I'm catholic and my fiancee is a christian. I have problems figuring out how to go about a ceremony. How can we have a beautiful Wedding ceremony, while respecting both our families? This is, not having either a priest or a pastor/minister, but not just signing some papers on a desk. Something symbolic, but that does not compromise either of our backgrounds. I'm looking for helpful clues, and hints and ideas.
2006-12-09 01:29:35 · 14 answers · asked by Belleza A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My family in Mormon and my husband family is Jehoviahs Witness so we had the same problem at our wedding (Neither my husband nor I are of either faith although we were raised in the respective faiths... We have chosen to raise our children to respect everyones faith and learn about any faith that interests them)... We opted for a ceremony conducted by an Justice of the Peace at my sisters home.. We met with the JoP prior to the ceremony and discussed wording of the ceremony we made sure that all wording was nondenominational...
The JoP told us that this was an issue that came up quite often... The ceremony was both beautiful and meaningful without offending either families faith..
I suggest you contact a JoP in your area they have dealt with the issue before and can suggest wording to make the ceremony beautiful and wording that will be meaningful..
Opt for neutral ground for the ceremony (a park, a private home, a wedding hall) the ceremony can be beautiful and not just papers in a sterile office without offending either family and including everyone...
**** You and your fiance need to discuss in depth how you want to raise any possible children and come to a solid agreement prior to your wedding... Make sure your decision is clearly stated to each family and that each family fully understands it is your decision for your children so you don't run into tensions later...
2006-12-09 07:37:48 · answer #1 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Congratulations on the up coming wedding. You and your fiancee need to sit down and discuss what is important from each of your faiths that you want in the ceremony. You may just find out that what is most important to you is the same for him. This day is about the two of you and the start of your life together - and no matter how hard you try you will not make everyone happy with your decision - so do what is best for you and your fiancee. Most important have fun and do what you want as you only get to have this day once and then its over. Best wishes
2006-12-09 07:33:58 · answer #2 · answered by kkay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi and congrats on your wedding. Well, I don't think that you really will be able to make the two families happy if they are all people who practice their faith. My mother in law wanted us to do everything her way, I was even willing to get married in an Episcopal church even though I am more Pentecostal or non-denom. She still wasn't happy so we got married at the court house. I think that no matter how hard you try people will still think something was left out or not done right. I don't know what denomination your fiance is but there is a HUGE difference between catholics and baptists or Pentecostal types. If I were to be technical the bible says not to marry someone of a different faith but I'm sure you wouldn't go for that, lol. So, I would say just do it how ever you want and try to respect everyone. Have a beautiful day and good luck to you both! :)
2006-12-09 03:52:25 · answer #3 · answered by Dawn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Converting is not the answer (as someone suggested). You shouldn't have to give up your faith.
2. Get married at a Unitarian church or outside of the church altogether by a Justice of the Peace.
My fiancee are of two different faiths: he's catholic and I'm a spiritualist. We are planning to have a retro, 50's style wedding at a local restaurant and are having a ceremony by a justice of the peace.
While I appreciate his family's beliefs (my family isn't religious) this is my wedding too and I refuse to get married by converting to a faith I don't believe in.
This is a wedding between the two of you, so if you and your fiancee are happy having a justice of the peace perform it, then go for it.
The important thing is that you are happy with what you do; if you're happy, then your families should be too.
2006-12-09 03:08:30 · answer #4 · answered by Galoshes 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sit down with your fiance & discuss what you both need to have in your ceremony to make it special to each of you. Then go shopping for an officiant that will perform the ceremony for you.
Type into your search engine your city state & wedding officiant. You should have a few to choose from.
You can also look up interfaith officiants & some of us are registered on the bridal sites. If you find an officiant there that you think you would like, visit their web site. Some of those bridal sites make vendors & officiants pay for the information you give. So you may not hear back from some you had hoped.
2006-12-09 03:03:35 · answer #5 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to both your priest and your fiance's ministers as to their suggestions? They might be open to helping you guys reach a compromise or come up with ideas for the ceremony. Is there any way of havings vows or recitals, or do you want to not risk having a long ceremony?
Do you guys have a friend who is willing to conduct a ceremony? Maybe you guys can have friends read passages (perhaps your bridal party?) before you guys exchange the wedding vows.
2006-12-09 06:56:29 · answer #6 · answered by Evoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the Justice of the Peace and have it done legally for the two of you. Then, on another day, have your Wedding ceremony with someone of your choice. Because you are already married legally, this person will only be there for ceremonial purposes and does not have to hold any specific "title." It's just for show, so you can have them say anything you want and choose whoever you want. Congrats!!!!
2006-12-09 01:40:34 · answer #7 · answered by punchy333 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since catholics and christians are very similar, does it matter to you both that you have your exact denomination represented?
Presbyterian or Unitarian churches or ministers might be good options if you want to keep religion in the ceremony. Otherwise just go for a justice of the peace.
2006-12-09 04:14:37 · answer #8 · answered by nova_queen_28 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get one of your best friends or a close family memeber to get ordained over the internet and have them perform the ceromony. Make up your own vows, have something representing one faith and something else represeting the other. Maybe the representations can be along the lines of your personal favorite things about your faith. That way both of the families will be happy and because you did something that was your favorite that had to do with your faith it will be fun for you as well. Like take communion, boht religions have that, prey together both religions prey, things like that.
2006-12-09 01:35:06 · answer #9 · answered by Danielle 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have somebody from the city make someone you know be able to perform the ceremony themselves. You can create a bunch of your own symbolism, and not even have any of it be religious.
2006-12-09 01:37:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋