What happen to parent;s disciplining their children?

Question

Last night I took my 4 year old and 2 year old to our city's tree lighting. We were on the hay ride with a bunch of children. All they were saying is f this and f that, I nicely told that there were little children on the ride and to please stop. The girl looks at me called me some names and laughed at me.
Than as my son was getting up the teenager who was only 11 pushed him down. My mom was getting my daughter off the ride and the girl who was calling me names pushes my daughter down and if it wasen't for my father being down at the end to help her off she would of fell off the ride.
Where I am going at is why do parent;s give children so much freedom?
If I ever acted that way I would of got smacked right than and there. Where is the discipline in children now a days? It seems like I am the only one that wants my children to grow up with respect and manners.

Answer 1

I totally agree. It seems that Parents don't take the time to disciple their children. I work in a bank and many times parents come in with their children and let the kids do whatever they want in the bank. I have even seen kids open desk drawers and take things out and the parents don't do anything. Then it is up to the bank staff to tell the kids to stop. The parents then still wont do anything. I think parents should be held accountable to the children's mistakes. And if a child does something wrong, the child and parent should be punished.

Answer 2

First, we should acknowledge that there are some great kids and great parents out there. Don't feel like you are alone. There are others out there trying to do the right thing. But you are right, a trip to a public event, a visit to a mall or school will leave you scratching your head, wondering what parents are doing or not doing these days.

I agree it is a combination of things. Many parents do no properly supervise their children. They think an adolescent is a young adult. So they let them watch whatever they want on television, listen to whatever music they want, play any game they want, go to any movie they can get into. In the movies and games, kids see people cursing and being aggressive. These characters are not punished for how they act; in fact, they are portrayed in a good light, so kids imitate them.

What is really disheartening is when kids act up right in front of the parents, and the parents do nothing. To many parents, "discipline" and "punishment" have become dirty words. Many parents think it is cruel or abusive to punish a child; they mistakenly believe that ignoring bad behavior will make it go away. Also some parents think that parents should be friends with their child. When parents become a child's friend, they make themselves the equal of the child; thus giving up their parental authority. (Parents should love their children, but they shouldn’t try to be their friends. Two different things.)

What can we do about this is another big question.

By the way, you showed remarkable restraint. Next time, go to security at the event and asked that those misbehaving kids be removed.

Answer 3

First of all you should have reported these children to the police asap. They assaulted your children! Secondly the person in charge of the ride should have kicked them off of it.
As to why parents give children so much freedom, your guess as is good as mine. I too would have gotten smacked and my mouth washed out with soap for that language.
This is not an excuse, but part of our problem today is the government stepping in saying what we can and cannot do to discipline our children. A social worker told someone I know that time outs are even beginning to be considered cruel punishement. So now we can't spank our children, yell at our children, put them in the corner or put them in time out! What are we supposed to do? No wonder we have children shooting schools and doing all sorts of things. Parents have no way to stop it and as for unruly children, good luck. The police won't do anything because they juvenille system is too full as it is! What a way to show our youth right from wrong!.
Next time this happens I would grab the child and haul him to the nearest police officer and tell him you want the child arrested for assault. Your children do not deserve to be treated that way and you do not need to put up with it!

Answer 4

You are soooo right. I had the same thing happen last week in our neighborhood. An older (12-13 y/o) boy was talking to my children and some other smaller children out in front of my house and I happened to over hear him saying derogitory things that made my 10 y/o feel uncomfortable, I told him I was going to take him to his mothers and tell her how he was behaving, he just looked at me and said, my mom don't care anyways. I almost fell over, my parents would have smacked me in the mouth right then. No questions asked. I can't believe parents allow children to behave and speak this way, sometimes I think it's the parent who needs a good kick in the ***.

Answer 5

Some parents just don't care. I would have been boiling. Don't ever let anyone hurt your children. If something like that ever happens again stand up and do something about it. Your little ones are too little to stand for theirselves. I would have grabbed that teenage girl and hauled her but to either her parents or the police to handle. It would have scared her if the police would have taken her to the police station and called her parents. My sister has dealt with this with her kids and she literally grabbed this boy who was 12 by the back of his neck and took him to his mother and told her to get a grip on her kids or don't bring them out to public. He pushed down my neice and nephew who were only 4 and 6 at a basketball game. I am sorry that happened to you, its hard to see your kids get bullied around. If there is a reasonable way to handle the situation then do so.

Answer 6

Unfortunately, it's a combination of many things. Today, parents' mindsets are to just let the kids do what they want, and they'll figure out right and wrong on their own. We live in a whatever-feels-good-do-it society. Heaven forbid that we restrict our kids the way our parents restricted us. As you said, had I acted like that it was grounds for a beat-down. To further the laziness I just mentioned, alot of parents are afraid to properly discipline their kids because it seems that everywhere you go, there's a camera watching you. It only takes one mettlesome rent-a-cop or store employee to have you up on charges of child abuse. On the bright side, YOUR kids will be the ones telling today's little monsters to go and mop the floor. :-D

Answer 7

Are you kidding,.. I smack the **** out of my kids all the time,..

Hell,.. sometimes,.. I just haul off and whack em for no good reason.... (keeps em thinking you know,.. like maybe i can read there minds and know there up to know good)

jk

The real problem is lack of parenting all togethor,.. what aren't we more than 50% divorce rate,.. think of all the single parents,. and babies having babies in this country....

children unequipped to deal with babies spouting that same age deosn't matter bullshit. For every one success of a responsible single underage parent theres at least 10 failures...

It starts before physical discipline and starts with a good foundation at home.... mild physical discipline can be affective,. but if you have parents doing that thing called parenting you don't even need to resort to physical punishment to raise children properly

Answer 8

You have great patience...in a way...you could have pushed that 11 year old back FOR your daughter in self defense. Your defending your daughter when you do that. Ok maybe it's just me and what I just said was wrong but you really do have good patience and I applaud you for that. A majority of the time, bad children are a relfection of their parents. I'm not saying ALL the time, just most.

Answer 9

There is more then one answer,..

First off the kids get this from their parents. Like a woman I saw in a store and heard talking on her cellphone,.. her and her friends (all parents) assume their children are not sentient beings and that they should be dragged around like dolls. This womana nd her friends listen to rap and garbage with their children because the parents love rap. They do not listen to censored rap. Therefore she was shocked when one of her favorite songs came on and one of the kids in her car started singing it, doing the gestures of the artist. This song was not appropriate for children, the lyrics were unappropriate for children. their parents had all listened to and watched this around their children many times,.. and yet it was a shock to her and the others that their children would know some thing that is for adults even though they were exposed to it daily. Even without entertainment as a factor, it has always been there have been parents that went on curseing sprees... and isn't it shocking and surpriseing when their children use and are aware of the words they are exposed to often (see The Christmas Story for proof this has been going on longer then sex and violence on TV).

As for disapline,.. OVERLY DISAPLINEING children happens alot. It begins, containues, and increases the severity in a circle of abuse. The worst children come from the parents that disapline the most. It makes their children anger, violent,.. criminal,... but this is what all this violence called disapline has put the child's perspective of people as. This has been normal behavior all their lives and they are hostile of and untrusting of all humans. So as a result these children turn into teens that do drugs and get pregnant, they hurt people and commit crimes, the whole time spewing " When I have kids, I will disapline them more... beat them harder." as if this is going to help. It does not,.. their children are the offspring carry the same slogan and are very abusive to their children as well.

There is yet another factor,.. what surrounds children. If all your peers are violent [curseing] maniacs,.. then you have to adapt to survive so you adopt their negative behaviors. And I do mean survive.

It actually seems uncommon for a child who has not been disaplined to be the center fold of what people picture as the undisaplined child. In reality if a parent is of complete neglect to their child in every way, the child has to act like the adult and learns consquences much faster. As a result neglected children that survive are not as likely to be ill mannered monsters,.. if they were to attract so much attention they wouldn't be allowed to take care of themselves.

Good luck trying to keep a Happy Medium. Learn that beating is just loss of one's own body / self control and abusive. Try to restrict yourself when you are concious you are doing it and try to explain/teach... " If the car hits you, you turn to ketchup and can't play or talk any more,.. it's boreing, lonely,.. and I will lose you because we won't see each other any more." Teach consquences when you can,.. not violence,.. it's the consquence you want your children to be aware of,.. not a fear of you.

These days it must be awful to have children surrounded by grand children of 30ish people. All those generations of uncontroled hostility. Parents and Grandparents [and great-grandparents] blameing the child at random for being the source of all ruin and problem with their lives.

Answer 10

I probably would've been arrested for assault if that would have been me. I wouldn't stand for someone hurting my kids even if they were kids themselves. I know what you mean though about some kids being out of control. It comes down to some parents not caring what their kids are doing.