My 9 year old son is becoming a spoilt brat?

Question

I accept that some of it is my doing but before the rot sets in I want to stop his bratty ways.
For instance this morning I asked him to help me tidy the living room up he threw a fit called me fat and ran upstairs.
This afternoon I am going Christmas shopping for him would it be too evil to buy him a certificate stating he has bought a cow for some poor family in a third world country?
Would this teach him a lesson or make him worse I just want to show him that his behaviour has consequenses and we have tried most things

Answer 1

When I was your sons age my parents more often than not provided a lot of what I WANTED in addition to what I NEEDED. Well one time my brother and I were getting pretty out of hand in our sense of entitlement and my dad did something that I remember vividly till this day. He took me with him to donate clothes to a homeless shelter/mission downtown. We had always dontated every year old (clothing and what not), but this time he took us with him to drop it off and did a lot of explaining on the way there. That pretty much adjusted our attitude immediately to see how great we do have it. I wasn't sure what to make of it all but with my dads little talk it made sense to me at around the same age as your son. It ended up being a pretty memorable life lesson

Answer 2

Sometimes yelling at children doesn't really get threw to them. For instance when asking your son to help you tidy up perhaps instead of just asking him to do something and excepting him to listen right away, you could perhaps convince him that tidying will benefit him, perhaps setting a weekly allowance. Setting chores for example tidying his room, putting his toys away etc. for exchange perhaps 5pounds a week or a chocolate bar. This way he has something to look forward too, this will also teach him if he doesn't do as he is asked then he will not receive his treat at the end of the week.
Also about what to get him for Christmas, at the age of 9 he could still believe in Santa, perhaps you could warn him that if he isn't a good boy, Santa wont bring him what he wants. You could maybe give him something non materialistic for Christmas, this could be a way to show him that Christmas isn't always just about receiving nice toys etc. perhaps buy a large picture frame and make a collage of photos of him and his family. Or a little bit of money and explain to him that the money should be saved so he can buy something is wants when he has saved enough money.

Answer 3

Kids are kids. My 8 year old lad can be an angel and the devil incarnate next minute!! Grounding my Sam from various things (take away his PS2, DVD's etc) normally has the desired effect, but all kids are different I s'pose. A lot of the time, it is my demeanour that causes him to be naughty. i suffer from depression and get very stressed at the smallest of things. I then have a go at the kids for very little, which then makes them p****d off and makes them act irresponsibly as a sort of "S**w you Dad" reaction. Sit back and think if anything at home may be affecting the l'il chap. Kids will always be naughty to some extent, but we can affect the situation without realising it. It's not that we are bad parents, we are just parents in the real world. No blame, just circumstances. I also have an 11 year old daughter and the hormones are kicking in!! Good luck and I'm sure it will sort itself out.

Answer 4

spoiled means that the person has been given many luxuries with out having to earn them.
some one who does not have such luxuries or freedoms in the case of a child can not be spoiled.
see where i am going here.
remove all the luxuries he has. his bedroom should have in it a bed. a small desk. a table lamp. a bible. a dresser with one change of clothes that you have chossen. other then that the room should be bear.
the rest of the house should be as bear as his room for him .
the television no forget it no television. a simple fact here people of all ages can live with out a television .
no games that are electronic no baggy pants.
then let him adjust to that i mean let that be the way it is for about 7 weeks. then introduce chores. lots of chores at least one hours chores right after school then after supper another half hour of chores. followed by the boy sitting at the table with you.
the boy will then do his homework. you will sit watch and insure he completes the work. you will have to help teach some of the school work to him but that is what a parent does.
now along the way that boy will scream swear just appear like an evil being in your home. dont pay any attention to it .
most importantly do not ever not once ever blink when he says he will tell childrens aid or the police dont responde to that at all .
after about 3 or four mounths you can then allow the child to have some of the freedoms oh did i mention that the boy should be home right after school every day .
so after 3 . 4 months you allow the child to have short times out with his playmates . only when the activity is supervised then if he does well there you continure to increase his freedoms to the point that you are sure a boy of that age most often has,
one thing to keep in mind is that the video games and computers along with television are just a simple way to turn a generation of people into fat unfit people that will die early deaths.

Answer 5

Try the love and logic method. You could ignore her, or when she threatens to cry if you don't do what she says, say something along the lines of (say it sympathetically) ... "I'm sorry you want to cry, I sure hope you feel better afterwards." There are also words such as "bummer" or "that's too bad" when they are complaining or whining about something. With the dress either just remove it from her reach or if you are wearing it say something like "How are you going to pay for a new dress if you rip this one?" If you go to the love and logic website they may have a video or two that you could watch that would also give you some ideas. If you don't have time for that just remember to try to put the problem back onto her so that she is having to think rather than you. This doesn't mean get into an argument with her it just means to use words such that she is having to think of the answers or the solutions. Hope this helps and good luck.

Answer 6

I would do the following in such a case:

1. Listen to the child why he reacts like that. There must be a reason as children most often speak truth and do not conceal feelings. His body language would show off if he contradicting his words.
2. Put myself in his shoes and feel how I would have reacted
4. Correct myself so that I lead by example not by demanding or dictating terms, just because I am old enough to be a parent.
5. Accept him to be whatever he is, for now and correct him by showing why it matters to be good. I would hesitate to tell what happens if someone gets spoilt or bad. Rather I would tell what happened to those who were good.

Answer 7

I don't like the cow thing. Don't think he'd learn from that. If you want him to see what poverty is, bring him with you while you donate food to a soup kitchen, or some blankets or clothing to a shelter.

For his own behaviour,I think taking away some of his privileges is a good idea. No video games for a week. Or, ground him for a specified time for each insult.

If he has an allowance, or piggy bank, you can fine him $1 for each insult, as well as grounding him.

You have to be consistent, for this to work. No telling him one thing today and then changing it tomorrow. All that does is confuse a child.

Answer 8

I would actually have him help buy for a needy child to see what it is like for a child his age to go without. There are angel trees in hospitals and church's that have needy children to buy for. I would have him buy for that child. There are also volunteer services that are around some cities that he can participate with you and your family so that he can see how others live compared to how you live to make him more appreciative of what you have. I wouldn't necessarily not give him anything for Christmas. I would discipline him for his actions at the time he acts up. He is not to disrespect his own mother and he should be disciplined for it. My niece is that age and has some problems too. She acts out at kids younger than her. She needs counseling. She is starting to act out at her mother too. Make sure you let him know when he does something good and give him positive hugs etc too. Don't let him get away with the negative disrespectful actions. Sit down with him when he does and question him. Tell him he still has chores to do. Don't give him an allowance if he doesn't do them. Don't let him watch TV until they are done, something like that. Make sure you follow through. That way he knows you mean it. Best wishes to you.

Answer 9

Brats are made not born. They can be changed, but at this stage it will take a bit of work. My main suggestion is to be consistent. Have consistent expectations for his behavior. If those expectations are not met, then you are correct--there should be consequences. And you must be consistent in applying those consequences.

When he called you a name and refused to help you tidy up, what did you do? You don't say that you did anything. There should have been immediate consequences for being disrespectful and being defiant. So in addition to being consistent, make sure you apply consequences immediately following his misbehavior.

If consequences are consistent and immediate, his behavior will improve.

Answer 10

I believe that would be a great idea. But u have to also realize that everytime he misbehaves there has to be consequenses. Like something he likes to do taken away or something he wanted to do taken away.Otherwise doing the cow thing will just not work. You have to be consistent in his punishments otherwise he is just going to think your being mean.Consistency is the key here.Good luck