my sister went to a party and she met a guy and they were both drinking and he got her pretty wasted. and he ended up sleeping with her. so in other words he took advatage of the situation and her. its not ike he slept with her when she was passed out she was just drunk and agreed to do it. is this considered rape??? or just a jerk thing to do????
2006-12-08 19:39:19 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It isn't considered rape as she,in her state,agreed.She might be feeling quite down and depressed with the outcome but there is nothing she can do about it.He never got her drunk,she drank.In the future she should'nt leave her drinks unattended(the date rape drug situation) and try find her alcohol limit to avoid such furthur happenings.Jolt her self esteem and be there for her.Goodluck...
2006-12-08 20:10:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, get off the rape thing! I've known women who WERE raped and that question demeans what they went through. But if you really want to go down THAT road, how do you know she didn't rape him? This question pi ss es me off because the assumption underneath it all is that women are clean as the driven snow while men are dirty as turds when it comes to sex! You obviously have no idea how sexually aggressive women can be, even if they're sober. What else does she do for kicks? Does she torment dogs by poking them with sticks until they bite and then complain they're vicious and should be put down?
She was at a party, they were BOTH drinking--she admitted that. But then HE got HER drunk? Have you considered how incredibly stupid this makes YOU sound? I've seen how people act when they get drunk, and I've been embarrassed a couple of times by the way I acted when I had too much. But it was my choice and I can't blame anyone else. Trust me on this one--if you could have seen your sister's behavior at the time, you wouldn't have been proud of her.
If this is really a question about rape, then pay attention. When the situation is as ambiguous as this, the prosecutor would not even consider filing a case. If you think what I wrote above is harsh, it's nothing compared to what the defense would put her through. Is this because people are unsympathetic to a rape victim? No, it's because an accusation can destroy a man's life.
How old is your sister? Was she drinking legally? How often does she get drunk? Does she use any other drugs? Are you sure? How did she get home from this party? Did she get behind the wheel before she was totally sober? That's a crime, too.
If your sister isn't grown-up enough to accept the consequences of drinking, maybe she should take you along to parties as her designated babysitter.
2006-12-09 00:36:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds a very difficult situation, for your sister and no doubt yourself. You must feel angry and upset about it. Alcohol is a depressant, although we often drink it to be more sociable! Young people, especially, need to watch their alcohol intake, as when intoxicated we can all feel our inhibitions lessen and can then get into all sorts of situations that we wouldn't usually get into.
I'm wondering how old your sister is? Did you say? You said that she was conscious when the sex took place. It is a difficult one. It sounds like she may well have behaved differently if she had been sober? However you did say she agreed to do it? In that case, the choice was hers at the time.
I am also wondering if she took any precautions to protect herself against S.T.D's or pregnancy.. If she has had a check up and is clear on both counts then she really did have a lucky escape.
I'm wondering also, and I may be wrong here, if you are being over protective? It can be difficult to see our younger sisters becoming sexually active; but it is important for her to grow up too, and therefore make her own mistakes, that's life!!
I think she is lucky to have a caring brother, but you also need to be aware that it is her life and part of growing up is making her own mistakes. Just be there for her if she needs to talk it through.
2006-12-08 19:58:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately it is not considered rape as the sex was consensual.
But it is a pretty stupid thing for that guy to do, though depending on how much he had had to drink he might have thought it was all good at the time. If he was sober I would definitely say he was being a jerk and taking advantage of the situation.
Unfortunately to me it sounds like they were both pretty wasted and just made a silly descision. Keep in mind this is normally how a one night stand occurs. I know it is harder because it is your sister and you would naturally want to protect her, unfortunately we can't do it all the time though and we have to let them make mistakes on their own.
2006-12-08 19:45:31 · answer #4 · answered by yummy_mummy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You asked a good question, but you didn't give alot of information. Depending on what state your in and the way the law is written. How old was she? Is she the one complaining..so forth. In most states it would be considered rape, or some form of it. Alot of the statutes cover the rape clause, as a person being metally incompetent, intoxicated and of course the word "NO". The defendent would probably use the defense, she asked for it and was willing. But the intoxication, may be used against him, as part of the statute. As far as being a jerk...Yes he was. Its probably the only way he could get laid.
2006-12-08 19:51:18 · answer #5 · answered by hoosiernumber1daddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm the only way that could possibly be rape is if your sister is underaged in other words under 18...and I don't know if you would nessarily call the guy a jerk..she willing slept with him how is he to read minds? if she was unsure or something then thats a different story...I don't know the whole situation or your sisters age but it sounds like your just kind of being an over pertective brother. you sister should have said no if it' s something she didnt want to do.
2006-12-08 19:50:33 · answer #6 · answered by thereis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you never really know there are laws but with these high dollar attorney's you never know.My thought on that is that there are very bad people in this world and no matter what there are going to be bad things that happen I really don't know why people would put there self's in a situation that would allow that to happen. I am not saying that it is the persons fault for being drunk but by doing that you are increasing the chances of rap happening in that drunken situation
2006-12-08 19:45:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not a rape just a jerk thing to do and most guys are like this so ur sister should be a bit more careful if she doesn't wants to end up pregnant and not knowing the name of the father of the child
2006-12-08 19:43:22 · answer #8 · answered by tiya_ahuja 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes!!!!Rape is when your unable to consent.Because your sister was under the influence she was unable to consent.That boy took advantage of your sister.I'm not sure if he knew what he was doing or if he just thought that maybe that is what she wanted.Any guy who respects women would not have sex or try to have sex with a women who is obviously drunk.Tell your sister or even if your still unsure to call a rape crisis center its confidential and you/your sister can explain what happened and help her figure out what she wants to do from there.
2006-12-08 19:49:05 · answer #9 · answered by Oompa Loompa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whether he personifies a jerk or not its still solely her fault if she's the one who felt she came out as the victim...sure he could have been a gentlemen and said no but if his judgement was impaired as was hers why should all the blame be on him...after all the #1 excuse for people "unintentionally" sleeping together is alcohol. Next time she'll know not to get that wasted; or to bring along the cockblocking friend
2006-12-08 20:26:52 · answer #10 · answered by ElenaI 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋