am goig out with this guy who is black and if another guy even looks at me i get abusive which was flatttering but now am not "allowed" to continue with my course coz i shuldnt need to coz he has money am i wrong to want to make my own money is it because we are from different cultures?
2006-12-08 18:50:50 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
talk to the jerk. hear him out. make it clear, making your money is a part of you, its what makes you, you. if he can't deal with that than he doesnt deserve you and break up with him.
2006-12-08 18:53:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Possibly. If he is jealous and controlling, he's someone that you don't want to stay with, believe me! Race has nothing to do with it! Please don't put yourself in a position where he is the one to provide you with money, it can be a trap. What happens when he doesn't like the clothes you're buying, or the way you buy gifts for friends or family? As long as you can have money of your own and maintain your independence, he should respect that. You don't have to work full time, or even have to make a lot of money, but you need to make sure that you continue to be your own individual person. If you become dependent on him, he may eventually resent you or find you boring because you no longer have as many interesting things to talk about. Don't let him take away your self-worth. No man is worth that! Abuse is not to be tolerated in any form. It may seem like flattery, but believe me, it'a a form of control. Run as fast as you can.
2006-12-09 02:58:00 · answer #2 · answered by Kyra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a white male and from my point of view the man should provide the woman with shelter and money and any other necessities, but I believe that if the woman wants to make her own money she is not wrong in any form. It is her choice to make her own money and the man should not try to stop her unless she is recieving the money by some illegal mean. The man should take care of his woman in ANY and ALL ways, WITHOUT ABUSE, The woman can make decisions too. It's a 50/50 deal.
2006-12-09 02:58:49 · answer #3 · answered by sterlingscorpion11690 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
End this relationship now. Look for any website regarding domestic violence; there will be a list of warning signs. I bet you anything that you'll see at least half the signs in your relationship. Run now!! Find someone who respects your mind and your independence. You deserve better. Find a responsible black man who has his act together and isn't insecure and abusive. There are plenty out there. Stop looking for a guy who "flatters" with public displays of "macho" (if that's what you meant in your question). All he wants is to control you. Get out now.
2006-12-10 19:08:14 · answer #4 · answered by Tellin' U Da Truth! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats his color got anything to do with the fact that your going out with a dominative person?
Your bf is the way he is because of the way he has been brought up, the manners he's learned and the way you let him treat you.
Color has nothing to do with it! Im from an interacial relationship and completely different cultures but i dont blame his skin color with the little things my bf annoys me with or when we have an argument, it all comes down to who the person actually is.
Talk to your bf, tell him how you feel and what you expect from the relationship, he wont treat you better until you let him know he has to.
2006-12-09 03:06:34 · answer #5 · answered by cheekee_bum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may want to make the living as a lot of men do but will probably change after you two are married and want that extra money to buy a home, nicer car,nicer clothes etc. If you want a happy marriage, let him make the decision now and you will have a lot of decisions to make in the future. I dont believe it is because you two are are from different cultures.
2006-12-09 03:01:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a disaster waiting to happen,,, if he is abusive now don't think he wil change. He obviously is possessive you should run there is no happiness to be found in this relationship other than sex (believe me I know) The sex always clouds your true vision. I will keep you in prayer. Good luck
2006-12-09 02:54:45 · answer #7 · answered by Fabulous Divaness 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, yes, you are in an interracial relationship, and you need to get out of it. Not because it's interracial, that doesn't matter, but because he's abusing you. The abuse will escalate if you continue to allow it. Get out of this relationship. You deserve better.
2006-12-09 02:55:33 · answer #8 · answered by reff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen closely.
Leave him right now.
He is showing his dominance over you and it will only get worse. He is not treating you as an individual with feelings, goals and dreams of your own. This ccan only lead to misery.
Also, get back in school. Learn grammer and spelling. If you can into my office with that writing ...style...you would never be hired.
2006-12-09 02:56:46 · answer #9 · answered by cybrrgeek 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Black men are always abusive.
2006-12-09 03:08:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋