I bought my son the PS3...what message am i sending...?

Question

About 3wks ago me and my son got into a heated argument bc he wanted the ps3 and i couldnt afford it so he called me a failure and i got so mad that i slaped him and it drew blood.I feel so bad about hitting him tht i went out and got him the ps3(even though i cant afford it). hes very happy tht i got him it but what message am i sending to him?

Answer 1

Wow You are giving the message that you are an abusive parent. But most likely he already knows this first hand.

Slapping a child and drawing blood is inappropriate for any reason! Not to mentino against the law! You drew blood on YOUR child because he insulted YOUR Pride! . Instead of worrying about the PS3 you need to worry about your behavior!

I strongly suggest you get help. You are out of control. Spoiling that child by getting him a PS3? What does that matter the message you have given him by slapping him hard enough to DRAW BLOOD is a much worse message then a little spoiling!

Again I urge you to get help you have no business taking care of a child with your temper! You are out of control not your child!

Answer 2

I know how you feel. I hate it when my kids ask for something that I can't afford. I usually end up getting it though. I don't think you did anything wrong at all. A child looks at a gift like that as love from you. He doesn't have the mind set to look at it as a payoff because you slapped him. By the way I think he deserved that slap on the face. As long as you use an open hand you are within your rights to let him have it across the face. It's not against the law. I bet it's the last time you ever have to do that. When I was young I decided to call my mom a B#T#H and I'll never forget that hand coming at my face. She never had to do it again. It shocked me that she would do it, but I shouldn't have called her what I did. Good luck. :)

Answer 3

Don't listen to any of these haters here!

Your sending the message that your a hecka cool Dad & that you did'nt mean to slap him. Your son is happy now that he's got that PS3. Look at it this way.....the next time he ask for something expensive like this, weigh out the pro's & con's first. Think about how good he's been this whole year. Has his grades been good? has he been respecting you? helping out around the house a little? how does he deal with the responsibilities he's had lately? Also, he's in school ALL DAY while your at work ALL DAY. In some ways, your not the only one working hard to have a better life. This is one example of hard work he's put in (his dedication towards school, his responsibilities). You see, sometimes it's good to really think about whether he deserves it or not & not so much weigh it on the cost (since you bought it anyways remember?) Kids deserve something big every now & then for what they do & strive to learn while they are growing up....You will realize that your money has not really gone to waste on this PS3 but rather gone to your son who deserves a reward for his good work & efforts this past year 2006.

So, give yourself a pat on the back. You should be proud of your son. I know slapping him was out of anger but hitting does'nt really solve the problem....it's best to sit down & talk about it. Fix your family's communication. This will also teach him that calling you names is wrong. He will grow up to appreciate you & brag to his buddies in school about how proud he is to have a father like you. He will then carry his experiences with you on to his future, so when he's ready to become a father, he will already know what to teach his children (which will be your future grandchildren). Thank you for buying him that PS3, although it's expensive, he probably deserves it. It's the holidays now. Plus, you live ONCE.....so, let him enjoy some of the best things in life, because you never know, what if he does'nt make it to the future. You gotta think about these things.

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 4

Hey man I feel for you brother I am a father too, you should not have hit him in the face, on the *** yes but not the face. I think that "NO" you should not have got the game for him guilt or not. cause the message is "I can get what I want if iI make my dad mad enough to do something he will feel guilty for" watch out he will try to push over the edge again. if he does then the BUTT is where you go next and don't spare the rod or you spoil the child.

Answer 5

Kids these days are so lazy all they do is sit inside and play video games or stay on the computer or watch tv.Not only are you sending him a message that its ok to be lazy but you definately confirmed for him that all he has to do is throw a little fit and you will run out and obey his wishes if i were you i would go and unplug it and take it away and when he asks what you are doing tell him you have changed your mind about it and if he wants it back he will have to earn it,by raking leaves or cleaning the whole house for a period of time not just one time,or washing the car or all of those things.

Answer 6

Hmmm... As for the PlayStation 3.

You seem to show to your son that you indeed can afford a PlayStation 3, and that you use a physical gift as a compensation for an accident or incident that you cause.

Since you already bought it and gave it to him, it's his and you can't do anything to it.

Just say the truth to him:

- you thought you couldn't afford PlayStation 3

- you were upset at being called a failure

- in your temporary insanity, you accidentally attacked him

- after you accidentally attacked him, you felt bad about it

- in your effort to made up with him, you find out you actually could afford PlayStation 3, though now you gonna need to readjust your future budget

- tell him you gave the PlayStation 3 as an atonement of your mistake of accidentally attacked him



As for what happened before it.

Learn to control yourself.

Punishment should be given through wisdom. You didn't punish him, you accidentally attacked him.

And next time, if you indeed going to physically punish him, don't slap him, at least don't use your hand, instead use a newspaper or anything else.

After the punishment, take care of him with full of love.



As for what you should have done.

- If you can't afford it, you can't afford it.

- If you 'thought' you can't afford it, find ways on how to afford it.

- Kids should be punished, not slapped.

Answer 7

thats very sweet of you to buy your son something you can't afford. I cannot imagine how hurt you are for him calling you a failure. As much as your son enjoys the PS3 buying him the games and such will only cost you more money and put you in a deeper finacial problem. One method you can try is threatening to take it away if hey disobeys you and then you can return it or better yet sell it back on ebay or another is making him realize that after he gets this you will not buy him anything for the next few months ( that might not work.) goodluck.

Answer 8

That if he stomps his feet and cries long and loud enough you'll cave.

Next time, if you can't afford something as silly as a PS3 then don't buy it. Maybe you should have waited until the after Christmas sale to get one.

But he'll be pissed when he has to stick with the same games for a while. Oh well, that's his problem. Maybe him and his friends can borrow each others games. Don't spoil him.

Answer 9

first of all you should not have bought him one because you felt guilty for hitting him. that was a little excessive, but i to am a parent. If you can't afford you cant afford it. the message that you've sent is that now he knows what buttons to push to get what he wants. how will you handle it when he throws a hissy fit when he wants a car you can't afford? I would have told him to go work for it if he wants it that bad. Keep in mind that you DAD just spent your rent, mortgage, car payment, utility bill money for a game system because your son called you a failure cause he wanted something that he couldn't afford himself. I say he was right in the choice of words you did just fail him

Answer 10

Wow!!! your son is so controlling you. You have to take a stand. If you do not have the money then you do not have it. He needs to worry himself about school vs PS3. PS3 only here for the time being then 3 or 4 months later no one will talk much about.. The last time you check in the mirror you borught him into this world not him brought you... TAKE A STAND DAD.