We suddenly lost my 3-month old nephew two days ago. My family is torn. His mother (my sister) and her husband are in no position to pay for a funeral. Is there a proper way to ask for donations to the family? A friend mentioned having a basket at the wake for envelopes and such. Any suggestions?
2006-12-09 01:18:43 · 12 answers · asked by SHERINA 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
If it was a known public incident, i.e. been in the papers or a tragic house fire,etc., very often a bank will volunteer to handle donation collection.
If it is not like that, I think the way to handle it is this: talk to the minister or funeral home director. Tell them the situation. Put in the obituary that instead of flowers please give gifts to such and such a church. Let the church collect the monies and then write the family a check for it.
If it is too late to change the obituary, let the minister make an announcement at the wake - and even at the funeral - and have a basket at the door.
but talk to the funeral director first!!!
god bless
2006-12-09 01:26:54 · answer #1 · answered by happy pilgrim 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have seen it done in the funeral anouncements where they ask that instead of flowers donations be given to help cover funeral costs and can be done so directly to the funeral parlour if the funeral parlour is trust worthy or an account can be set up at a bank so those who would wish to donate can direct deposit thier donation to the account. Your idea is also really good but the only problem is that people might not be prepared and have ready cash on them once they are there. I think it is really wonderful what you are trying to do because your sister must be going through the roughest time of her life right now and the last thing she needs or wants to think about is money and funeral costs. I really feel for her and all of you really . I dont know what I would of done if I would of lost one of my boys at that age. I hope she will be alright. I am sure she will with such a caring and helpful sister .
2006-12-09 02:34:39 · answer #2 · answered by hersheynrey 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for the departed. I think calling for the donation on the funeral day with a basket will be some how sudden, before the funeral, you do need some money. Why not try your religious leaders, friends and families, this way you have money at hand before the funeral, you may go for a loan, then the basket collection on the funeral date would help pay back the loan.
Hope this helps out anyway.
2006-12-09 01:42:12 · answer #3 · answered by Evar-ceako Onyeanusi 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Things will start to go fast after a person who passes away. As far as an envelope or basket at the wake, not everybody shows up to those events. My suggestion , which might not be the right one, would be to work with the family when making contact with the familes, let everyone know what is going on and financial assistance is needed.
Sorry for your family's loss
2006-12-09 02:42:56 · answer #4 · answered by Grandpa Shark 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you haven't posted an obituary yet, then you can state that donations can be made to assist the family at the bottom of the obituary. Ask the mortuary to maintain these donations, and they will also place a box at the door for monetary donations during a viewing.
Also, tactful word of mouth should be successful. Family members are more than likely aware of a young couples financial situation, and it could easily be discussed .
That said, I am so sorry for your families loss, and pray that God assist you through this troubled time.
2006-12-09 01:28:09 · answer #5 · answered by DeltaQueen 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First off I am extemely sorry for your loss. If you want to help raise money try to get in contact with those that you know that will be attending the funeral and informing them that there will be a basket at the funeral for donations. You could also do it more discretley and have them pass on the donations to you for you to give to your sister. It all depends on how "proud" your sister and brother-in-law are. Would they be offended by donations? If so, do it discretley.
2006-12-09 01:26:06 · answer #6 · answered by areed013076 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
this may well be a clean one on me. purely while i assumed I even have considered all of it..... yet, giving funds isn't person-friendly. possibly, all of you have a very good reason. they are unfavorable and could't arise with the money for? No funds? You all prefer to pitch in to help? Then, good day, this may well be a very good gesture on your area. yet, of all the funerals I even have attended, I on no account did. plant existence have been ideal. in case you could or prefer to grant funds, first verify how a lot of you prefer to try this. Funeral fee can selection, everywhere from $5K to $20K - consistent with how deeply you/they like to tutor your/their love for the departed. So, take off 50% of the funeral cost. Divide something by using the variety of people who prefer to pitch in. Why 50%? that's because of the fact which you do not prefer to bear the completed fee do you? Or, do you prefer to - i don't understand. If sure, pass one hundred%. What you're doing is incredibly superb and considerate. yet like I mentioned - that is not that person-friendly to grant funds on the funeral. How do you provide it? discreetly. very secretively. placed all of it in an envelope (pass it around - others choose not understand how lots each and each is surely putting in) and supply it to the grieving celebration. If the grievers can arise with the money for, no funds could take transport of. plant existence will do.
2016-10-18 00:36:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask the church to set up a special donation box on Sunday for the babie's funeral expenses.
2006-12-09 01:21:07 · answer #8 · answered by WHITE TRASH ARMENIAN 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The basket at the wake is a good idea. I would still speak to the other family members to see what everyone could pull together for them. I am so sorry to hear about your families loss. May God bless you all!!
2006-12-09 22:23:55 · answer #9 · answered by tamara.knsley@sbcglobal.net 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
be up front about the need for donations, if you don't ask people may think everything is taken care of.
Funerals~ this is where so many people get taken for a ride $$$$ its because it happens so fast and of course you want the best. be smart and shop for the proper needs for the family..
my daughter died after Cancer and we spent about $1200 and gave her a funeral that was so awesome.
2006-12-09 01:32:28 · answer #10 · answered by Russ 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋