My husband doesn't like my 4 yr male old Jack Russell, he won't play with him unless I beg him to, He hates walking him and sometimes he has to cuz I'm pregnant and have mild sciatica. Evrything he does(ie bark, run around, get sick or vomit on the floor, etc) all dogs behaviors he goes crazy and has a fit! I am tired of it! I had my dog for 3 years b4 I ever met my hubby and don't plan on getting rid of him. I don't claim that my dog is perfect or wel trained but he isn't a menace either. Before me my husband really liked Pitt bulls which I won't let him have cuz I fear them and don't trust their temperament. I think he resents that so he takes it out on my dog. He tells me stories about how he raised his dogs in the past and do not agree with his practices, I find them harsh and unneccessary. He never forms the bond with his animals that my family does with ours. I treat my dog like my first child and he can't understand that. What can I do to mediate their relationship?
2006-12-09 03:03:38 · 15 answers · asked by 1st- time- preggers 1 in Pets ➔ Dogs
its going to be tough going. i had the same thing with my husband and our dogs (he was the one that wanted the dogs in the first place) but when he saw how attached to them i was he got jealous ( i say) he says no but he always acted awful to them. finally i gave up and left him act his own way, didnt get rid of the dogs though as like you said they became part of the family and i loved them something awful. good luck and hang in there
2006-12-09 03:15:02 · answer #1 · answered by gypsy 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What has me concerned about what you said is that you "do not agree with his practices, [you] find them HARSH AND UNNECCESSARY"
It sounds to me like you are worried about more than him having the sort of dog he wants. I am sure he also knew that you had your dog before he married you and I would bet he was nice to you then. He sounds inconsiderate of you. If he is harsh with the dog, he may be the same way with the child.
While it is true that Pit Bulls are very sweet dogs with children, and ideally any dog should be temperament tested to assess their suitability for being around children, even though I have a Pittie and absolutely trust her around children, the way this man sounds like he regards dogs, I don't know that I would be able to trust him or the dog, any dog he has, around children.
I'd suggest some marriage counseling asap because whether you keep your dog or not, if something doesn't change you will likely be very unhappy in your marriage.
I can't imagine being pregant and asking the husband to help and having to go through his "fits".
Get help. You may be able to work things out, but if not, you may need help to get out of the relationship safely. If your own safety is an issue, call a local Women's Center for support.
2006-12-09 03:21:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Try to work it out with him. Find out why he hates the dog. If it is because the dog is not well behaved maybe compromise and take the dog to obedience classes. You will not force him to like the dog, that as to come on its own. No matter how you try it will not owrk you may only force him to resent the dog more. You could always let him get his own dog if he helps you with yours, it unfair to have a one way street. By the way not all pit bulls are bad dogs. There are only bad owners. We have one and he would not hurt a soul he is the biggest baby alive and yet we have had other breeds that were very unpredictable.
2006-12-09 06:13:20 · answer #3 · answered by TritanBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! I feel bad for you. Be grateful that this is happening now. This may be an indication of how you may have different parenting styles as well. This is something which you must discuss and get out in the open now. Once that baby arrives, you will not have the time, patience or energy to talk about your feelings or difference in rasing dogs or kids. If you have fundamental differences, it will breed resentment and anger. This will erode your marriage quicker than anything. Trust me, if you are annoyed that he won't clean up dog vomit ... you will be really pissed when he refuses to get up at three in the morning to feed and change a baby.
It may be worth talking to a counselor. How long have you known your husband? There may be some things you need to reach understandings about before they become toxic issues.
As for Jacks and babies .... have no worries. I have one pure bred and two mixes. One thing I can tell you about this breed is that they are very protective of children. Sweetie has attached herself to our youngest and would protect her from a mountain lion. They are gentle and loving. They respect their place in the pack and do not resent children being placed above them. One warning ... if your chews anything like mine does, you may be replacing lots of small childrens toys. (Little People, Littlest Pet Shop Pets ... crayons .... )
Again, consider counseling and have a sit down with your hubby. I'll say a prayer for you. Having children in stressful enough, this is just one more thing that you do not need to add stress into your life. DO NOT GIVE UP THAT DOG. It will all work out. Remember, dogs can give you one thing that husbands can't .... unconditional love.
2006-12-09 03:19:50 · answer #4 · answered by Army family. 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well that is a big choice, I have had clients over the years get rid of their cats because their girl friend or fiance was allergic but out right behavior should have been something to take into consideration before you got married. Since your husband likes pit bulls maybe you should educate yourself more on them, they are not vicious monsters your husbands training methods may be stricter becasue he is more experienced with high prey dogs like pits, and wether you like his methods or not they can be practical for the breed, treating your dog like your child usually gives the dog a false sense of alpha status, letting him walk all over you.
Read this before you decide to go head to head with a pit bull owner, this is something your husband should have educated you on though.
http://www.badrap.org/rescue/myths.cfm
2006-12-09 03:33:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off all, Pit Bulls are sweet dogs. They have a bad reputation for many reasons. One is obviously because there are some people who train them to fight. Another if that they are a very common breed in the United States. Of course you hear a lot of cases involving them... There are hundreds of thousands of them living here! Common sense really.
Our Pit Bull Bubba was very good with my sister in laws baby and any strangers. But we babied and spoiled him. He was family.
But as for your problem. My boyfriend does the same thing with my cat. He hates when he meows, or tries to initiate play, or using the litter box...
Some men are just babies when it comes to animals. They hate having to compete for attention, and so does the animal.
If he really hates walking the dog, try trading off chores. You can do something easier for you in your pregnant state, like that dishes or vacuuming. And he can walk the dog.
You can't force him to like it....
2006-12-09 03:14:17 · answer #6 · answered by ljn331 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not trying to sound like "Dr. Phil" here, but if you're really attached to your dog, then the dog's behavior, your man's opinions of it, and how to treat/train pets should have been something you both talked about and agreed upon BEFORE you got married.
If you're refusing to give up the dog, and your husband is refusing to accept the dog, there is no "mediation" you can do; you're both entrenched in your opinions.
Both of you need to give in a little and find a middle-ground you're comfortable with. If you're unable to do that, you either need to give up the dog or give up your husband. Forcing them to live together only puts unnecessary stress on them (and you)...
2006-12-09 03:10:23 · answer #7 · answered by Fetch 11 Humane Society 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
not much you can do really.. I have the same problem with my husband not liking the cats I had before I met him.. its harder to bond with a pet you didnt pick.. this is one of the reasons they say you should never give a pet as a gift..
your husband didnt pick that dog (if a previous boyfriend gave it to you then he probably resents the dog because of what it stands for) he doesnt like that breed and lets face it JRT are hyper dogs..
I would try to improve the dogs manners by taking it to Obedience lessons... you are pregnant - thats no excuse for not keeping up with the dog...if being pregnant was such a burden you wouldnt have got pregnant...
why is your dog vomitting?? is it ill or on crappy food??
2006-12-09 03:10:25 · answer #8 · answered by CF_ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This guy sounds like bad news. If it were me, I'd be finding a way to get out of the relationship. If he's cruel to dogs, how is he going to be with you and the baby later on? I hate to say it, but I don't see a zebra changing his stripes. You can't change him or fix the relationship with him and your dog.
2006-12-09 03:13:31 · answer #9 · answered by Scoots 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My husband is jealous of my jack russell too. Must be a guy thing! Help your husband that your baby will run around, get sick and vomit on the floor too! :)
2006-12-09 03:08:46 · answer #10 · answered by SouthernGirl 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋