we have been together 7 years he is now a coke addict and says he gets his coke free as he "runs" it for a dealer. He never has any money and has started behaving very paranoid and strangely. His sex ha as changed slightly he is performing certain acts in a different way. He puts this down to being "out of his head" at the time, I am going mad with rage, fear and frustration, I need to know for sure because I would hate to make the wrong desicion and leave his 18 month old son without a father.
2006-12-09 04:01:39 · 38 answers · asked by celiachic 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
And why would you care? All the above is enough reason to leave him already. Prostitutes or not do you want to raise your child around a coke addict that is also running for a drug dealer to support his habit.. Way to go mom!!
What worries me the most is your more concerned about your husband sleeping with prostitutes then having your son around a drug addict/dealer.. Do you see something wrong with this picture??
2006-12-09 04:03:44 · answer #1 · answered by Issym 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what kind of "father" you think a coke addict is going to be to your son? He needs to get clean, in many senses of the word. Tell him he needs to enter rehab immediately and until he does so, he will have no contact with you or his son. If you are living together, kick him out now. The only way he will get clean is if his world changes drastically enough and the only way to get it back is by becoming sober. You need to help him hit bottom now.
Does it really matter if he is seeing prostitutes? Likely, if he was clean he probably wouldn't.....if he would, then you've just made a terrible choice in a partner. Don't waste your money on a private detective.
If you truly want a "FATHER" for your son, put your son first and get him out of this environment. Perhaps when your partner is clean he can return and actually be a positive influence on your son.
2006-12-09 04:07:47 · answer #2 · answered by Blooeyes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every second of every day you continue to remain with drug additcted partner, you continue to make the wrong decision.
Your son is 100% dependant on you for survival, yet for some reason you seem more interested in worrying about whether your coke additcted partner is using prostititutes?!
If you have any self respect, & any love whatsoever for your son, leave your partner now.
I don't know about you going mad with rage, fear & frustration, but that pretty much sums up how I feel about your question.
2006-12-09 04:24:04 · answer #3 · answered by Kingbee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you have a son with someone does not mean you have to put up with all of his ****. How good can this type of thing be good for your son or you for that matter. What good is the man? He is an addict, he might be screwing around, he's obviously taking some big chance by "running" drugs. You could end up visiting him in prison with your son. I would say to just ditch the guy, at least until he can prove that he is willing to change because you aren't going to change him, even if you do hire a PI.
2006-12-09 04:05:50 · answer #4 · answered by A B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you are right. Don't sleep with him anymore and use protection. If he's got a problem with it, tell him you want to live. No one gets drugs for free, so you can throw that statement in the trash. Unless he is running over the borders. If thats the case then you should get out. If he owes the wrong person your whole family could be in danger. I used to use too, but never had a family either. Now I hate it, and wouldn't touch the stuff. It sounds like the paranoid delusions are starting for him. He will start thinking things are happening when they arent. Believe me man, for your saftey and your childs, get out. It will be his own battle with the demons. He needs to make a choice. His family or the drugs. If you stay he will not have to make that choice. He needs to weigh it out, and with you not around he is forced to make his choice....
2006-12-09 04:13:11 · answer #5 · answered by Daniel R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's a cocaine addict, I would leave. You would not be leaving his 18 month old son without a father - he would be. Right now, he is not a healthy person to be around his son.
If and when he cleans up and becomes stable, you can re-involve him in his son's life...but if something happens to hurt your son, both you and he will be responsible for the damage. This includes legal issues. My niece is currently in prison for knowing that her husband was doing terrible things and continuing to expose her children to it.
Protect your child. Get him out of there.
2006-12-09 04:21:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay although i cannot say that i have ever had a simular situation, i can how ever tell you how i would handle it. Okay first off, you need to as a parent ask yourself, what would turn out the best for my son?
1.having a son without a dad but with a loving mother
2.having a loveing mother who is the only escape from my druggy dad, who is out cheating on me and my mom.
then secondly, it sounds like the situation isnot pleaisng in any sence for you either, and that defeats the entire point of marriage.
2006-12-09 04:09:23 · answer #7 · answered by summer girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hm. yeah you wouldn't want to traumatize your 18 month old son with a lifestyle change like removing him from an environment full of coke addict fathers, drug dealers, prostitutes and other deliciously white trash trappings of a shitty start to his downwards spiraling life. you should definitely make sure dad is so morally repugnant that he's screwing a prostitute!!! Lady, get smart. if you care for your child at all put your head in the right place. unless you want your son to be like his old man get out and get out NOW! my mother ran into the trouble of my biological father being addicted to cocaine at the age of 16 and she had enough sense to pack our stuff and take me away from that. at the age that most girls were going to slumber parties and dances she was working 3 jobs to take care of us. do your son a favor, get out, get to work, and build him a better life. believe me he'll get over the awkwardness of not having a dad for a couple more years a lot easier than he will get over growing up in a freaking crackden.
2006-12-09 04:07:43 · answer #8 · answered by matt 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The right decision for you and your 18 month son is to leave this scum bag now. Don't live your life settling for second best. He needs to behave like a father and a responsible adult and he's not really doing that is he? Get out and move on.
2006-12-09 04:04:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry but whether or not he is using prostitutes is not the main issue here - he's a coke addict! you said it yourself! and whats more you think he has involvement in dealing it!
get your son and yourself away from him now - do you really need to think twice about bringing your son up in the company of a drug addict?? What happens if one day your son gets his hand on that stuff??
Wrong decision - there is only one decision here and its staring you in the face - leave him now with your son. Sorry to sound blunt and harsh but you sound like you need a wake-up call.
I hope things get better for you.
2006-12-09 04:06:34 · answer #10 · answered by She_says 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋