide the effect of being a distinctive individual from who they as rapidly as have been. that's all that concerns!!
2016-10-14 08:28:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im the same way...dont get involved if something in their past bothers you...and u arent forgiving.... i learned the hard way........ it does show WHO they are, they may lie and claim, oh im different now.but no, that wasnt the case at all :( I believed a lie. 5 years later the truth of who he was all along came out full force.... and he is the same person as when i met him....... my fault i guess :( wanting to believe good in someone :(
so now that he cant work it out with me...because I have high but normal standards (love.romance,respect even a LITTLE!!??) now he has resorted to the rap, drugs, alcohol, and even whores! unbelievable...... im soooo glad I havent been with him for 7 months before this happened tho....because the whole time he pretended to want to be with me, for WHO I am....not true. if he can act this way its who he really is, no self integrity!!!!
2006-12-09 05:05:17 · answer #3 · answered by safarlsun33 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think that a person past should be that important because everyone makes mistake and we all are not perfect, each person deserve to start all over again and its up to that person if they learn something about the mistakes they have made in their past. I look at it that you have to make mistakes in life in order to learn and be more mature in life...so forget about that person past and move on and be happy with each others present.
2006-12-09 05:01:14 · answer #4 · answered by Christiana P 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are missing out. We all have a past. Oftentimes a lot of that past was not their decision to make to begin with. No one has a perfect past. We all make mistakes. Forgive yourself. Then you can forgive others.
2006-12-09 05:00:44 · answer #5 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's moderately important to me, insomuch as it can help me understand them more. I won't judge a person on their past, but I feel like knowing about what they've experienced could help me get a better idea of why they do things they do now.
2006-12-09 05:03:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
These answers are very niave. A person's past is ALL you have to predict their future behavior. It's not judgemental, it's prudent in today's world.
Say you become friends w/ JJ & you don't know he's been dealing meth for last 2 years. He's been clean of this for 5 months-while you know him. You never knew his past.
Your boss is hiring and you tell JJ of the job. All is fine UNTIL JJ's past catches up w/him. JJ is under investigation & fired. Now YOU are under suspicion for being associated w/ a meth dealer.
That's privacy law for you. If by chance someone omits the truth or flat out LIES, you can be presumed to have poor judgement- involvement- whatever. No way to protect yourself when PRIVACY LAWS prevent you from knowing the truth or verifying what you're told.
2006-12-09 05:11:01 · answer #7 · answered by upside down 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you can't get around someone else's past, how can you expect them to get past yours?
Everyone grows and learns something from past experiences. i know it sounds childish, but what happened the first time you touched a hot stove burner? Did you do it again? You learned something, right?
A person's past is what has made them waht they are today. A broken heart is the hardest thing to get over, and the hardest to forget.
If a person makes the decision to get lit every night and you are not a drinker, then that person may not be the one for you. But, if that person decided to put their heart and soul on the line and lost, then why would you hold that against them? They are back in the big ball game called Life, and are trying to move forward.
Base your decisions on the present, rather than the past. For example, if you are dating someone today, and they make the decision to cheat on you tonight, then you can say that person is not for you.
Remember, we have ALL made bad or silly choices in our lives. It is what you do after you make a mistake that is most important.
2006-12-09 05:03:24 · answer #8 · answered by bux_martinfan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People change, and their past is not a judgement of their character now. I used to be very jealous of the past, but it just causes me more pain. If you can absolutely not get over their past, then maybe you should look for someone who is perfect and does not have a past!!
2006-12-09 05:00:04 · answer #9 · answered by Smiley 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you've way to judgemental...everyone has a past, INCLUDING you..and i'm sure you're not perfect..NO ONE is...you've made your share of mistakes....you have no right to judge ANYONE....you'll never have a healthy, loving, successful relationship with such a lousy outlook on life....
2006-12-09 05:00:16 · answer #10 · answered by Syeira 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is not important at all. You shouldnt go digging into someones past. But if you just happen to find out something, Tell that person because if you keep it bundled inside your mind, you angrier and angrier and/or sadder and sadder.
2006-12-09 04:59:15 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋