Ok, so we (my family) has custody of my 8 year old cousin. She was in foster care, but they wanted to get her out of that and get her with some family permanently. We went through the foster parenting classes and everything, and now she's living with us. When she first got here, she was a really good kid, but now she's really testing our limits, like most 8 year olds would, but I can't deal with it and I'm left with her a lot. If one of my parents are home, she acts like a perfect little angel, but as soon as they leave she turns into the spawn of Satan. How can I tell her, without swearing or being mean, that she looks like a complete whore and that no 8 year old should even be thinking about boys, sex, and dressing like a prostitute?
2006-12-09 03:36:47 · 12 answers · asked by lp_fanatic_2 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I think you need to have serous talk with this girl. And a talk with your parents. If they don't believe you on how she is acting then get a video camera and tape her.
2006-12-09 03:41:15 · answer #1 · answered by Hugs and Kisses 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This little girl has already been through a lot. She has been removed from her biological parents, placed in foster care, now with you. There is most likely a reason she was placed in foster care originally, so that has probably also affected her. If she is not already, she really needs to be in counseling. Talk to your parents about buying her some clothes that are more appropriate. Your cousin most likely has a reason that she is talking about boys and sex, she may have been exposed to it or could have even been sexually abused. She probably knows that she can get away with behavior when your parents are not home so you should sit down and talk to both your cousin and your parents. Please understand that this behavior is common in children who have been abused and/or neglected and with your family's love and structure plus the help of a counselor, she should begin to adjust to your home and rules.
2006-12-09 15:17:02 · answer #2 · answered by talon 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It might be a good idea to sit down with your parents and talk it over. A lot of kids who are in Foster Care are there because the place they were was not a stable environment. One of the best things that a new family can do for a kid it to provide rules and consequences. If she knows exactly what to expect if she steps outside the family rules, she's more likely to stop pushing them. It will also help if your parents make the clear rule that when they're not home, you two are responsible for each other. I know it may seem like a really sucky proposition for you, but if she feels like you are held to the same rules she is, it may be easier for her to listen to you when you try to give her big-sister advice.
2006-12-09 11:47:39 · answer #3 · answered by miss_freakin_amazing 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're a teenager JUST TELL HER!!! Say...hey..You're dressing and acting like a slut!! If you were an adult...I'd say TRY to talk to her! But being a kid...tell her...You'd tell a friend if she was starting to act that way...WHY NOT HER!!!? Just tell her...I know this doesn't seem mature...but treat her the way she's treating you. My older children are 16 and 14 and their father just remarried and they NOW have a 10 yr old step sister...who acts this same way...when HER mommy's around...she acts like THEY DID EVERYTHING and she was just sitting there watching cartoons...having milk and cookies..WHILE THEY tormented and treated her MEANLY!!! But when NO one is around but the 3 of them ...she treats them like crap and does ALL the things she CLAIMS they did...My son, the 14 yr old, finally taped her...and let mom see for herself...My daughter ( the 16 yr old) told her she dressed like a tramp and she didn't want to be seen with the likes of her...
2006-12-09 13:29:16 · answer #4 · answered by just me 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats hard the best way is to just show by example because kids aren't going to listen because they think they know everything. So just show her that you can be a lady and classy without dressing like a whore and that she will get more respect by doing that.
2006-12-09 11:44:00 · answer #5 · answered by twiggy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to remember that his kid has had a really rough life in only the 8 years that she has been alive. children this young are very impressionable and it's probably something that she saw her parents, or whomever, doing. you just need to talk to her. tell her that other people of her age do not worry about these things and that she has plenty of time to worry about things like boys. and any clothing that she has that is allowing her to dress inappropriately should be taken away. it's not going to happen overnight, it's all about long term reinforcement.
2006-12-09 11:42:30 · answer #6 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your parents about what is going on with your cousin. She may need some counseling for what she has gone through with foster care and abandonment issues. I hope that your parents will understand that it isn't your responsibility to parent your cousin and that you may need more help with this. Good luck!
2006-12-09 11:46:10 · answer #7 · answered by lynnguys 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? At 8 years old, I highly doubt your parents are letting her dress like a whore. I think the real reason is that you are jealous about the attention being given to her and that you are mad about babysitting. Grow up and stop being so hateful and selfish! She needs the same, if not more, attention that you get, so all I have is three words for you--- GET OVER IT!
2006-12-10 23:43:41 · answer #8 · answered by lisads1973 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Try to suggest something else for her to wear that is in style and something she would like....she has been through alot and she probaly just needs time to figure that she is loved and hopefully it won't take to long but just allow her to have her space and if she wants to talk to you no matter how stupid or boring it is listen and try to give her some good advice but she doesn't want a lecture.....good luck......show her she is loved its very important to her trust me
2006-12-09 11:46:50 · answer #9 · answered by Lady 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your parents about this.
If your father is in the home maybe this will help.
Maybe she is trying to get the attention of a father figure?
Maybe there was sexual abuse?
Counseling for her and the family?
2006-12-09 11:42:15 · answer #10 · answered by truthwalker7 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋