Help writing a eulogy. Please help?

Question

My mother-in-law has had Alzheimers for about 7 years and she is now very ill and we don't expect her to make it through the night. My husand asked me to write a eulogy. So I wrote one that I thought was great, but apparently not! They are not a touchy feely family, they are always there for each other but there is no "I love yous" or tactile emotions.
So after my first attempt which my husband hated, he has suggested that I write one from our kids. I have a 17 year old step daughter who "nanna" doted on. And 4 and 6 year old boys who have never known nanna completely well. So i wrote a Eulogy using the letters "why we love you nannna". For EG When you took us too feed the ducks. But I hate it. Surely she deserves more. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

Begin by telling the kind of person she was. Her qualities and even some of the bad ones too. Try to make it sound like a joke (respectfully). Remember some occasion when she did something so nice, so touching, her cooking abilities, her character, things like that.

Answer 2

1. Gather your material
First, collect the biographical facts: age, marriage dates, places lived, children, and so on. Now think about the stories you remember, or the turn of phrase or typical behavior that captures your loved one's character so well. Talk with other survivors, so the picture you present will include their ideas as well.

2. Come up with a theme
A theme gives unity to the eulogy, helping your listeners to see the rich patterns of this life. For example, let's say you are giving the eulogy for your late mother. As your theme, you decide to talk about your mother's ability to make a home wherever she hung her hat.

Using this theme, you describe herchildhood, ,A young bride, and then how she made a warm and welcoming home in every place she lived ,how she loved her children and grand children

3. Organize the material
Write your notes in point form on sheets of paper or on 3x5 file cards - one idea to a card. Now group the cards into piles of similar topics. Then sort each pile of cards into a logical order.

4. Draft your speech
Write out the first draft. (If you have access to a computer, use it to make your editing job easier.) Use linking sentences to make each topic flow easily into the next. Pay most attention to your beginning and ending.

As you write and polish, keep the words "celebration" and "thanksgiving" in your mind. If it is appropriate, include a few moments of humor or lightheartedness.

5. Practice your delivery
If you are not used to speaking in public, borrow a book on this topic from the library and quickly skim it to pick up some tips. Read the speech into a tape recorder and then play it back. You'll be able to polish some more. Now stand in front of a mirror and imagine you are talking to your audience.

Above all, remember to breathe. If you are afraid you might break down while reading the eulogy, ask someone ahead of time to be ready to take over at a signal from you. Just knowing you have a backup speaker will probably be all you need to stay calm.

Answer 3

My first reaction is if your husband didn't like your first eulogy, let him write his own damn thing! That's pretty cheesy of him. All I can suggest is be open, honest, and let the feelings get put down on paper--and let him do his own--same for the kids.