I am a single teen mother. My daughter is 5 months old. her father want nothing to do with her. We split up when I was five months pregnant. We were only engaged, never married. We already went to court for child support, all he is ordered to pay is $50/month. I want him to come see her but he doesnt want to, he never responds to my messages. Can I take him to court for this? like make the judge giv him visitation dates. Or does that just work only if the other parent is willing to visit on his or her own? PLease i really need to know and quick!
2006-12-09 04:49:04 · 22 answers · asked by ms.lonely 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
its a hard situation.but think about it,why do this?why force an indifferent person to see his daughter?would he suddenly become a good parent,"fall in love" with the baby,turn out to be an ideal dad?probably not.would he decide,once he visits her,to come back to u and be a happy family?probably not.the only gift u would be giving ur daughter is a sullen,resentful person,who doesnt love her enough to see her on his own,but has to be forced by the courts to be in her life--does that sound like a gr8 begining to a father/child relationship to u?better to let her see ur dad or other males from ur family,and eventually marry a gr8 step-dad.if when she's older,and he and she are curious,maybe then u all can try the visit thing again.till then,u cant force someone to love anyone,even his own child.plus,if he doesnt want her around,how would he care for her if he was given entire weekends,eventually.if he is indifferent to her,would he be able to care for her and keep her safe?what if he visits,but never shows love?what if its clear to her that for him,she's just a chore and a duty-isnt it better he's out of the picture from day one,than to subject her to the heartbreak of always trying to win a rejecting persons love,but never coming close-how does a scenario like that set her up as a role model for adult relationships-always trying to win the heart of an emotionally unavailable man,perhaps?think very carefully here!ur daughters long-term emotional stability isd at stake !!!!! ps-why call urself ms.lonely????ur a young woman with ur whole life ahead.some people never can have kids,no matter what they do!u have a daughter,enjoy her company-give her all ur love,u'll never be lonely again.u may not see it now,but u r blessed .and someday,u will meet the right guy,who will adore both of u !be strong,and have fun !!!!!!
2006-12-09 05:06:26 · answer #1 · answered by Lyn K 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You could take him to court for visitation but unless he is willing to visit all you will have is a piece of paper. Once the court order is in effect you could file contempt charges that really aren't going to amount to much. There really isn't anything you can do to make him visit and too be honest for the time being it might be a good thing. If you try to force the issue you might wind up getting the yo-yo effect, which is he visits today, says he'll be back next visit, and disappears for a few months. I hate to say this but as long as he is paying support, let the issue lie for the moment. However, if he does at a later time want visitation I would strongly suggest that you obtain a court order before letting him take your child just to protect your child and yourself.
Good luck with everything.
Merry Christmas
2006-12-09 05:10:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want him to be around your child if he's told you he wants nothing to do with her? Children can sense things, and even if you could force him to visit (which you can't), he may never love her... and my even spite her (some men/boys are just mean)... and you child could feel unloved. It will also put you in situations you don't want to be in. Save yourself and your child some misery... move on. And don't have sex again until you are ready to take responsilibilty for anything that may happen. You are too young, no matter what tv, movies, or your friends tell you. Just love that child with all your heart. Mistake or not, she is a gift from God. He has placed her in your care. Be the best mother you can be. Put your child first... always.
2016-05-22 23:03:13 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you can't take him to court and make him visit your daughter. Why do you want to force someone on your daughter who doesn't want anything to do with her. If you do he's just going to treat her like crap because he resents the fact he's being forced to have a relationship.
When you got child support the court put in visitation for him but they can't force him to visit. The only thing they will enforce is if he doesn't pay child support.
Point of the matter is you can't force a relationship between two people. You are going to be causing your daughter great harm by putting her with a man who doesn't want her.
You are better off writing him off for now. If he comes around give him the chance but don't force him. It will just cause greater heart ache for you daughter.
2006-12-09 05:28:38 · answer #4 · answered by butterflykisses427 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can not force him to want to see his child. I can't help wonder, considering your age and the fact that he only has to pay $50 a month (which is really low!!!!), if he is also a teenager?
If so, he probably feels that he is getting off pretty easy right now. Only has to pay $50 a month, and doesn't have to deal with a kid. He is probably not ready right now to be a father, and not you or any judge is going to force him to be ready.
Just leave him be for now. Send him photos of her on holidays or special occasions, but besides that, just let it go. You can't force him to feel what he doesn't feel.
Concentrate on being the best parent you can be, and let the rest fall into place later.
2006-12-09 05:27:00 · answer #5 · answered by LittleMermaid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but you can't MAKE him visit with her. The only thing that you can force him into doing is paying the child support and that is it. What ever you do, don't ever down him in front of her even though she is a baby right now. She will later in life grow up and see how he is. The thing that I don't understand is why you are only getting $50.00 a month, why so little?
2006-12-09 05:25:47 · answer #6 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want your daughter to spend time with ANYONE who was forced to spend it with her? How is this a good thing for any of you?
If the guy is paying support, that is good enough, isn't it? If you think your daughter needs a father in her life, find a guy you both love who WANTS to spend time with her.
Your ex will not magically become a loving, involved dad because of a court order. If anything, it is likely to make him sullen and resentful and guess who will be nearby for him to take it out on?
2006-12-09 04:56:51 · answer #7 · answered by Madkins007 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only thing the courts can do is make him pay the child support. If he does not want to be in her life, the courts can not make him.
2006-12-09 09:49:01 · answer #8 · answered by Lo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want to see her then don't force him. It will be bad for your daughter!
The only way the court thing will work is if he wants to see her and you will not let him.....then he would take you to court for visitation!
2006-12-09 05:38:22 · answer #9 · answered by angelmwilson 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No... Screw him anyway! If he's gonna be such a loser, then why would you want to force him to do that when he really doesn't want to??? I don't understand how anyone could be that way anyway about their kids... This happens a lot. My girlfriends kids father is the same exact way! Her kids are 16, 12, and 10... I say screw him!!! He's a friggin' loser anyway... I don't like him and I don't even know him... By law nobody can force him to see his child. Just sad... He should want to... Sorry...
2006-12-09 05:00:52 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋