ive been seeing this guy for about 10 months. when we first started seeing each other it was sexual purposes only because he has a girlfriend. now 10 months later im starting to fall madly in love with guy. i just posted a question about soulmates because i think this guy might be my soulmate. any ways he recently told me that he is starting to become very attached to me. one of the rule in the beginning which we both agreed to was to never get attached. lately hes been asking me to go out and do things with him that only couples do and hes been calling me just to say hello. its even gotten to the point where he leaves his girlfriends house to come home and call me just to talk to me. do you think he is falling for me? and how will i be able to tell? do you think i should tell him i feel or will it scare him away? please men i need your help!!! i need to know what you think i should do. thanks
2006-12-09 02:43:04 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
All I have to say is, don't worry about whether or not he is falling for you. THINK ABOUT THIS. He cheated on his girlfriend, what is going to keep him from cheating on you?
I know, you are going to say "this is different, he loves me more than his girlfriend. He is too good for her, but he REALLY loves me"
Every woman who has ever dated a not-single guy has tried this argument, and 95% of the time they get their hearts broken. One day, he will cheat on you, and tell his new girlfriend the same things he told you.
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
2006-12-09 02:45:16 · answer #1 · answered by i hate hippies but love my Jesus 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be careful lady... i think he is doing all this (calling you and leaving the girlfriend alone etc) coz you are the other woman at the moment... once you become the girlfriend - he might do the same for either his current girlfriend or a new other woman... i said he might...
there is a small chance that he is really gotten attached to you and is planning to dump the gf... will you be OK with it... will he be OK with it... are u sure tomorrow you both will not feel guilty about it... i am sure he will...even if he does not tell you...
as you said you guys had agreed that you will not get attached... that means he was serious with his gf and was still having sex with you... that means when he is comitted to you, he will still have sex with some one else... R U OK with it?? answer those questions for yourself... if you feel there are issues, then i would suggest that just enjoy what ever you have right now... dont be a fool to get attached and spoil everything... if you started such a confused relationship then be ready to bear the brunt of it as well.. know for sure that tomorrow the heart is going to be broken and you will be left alone... in this triangle atleast one heart is sure to be broken... more chances are that it will be YOURS in any case... the guy is also going to lose some sleep over it - as he is attached to you both...
so my suggestion is that try to keep it the way it is... you seem to be a strong woman to agree to such a relation in the first place... so just be ready to move on once he has gone....
and yes, dont get into a discussion about it with him yet... you might really scare him away... he has screwed it up... let him make his own decision....
2006-12-09 03:04:12 · answer #2 · answered by HavingFun!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll know if he really wants to be with you and cares about you and is falling in love with you when and/or if he leaves his girlfriend. Anything less and you are still his backup girl, no matter what you two might do together or words you might exchange with each other.
That might sound like an answer a woman might give you, but believe me, it's true. I've seen enough women go through this with guys and I've seen guys that I've known be this way with women. I've never been able to be with two women at once, myself, and couldn't really understand why a man or woman, if they couldn't fully commit to a relationship where they are just with that one person, why they just didn't end the relationship instead of being with another that they supposedly "loved" on the side. It seemed rather cruel to the two people they were with.
2006-12-09 02:56:02 · answer #3 · answered by marklemoore 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the first thing you need to do is sit down with Mr. Soulmate and have a talk.
"Where are we going?"
"Why are you with her if you want me so much?"
I bet the answers to those two questions will lead you to further ones which require exploration.
BTW, when the Other Woman becomes the Significant Other...she's creating a vacancy for her new replacement.
2006-12-09 02:46:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"**** buddys always end up being in love" - not my words jus heard em from some1.
this guy totally has the hots 4 u, probably loves u (bt we dunt no wts goin thru his head so cnt say 4 sure) but ask him hw he feels n he'll tell u honestly. but remember while u 2 r falling 4 each other he still has a g.f , so jus b careful cos girls who think theyre losing there guy ova another chic dont take it lightly n theyl put up a fight.
(sory not trying 2 scare u just telling u how it is in life )
peace. out
hope this story has a happy ending!
2006-12-09 02:50:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's with another girl and HAS been for the last 10 months, then you AND him are both in the wrong and should get punished for it.
Leave him and his girlfriend alone. You should have not done anything at all.
This is what is wrong with the world today, it's girls like you making husbands/ guys cheat on their wife/ girlfriend.
2006-12-09 02:46:48 · answer #6 · answered by Cold Fart 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are a fool, he will be cheating on you with her and other women as soon as he thinks he has you. And you deserve whatever you get. What makes you think you are so special, grow up. Childish ignorance is never an excuse, you will always be the other women. And obviously this is what you think you deserve. He obviously finds pleasure in cheating and women like you are a dime a dozen, low self esteem and needy, always willing to be the other women in hopes that one day he will realize your the one. Good luck, you need some counseling, Grow a self esteem. God bless****
2006-12-09 02:48:04 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry - I've got an entirely DIFFERENT take on this.
You said... You were seeing each other for SEX, because he had a GIRLFRIEND?
Ummmm What was the Girlfriend's role again?
I think he's a PLAYAH - I'd proceed very carefully.
I guess I'm OLD SCHOOL - but sex is something you use to relate to a partner... not as a recreational sport.
2006-12-09 02:47:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He has fallen for you. He has now seen that there is more to your relationship than the sex at the start and wants to take it further. Sounds like he connects better with you than his gf. I think he is trying to drop hints about his attraction to you without stating it because of your initial agreement. You should talk to him and tell him that you want to know how he really feels about you and your relationship and tell him how you feel.
2006-12-09 02:50:13 · answer #9 · answered by ICARRYABIGSTICK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know-no girls but....what were you thinking? Having friends with benefits is one thing-but a guy that is already taken? You need to muster up what little dignity and self respect you have left and end this. I have to say you set yourself up on this one-he got you good.
I think you didnt want girls to read because we can really see whats going on and you probably already know the right decision yourself.
you know he would do the same exact thing to you if you were his girlfriend.
It's like you keep sticking your hand in the fire and getting burned and thinking '..hmmmmm....maybe if i do it one more time it wont hurt.....'
2006-12-09 03:06:32 · answer #10 · answered by Kris W 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋