My boyfriend is so sweet most of the time. He does lots of things for me. I am usually very happy when I'm with him. Lately he has been saying that I am the worst girlfriend ever and when he gets mad he calls me names like dumb a*s,b*tch, stupid, and says f*ck you.(or he hangs up on me and he says he wishes he wasn't with me and that he didn't love me) This really hurts me and it lowers my self-esteem. I used to tell myself that he didn't mean it or he was just mad and wasn't thinking, but now it's like I believe that I am those things. He says I am a bad girlfriend but I don't agree. What should I do. I am afraid to talk to him about this. I don't want ot hurt his feeling and I NEVER resort to calling him names. I always second guess myself and am afraid to tell him things in fear of his anger and yelling.
2006-12-09 04:08:19 · 27 answers · asked by tarhi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell him by breaking up with that loser! Dump his sorry behind! You can do better than that, girl. You don't need that in your life. Find a man who will treat you right, I know you can!
2006-12-09 04:10:06 · answer #1 · answered by Geoff S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not the answer you want to hear - and we all say things we don't mean in the heat of the moment - but this sounds beyond that.
I think firstly you need to get some confidence - you know in your heart that this can't continue (or shouldn't).
If you feel that he's had enough chances to mend his ways then maybe it's time to cut your losses.
So, you may do things to annoy him - we all do -- however, the problem is how these things are communicated. Most people talk about things - unfortunately, as you're finding, not everyone can do so. If he doesn't like something, he should tell you --- he obviously lacks the ability to do so rationally.
Instinct tells me things aren't going to get any better moving forward. it's just getting the courage to realise that this is the case.
It's your life, you need to decide.
But if i were voting -- i would say get out - tell him it's over but make sure there's someone else close at hand in case things turned nasty.
Before all this -- you may wish to try RELATE or some other similar service to try and work things out.
Good luck --- sounds like you deserve a lot of love and respect, whoever that is from.
2006-12-09 04:16:09 · answer #2 · answered by mrwendal1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend its time 2 get out of that relationship and fast!!!! U tell him that he has been verbal abusive and U need time apart and if it is meant for U to be together He'll get help and you will find your way back together. If you stay in this relationship he could become physically abusive before it is over!!! You R better then that. U have a lot going for U. So U do not Need to stick around this type of cramp. Go find someone else HE IS OUT THERE FOR U
2006-12-09 04:13:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you take my advice now, I PROMISE you, you will save yourself a lifetime of dating guys like this:
Ultimately, you teach your boyfriend how to treat you. So, at this point, since you're hanging around for his abuse, you're teaching him that it's OK to talk to you like this and treat you like this.
This guy sounds incredibly passive aggressive. Sounds like he's trying to act out so that you end the relationship.
Please do.
It is not ever going to get any better.
Remember: you are the prize. You NEVER have to put up with someone treating you this way.
Don't second guess yourself anymore. You're right to feel the way you feel.
Just don't waste anymore time. The quicker you say goodbye to him is the quicker a better boyfriend will come into your life to make you happier than you've ever been before.
I promise.
2006-12-09 04:16:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE HIM!!! This is just the tip of the ice burg and only going to get worse. If you really love someone, you are not controlling and you don't become abusive, PERIOD!!!
You don't have a relationship here, its a situation where he is getting all he wants and when he don't like something, he flies off at you.
Leave while you still can and hold your head up cause there are guys out there looking for a strong, independent, good looking young lady to share their life with and will do most anything for their partner, except abuse them.
2006-12-09 04:12:45 · answer #5 · answered by George C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to be left in the dust. I agree that breaking up with him in person is just going to get you more of the same abuse. Call him and tell him that you are not going to put up with this anymore and that if he can't control himself you are gone. If he starts yelling at you on the phone, gently take the phone from your ear and hang up and be done with him. If he can talk to you reasonably, then maybe you can give him a second chance because he is hearing you.
2006-12-09 04:15:28 · answer #6 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a dumb *****. I think you are smart to NOT lower yourself to his level. Honey, your boyfriend is verbally abusive. You don't deserve that kind of treatment. You need to make a decision here. Are you going to put up with that crap or are you going to walk away and regain your self esteem? I think that being in a relationship should be a good experience. If its making you sad and go to bed crying then its not worth it. Guys like that are capable of stupid things. Walk away. You deserve nothing less than love and respect. Good luck to you.
2006-12-09 04:15:47 · answer #7 · answered by cutencurley_05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are to afraid of him to talk to him and tell him how you are feeling because of his actions and words, Then sweetie, You need to get rid of him. You deserve better then that! Do not ever second guess your self because of a boy/man being mean to you. They are in the wrong not you. Don't let his words lower your self esteem. You are who you are and you be proud of your self..... no matter what he says. Give him what he is asking for, tell him it is over.
2006-12-09 04:12:34 · answer #8 · answered by Fantasy Kel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look sweetie im going to put this as kind as i can,he's a asshole for talking to you like that,what is going on in yall's relationship that he resorts to saying those things to you.people do say things they don't mean.but it sounds like he's trying to tell you something in his out bursts.I don't care how long you've been together,if he not treating you with respect then you need to rethink this relationship,I believe it only gets worse,not better.good luck in the future.but remember you deserve to be treated better!and to answer you,you need to just confront him.you have every right to.unless your afraid of him,then i think you really do have a problem,love means not being afraid!
2006-12-09 04:18:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
cutie get out of the relationship NOW. When he has the power to make you second guess yourself he has too much power over you and he will continue to control you. You are asking for much more abuse staying with him most of the time verbal abuse will escalate to physical abuse, mainly if its started while you are dating. You deserve a boyfriend that treats you like the special person you are.
2006-12-09 04:16:58 · answer #10 · answered by siera_summer75 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think telling him is a great opportunity for intimacy. By letting down your guard and telling your new guy your fears and past experiences you can really get to know who he is, and he can know more about who you are. If you tell him what you have to work out, you guys can help each other and do your best to build a relationship together.
2016-05-22 22:58:25 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋