My Girl Friend Cheated on me. Should I give her a second chance?

Question

I have been with her for 6 years. I was already thinking about getting married. The last three months I noticed a lot of changes in her. I eventually found out she was cheating on me with one of her co-workers. She says she only did it twice but had been flirting and talking to him for about three months. Our relationship seemed perfect and no one saw it coming. everyone in her family and mine thought we would live happy forever. Now she says she can change. She does not make any excuses and says it had nothing to do with me and how I treated her. she says it was her own issues and she is seeing a therapyst. I asked her not to call me and to give me time and that is exactly what she is doing. I spoke to her a few times and she makes a lot of promisses and keeps saying that she realizes what she lost. but that fact that she does not try harder to get me back makes me wonder if she really means it. She says she is just respecting what I told her (not to call me).what 2 do?

Answer 1

no. i don't think cheaters deserve second chances.

Answer 2

That's tough. 6 years.

I hate to say it but the "once a cheater always a cheater" is pretty true...

The thing is, even if she never cheats again, you may wonder if she is cheating every time she acts different. It will always be there from now on. If you think you guys can live together happily with you mind always a little suspicious of her... then best of luck.. but I think you gotta move on. I would recommend getting out. No need to spend the rest of your life wondering if that was the only time or if she is doing it again.

Answer 3

well i think that it sounds like she knows she screwed up and feels awful about it, so if you asked her not to call shes probably just doing what you asked her to do becaus she thinks that if she does what you tell her then shes got more chance of getting you back. Everyone makes mistakes and maybe this has made her realise just how much you mean to her. She does want you back and shes even gone to a therapist, that shows that shes doing everything she can to make sure your relationship will work. If youve been together for 6 years then its obviously something special, dont let one stupid fling ruin that. She sounds like she deserves a second chance.

Answer 4

It's hard to say. There was a point where I would tell you to kick her to the curb. I know it isn't that easy after being together for so long. If you believe she is making progress with her therapist then maybe you two will be OK. It is going to depend on what she honestly wants between the two of you. She may be in the mindset that if she pushes you, you will keep distancing yourself from her. This is something you have to make your best judgment call on.

Answer 5

Think of things like this.....you've been with her for 6 years....and she's cheated on you.....now if you was to marry her, would she stay true to you after 5 years, after 10 years? I'm sure there's alot more going on that you're not seeing. I know this hurts, been there before. I broke up with my old childhood girlfriend when she done that to me, and have never regretted it. We were together close to 6 years also. We're still friends, but now, she's still not trustworthy, so if I was to ever get divorced, I'd still never consider her as a potential spouse.

Answer 6

hey bro, its really sad to see such a long-term relationship take such a bitter turn unexpectedly. i'd suggest, sit down & have a talk with her. is this her only instance of infidelity? if yes, is she remorseful of her actions?

if the ans to both the questions is yes, then maybe a second chance would b worth considering, else i think it's best to move on, & thank god that u averted a major disaster, shud u hav come to learn of this AFTER ur marriage

Answer 7

I say you shouldn't because if she did it the first time, she may do it again. You if you love her then you should give her a second chance. But if you know that you can get a better girlfriend, someone that will do right by you. Then I say don't give her a second chance. My motto is if you cheat on me, you don't get another chance. Also, you should fvck her and then roll. Or get one of her closer friend fvck them. And piss her off.Thats life... Payback

Answer 8

Don't go back with her. She's only sorry she got caught. For three months, not a week she was talking to this person. She was deceitful and does not deserve a second chance.

Answer 9

Thats up to you. I have cheated on people before, I only stopped once it happened to me. Then I felt horribe wanted to kill someone! I finally realized how it felt and I will NEVER do it again. Not worth it. I dated this guy he proposed gave me a ring. Then he slept with his coworker. I begged him to leave his job, he never did. I would cry and feel sick when we would have sex. He told me I needed to get over it if we were going to be together. Well I got over him. I dumped him eventually. I met someone else who worships the ground I walk on and I couln't be happier.

Answer 10

Let her go. I know if I was trying to get rid of someone, I would cheat. It makes it easier on both parties.

Slip out the back jack. Don't need a new plan Stan, just get yourself free.

This is how AIDS gets spread.

Answer 11

Well, at least she is going to counseling.....that is one good thing. I know that i have cheated on my husband but only after he kicked me out of the house and it didn't really have anything to do with him....it was just a matter of survival. He forgave me but it did hurt our marriage and we are no longer together. So if you can't TOTALLY forgive her and get past it then you should not get back together......................in other words, if you cannot TRUST her then it will never work..............good luck!!!!!!!