im not sure what to do, im a 19yr old white male. and theres this black girl that i been talking with as friends for the last 7 months. she told me she wants to take it to the next level, im fine with that , but the problem is with my friends. as long as this girl and i kinda hang out with the rest of them, their ok with it. but the majority of them have already told me it wouldn't be cool to take it further with her. and it's not because they don't like her because they do, but because she doesn't fit the "profile" of the girlfriend they think i should be with as some of them said. shes a really sweet girl and comes from a upper middle class family like the rest of us, i don't see what the problem is? im starting to think it's because she's black. and i don't want to think that about my friends. i like this girl, but my friends are my everything and i don't want to lose them or make them uncomfortable.
2006-12-09 02:06:55 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
make up your own mind. your friends won't be the one dating her and skin colour has nothing to do with the way you feel. you never know until you try whether she is the one for you. i don't care if a woman is purple, if there is something there i would go for it and see what happens.
2006-12-09 02:21:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out with her. If your friends are truly your friends, they won't leave you just because you date someone they don't like. (It's a little strange that they would even try to tell you who to date... friends should do that if the person one of their friends is dating could hurt them, but if that's not the case, I wonder why they're being so judgemental...) Maybe they'll discover that there's more to a person than just her skin.
And I know that interracial relationships can work... why wouldn't they? We're all human... I'm not in one, personally, and my family isn't one, but my aunt married a black man, and now he's just as much a member of the family as anyone else. I really don't see why just the fact that someone's of a different race is even a consideration for most people...
2006-12-09 02:17:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you don't want to hear this but these are not your friends if they want to control who you have a relationship with.I had alot of friends growing up too and they were my whole life back then.I couldnt imagine life without them as I am sure you cannot.A true friend will stand by you no matter what your decision.When I made the decision to stop using drugs,I lost 99% of my so-called friends.Some were even mad at me for it.I made new friends,and made a new life.I am not saying abandon them because at your age friends are very important but try talking with them.Tell them how you feel about this girl.The ones who are your real friends will stick by you.The rest you dont need!!!If you care about this girl(and it sounds like you do)then you should try taking it to the next level.You may regret it if you dont.And trust me nothing hurts more than regret for what may have been.GOOD LUCK KID!!!
2006-12-09 02:18:51 · answer #3 · answered by Mr Bellows 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friends are everything to you? Really? Even if you run into one who could be your veritable soul-mate, a once-in-a-lifetime possibility?
How does it work with your friends? Do you guys like take poles and make a consensus out of all your personal needs, including wife, children etc?
My advice is, grow a set, and live your own life. Would your friends accept responsibility if they advised you to be with another girl, who ends up giving you something like HIV?
This could be a good test to see if those friends of yours are truly friends - you know - the kind that stick together, non-judgemental, and help each other in any event.
Take the girl, and drop the sneering bums.
2006-12-09 02:16:38 · answer #4 · answered by curly bob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally wouldnt date someone with whom I have no common background, not that im really any more racist than most other people but that it just seems like more trouble than its worth, it would be the same as dating a muslim, or a born again christian. On second thought, dating would probably be fine, i might even learn a thing or two, and im not racist or fool enough to pass up some hot foreign chick, and im not enough of a sheep to care what my ignorant jealous friends might say. marrying would probably be out of the question though.
2006-12-09 02:11:38 · answer #5 · answered by tomhale138 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough one there. Me? I'm against white men and black women and black men and white women. I'm against it for one reason and one reason only. I feel like the white men are lowering themselves when they have to date outside thier race, and the same with the white women dating black men. They think that they can't find someone interested in them enough, of their own race. Too low of a self esteem. Not that I dislike black people, because I don't. Some of my best friends are black. I just think each race should stick to it's own as far as a serious relationship is concerned. But having sex with someone, occasionally of another nationality? It's just passion. There are some really attractive women of other nationalities that I wouldn't kick out of the bed, unless I wanted to do it on the floor! Serious relationship though? I'm out!
2006-12-09 02:15:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that if your friends were really, truly your friends they would stick by you and your decisions. Don't let other people run your life, if you really like this girl then go for it. I think you should tell your friends that choosing between them and her isn't going to happen because you care for them both, and if they felt the same they'd accept your choice regardless of the girls race.
2006-12-09 16:18:15 · answer #7 · answered by LaLa N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur looking at color on a basis of whether u date someone, thought the world was beyond that by now. if u have feelings for her then go for it. if u really have friends they will accept it and still be friends otherwise they are superficial and u dont need em any way. this may be ur life partner? whos going to take care of u ur friends or ur woman in life. if u let ur friends decide for u then u will always be single as they will not want u to find happiness for ur life...come on its ur life live it!
2006-12-09 02:13:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is your view on interacial dating?
There are many challenges when two people of two different races have a relationship, marriage, and children.
Are you really to face society's views?
Are you prepare to deal with social issues, bi racial children?
If you are secure about yourself, and the other party is, nothing should matter who you have a relationship with.
What do you really want?
2006-12-09 02:11:13 · answer #9 · answered by No More Abuse 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all these days there ar alot of interacial dating, and some marriages. If you really like this girl then ask her out. who cares what others or your friends think. And if they stop talking to you because of it. sorry you don't need them, are you living for yourself or for your friends. I hope your living for yourself and do want makes you happy and not your friends, I hope i answer your question.
2006-12-09 02:12:16 · answer #10 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋