i came in contact with a guy through phone. he got my number by co.incidence.i was in contact with him for more than 6mnths. i realised that what i was doing was wrong coz he started feeling for me n he even proposed to me .but i refused coz i kno that i will never get him coz he belonged to different caste. i started neglecting him and i made him clear that he should stop calling me..problem is that iam not able to forget him....is this love.....this is first time for me.....iam literally confused
2006-12-09 00:30:55 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i have never seen him......he had told me that he will ask for me with my parents once i finish my studies.....but i refused to coz i kno it will never work out....i dont want to hurt my parents .
2006-12-09 00:46:33 · update #1
u kno what friends iam really thankfull to each n eveyone who hav answered my question......n i cud not wait long to thank u all......thank u very very much....i will really think over it
2006-12-09 01:41:14 · update #2
I am not familiar with the caste system. All I know it that is a must to maintain stability in certain societies. And that's basic.
However, I do know this: if you profane the system, people will hate both of you and the result would be a hellish life; you cannot change this. I want you to understand, it is rare for me and it hurts me to discourage a romantic relationship. However, I assure you, I am not confused. "What's love got to do with it?" is the overriding theme in your situation.
You marry this man, and you will bring sorrow to your family and his, and anyone who you're close to. Maybe you would even put yourself or him in danger, as well. Move on, you probably have to. I'm sorry.
2006-12-09 00:58:00 · answer #1 · answered by Lightbringer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to assume that you both knew that this was impossible because you belong to different castes, and that you can't break out of this system. It's perfectly natural to want someone that you can be emotionally close to, but if someone appropriate isn't available you will direct these feelings at whoever is safe. I know a divorced woman who has feelings for priests. She wants to have these feelings and doesn't have anyone; priests are safe and they aren't available. If someone like that goes to a psychiatrist, she'll fall in love with the psychiatrist. It's called
TRANSFERENCE. A psychiatrist would find this useful because it helps her get in touch with her feelings of wanting someone to love.
In your case, it was someone on the other end of a telephone line. That's about as safe as you can get. Is that love? Well, the feeling is real. But if you know it isn't possible, then the object of your feeling will never give you any satisfaction. Worse, you know so little about him that you can idealize him, and he can idealize you. You used each other as an outlet for these very real feelings, and then you both feel the loss when you aren't available to each other. You've let the feelings grow and they're very real, but the situation is very UNrealistic. You really don't know anything about each other. Even if there were no caste barriers and you were able to meet, you both might find that the real people you've been directing those feelings at weren't what you wanted.
You're confused because you had real feelings that you want to have for someone who was so unavailable to you that he may as well have been imaginary. Now you have a real feeling of loss, which is painful. These are new feelings to you, and you have to get used to dealing with them. You won't forget him, you won't forget the feelings you had. But in time, you'll find someone real who can return those feelings.
2006-12-09 01:24:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Opposites do attract !
1. You must be very sentimental and feeling sorry for the guy cause you know that your decision has hurt his feelings.
2. May be you have got accustomed to his calls. It's always a bit difficult for us to stop doing something we are accustomed to and you have been in contact with this guy for more then 6 months as you say it.
However, In either cases you definitely harbour some feelings for the guy whether it is love, I think you are the best person to answer your own question. But, I guess you made the right decision by turning him down, cause it's always safe to meet a guy in person before you decide to choose him as your life partner.
2006-12-09 01:56:50 · answer #3 · answered by Goutam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with some of the answers left on here by the people before me.
You like him. Not love him. There's a difference. Think about it. You've never seen his picture. So you have absolutely no clue on how he looks like. Do you know how old he is? What's he really like in person, etc. And um...a different caste? Wow! That's....wow! I mean....I know that the level of caste doesn't matter to us younger generation....but it matters (A LOT) to the parents. I'm not speaking out of experience...but I am Laotian and my parents...kind of set the standards on what TYPE of guy I should date....so I know where that kind of enters the picture.
2006-12-09 05:12:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Want a name for it? It’s called “PUPPY LOVE” Nida, believe me this is something you DON’T NEED IN YOUR LIFE AT ALL. He maybe the best person in the world but this is just not the right time. “Puppy love can spell disaster especially since you are still studying. Say ‘NO’ and mean ‘NO.’ Get involved with your friends, your family and most of all your studies. Do whatever it takes but don’t take this any further.
2006-12-09 01:36:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is curiosity. You are young and your mind lacks maturity to decide what is wrong and right. Dont try to prolong this habit for a long time. Leave it and tell the other person. Otherwise, make an appointment, meet him, freely chat with him and decide whether to continue your friendship or not
2006-12-09 02:36:26 · answer #6 · answered by gauri s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get confused n stay away from him for a while n feel the situation n try to fill that time with some positive activities n see if u still feel him then it is love other wise not.
2006-12-09 00:44:27 · answer #7 · answered by babbu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems you are still young to be getting serious about this stuff. Relax and have sometime with yourself first. Perhaps you will learn about your true feelings eventually. Follow your heart about being a good and obedient daughter. You have all the time to wait for Mr. Right.
2006-12-09 01:50:23 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think that its love. I think its just an attraction as u were in contact with him for a long time(6 months). I think that ur going on a right track dont hurt ur parents & just ignore him.
2006-12-09 01:50:23 · answer #9 · answered by nutan_nutty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ignore the crap answers u got except bob, raman k n john f.. this is nt the movies, gud memory is nt love. also u mentioned abt the caste prob. y do u wanna fight odds? hang out wid ur girl friends, hav fun.. u'll get ovr him. since u hav nvr met him, ther is no face to remembr
2006-12-09 01:01:20 · answer #10 · answered by a_a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋