to make a long story short, im gettin married this january. i'm lucky that my gparents are paying a lot to let me and my to be husband have a nice wedding with reception on the water. Blah. So i asked my gpa to walk me down the aisle bc my dad was never there for me..he split whne i was 2 but lingered around from time to time..always tried to "keep intouch" but he did drugs in front of me, etc. i dont want him to walk me down the aisle bc i feel my gpa was more of my father figure and introduced me to God so to speak. Just wondering if that is mean of me. I'll always have respect for my dad cause he brought me here into the world. Just wondering what you think. Thanks!
2006-12-09 01:43:32 · 49 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think you trust, know and love your Grandfather, He was alwals their for you, he loves you, he raised you.
And well,"dad " was off "expanding his mind" trying to find out who he was or what he was supposed to do.
I know him very well in a manner of speaking.
Growing up in this day and age is never easy, i say this day and age I mean this world.
Your dad knows you love him and ther will always be a place in your heart for him.
I am sure he loves you too, and I do not think he should be offended by allowing or having your Grandpa be the one to walk you down the aisle, or "give you away". I think your Dad will understand.
2006-12-09 01:53:52 · answer #1 · answered by gemseeker 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have whoever you want to walk you down the aisle do it. Given they agree.
Personally, both my mother and my father are walking me down the aisle. I'd rather do it alone, but you know, they felt rejected and I can't be bothered to get into it with them because the wedding doesn't actually mean that much to me. I wanted to walk alone because a father or male family member walking a bride down the aisle only gives me images of a tribal leader dragging his unwilling daughter down the aisle to marry so that the leader can gain from selling his possession, her sex and her womb.
I decided that both my parents less like a trade off and more like a blessing, well not really that's what they insisted. So, I'll go for it because this whole wedding thing is a stunt for our families and not me or my lover. If it were up to me, there would be no wedding. We're already married *just not legally*. We'd just sign some papers at city hall.
So, the point is, do what you want. My opinion is that weddings are full of wretched traditions anyways, so breaking a few isn't a big deal and probably best for your own personal happiness, if that's the goal.
2006-12-09 02:40:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Its your wedding! If you want your gpa to walk you down the aisle its your choice. Just explain to your father. If your grandfather walking you down the aisle will make you happier, everyone should understand, this is supposed to be the most important day of your Life.
2006-12-09 01:50:37 · answer #3 · answered by sparrowlover33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that's a lovely idea. I'm sure you're Grandpa would be very honored to walk you down the aisle. What a great memory for the two of you! Especially since he and you have a better history together.
2006-12-09 02:53:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not mean, it's entirely appropriate! Keep your day special, bring into it those people that mean something to your life. Think about if you had your dad walk you down the aisle.... would you regret it later on? Think about both options - play them over in your head, think about the photographs of the wedding... If your dad did drugs in front of you in the past, would he be capable of doing something to mess up your wedding if he were a key figure in the wedding?
2006-12-09 01:49:08 · answer #5 · answered by rgdet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I honestly think you should Invite your biological dad! You should never go through life and hold grudges, I realize he hurt you, but you may hurt him by doing this. You should become your dad's idol by setting the standard. You said your grandparants have introduced you to God, well... you should introduce your dad to God. Bringing him to your wedding may give you a open door to change his life and save his life. Your gparents should understand! Real talk... have your dad walk you down the aisle, If he knows how I much you may dislike him, having him walk you would express how much you care about him and would have a deep impact on him. Please, take advantage of the opportunity! You never know when you will see your dad again!!!!!!Trust me!!!!!!!
2006-12-10 17:37:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is only right to have your gpa walk you down the aisle. I do not think it is mean at all. for my wedding i did not even think to ask my donor father to walk me down the aisle, I had the man that raised me walk me down. This was bc my mother had dated him for about 6 months and they met when i was 6 months old and even though they didn't make it or have anything to do with eachother after that , this wonderful man still raised my brother, sister,and myself and none of us were his real children.
2006-12-09 11:12:57 · answer #7 · answered by monalisa_505 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not mean at all. It's the facts. If your gpa was a more active part of your life than your dad, and your dad was in your life when it was convenient for HIM, go for your gpa walking you down. Your dad should understand, and if he doesn't, tough. If it's such a big deal to him, maybe he should have thought about that when he was an absent father. Your gpa will be honored, I'm sure. Go for it!
Good luck!
2006-12-09 07:28:48 · answer #8 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for you that your dad left when you were so young, but your Granddad filled in and did an excellent job.
I have a similar situation, except I am the step-dad to a girl whose natural father left when she was one. Out of respect for her dad, she asked him to walk her down the aisle.
My honest feelings were that it was her day, and I didn't want to do ANYTHING to spoil her day, but the truth is that I was hurt . . . afterall, I did the deal of raising her, and he only donated some sperm.
You kind, sweet, thoughtful girl, let your Grandfather walk you down the aisle - and have a WONDERFUL married life. Good luck to both of you!
2006-12-09 01:59:18 · answer #9 · answered by bper1951 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wholeheartedly agree. My husband and I got married in a county courthouse, but we're planning on having an actual wedding before too long. My father was never very fatherly toward me when I was growing up; he was really just the guy who lived with us. He barely spoke to my sister or me except to punish us. I have a friend whose kids I used to babysit for, and this friend was the guy I went to for fatherly advice and things like that. I plan on having him walk me down the aisle, or have my dad walk me partway down and then my friend take over, kind of symbolically showing that my dad dropped the ball and someone else took care of his fatherly duties.
2006-12-09 01:48:31 · answer #10 · answered by emilyumo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋