Is this Christianity in a nutshell?

Question

An almighty God decided he was either bored or lonely so he creates a universe of immense size to house one small, third-rate planet where he can create beings whose purpose is to make him feel better by loving and adoring him.
Since God needed to be sure his created people would only love him because they chose to love him, he gave humans the free choice not to believe him. Unfortunately, the very first human chose to ignore this God, and this God got all pissed and put a curse on the little planet and all its future inhabitants. In fact, he even created a scenario where after the first human chose to disobey, all subsequent humans would be born automatically bound for hell unless they accepted God's bizarre get-out-of-hell-free option. Rather than simply give humans the option to die and no longer exist, this God decided he would forever burn the skin off of those who didn't choose to love and adore him.

Thus this God, in his infinite love, informed his created people that they need to either love and adore him or they'll go to the hell he created, which basically negates the idea of giving people free will. After all, most humans will make choices they would not otherwise make when someone is holding a gun to their head.

Of course, this God, knowing everything that will happen in the future, foresees that more than 95% of the people he creates (without asking us if we wanted to be created) will either not be well enough informed to get out of hell or will simply reject the idea of a need for Christian salvation. But the Christian God, knowing this in advance, still decided to create these humans even though he knew he'd end up torturing billions of them in an endless lake of fire, all so he could have a handful of the faithful to give him love and adoration.

Not yet satisfied, this God decides to create his get-out-of-hell-free card by killing his own creation or by killing his own son. First he has his followers kill and burn animals because he really got off smelling the burning blood. Then he turned his son into one of his creation so he could have him beaten and killed with his blood flowing everywhere. And to top it off, he also said that those who love and adore him should then either symbolically or literally eat the human flesh and drink the human blood of his son in order to fully love and adore this God.

This God really loves spilling blood and then making people drink it.

Finally, this God decided to tell his created people of this plan through a cryptic and hard to interpret set of books and then relied on his created people to join together to decide which of those books really came from this God and which ones did not. They couldn't do it based on evidence, however, so they just basically guessed. Because this God didn't decide to make it clear to all humans just how to get their get-out-of-hell-free card, this God allowed the obvious confusion to lead to thousands of different interpretations of this set of books, meaning many who think they have found God's get-out-of-hell-free card actually will still be tossed into the lake of fire by this loving God.

Oh, and to make it even worse, this God decides to be mute most of the time, and instead asks those who love and adore him to be his spokespeople, thus allowing all kinds of strange things to be said in his name.

Amen, and pass the plate.

Answer 1

Forgive me for being glib, but you call *that* a nutshell? That's more than most people are willing to read on this website. :)

I suppose that some Christians would view Christianity in this way. I would take issue with several points. For starters, God did not leave us with just the bible. God left us with the *church*. The Bible is a wonderful thing to have, but it's simply a tool we use to know the mind of God. God left us a church full of flesh and blood people that are supposed to be showing Christ's love to the world.

I don't blame you for being skeptical. The majority of Christianity portrayed in the mass media today shows the entire group to be ignorant, hateful, and often completely delusional about thinking that everything in the Bible *must* be true. It's ridiculous. I'm embarrassed by their behavior and I apologize to you for your trouble with it.

Answer 2

Hmmm...sounds like you think you've got it all figured out. After reading your "nutshell" story, I gotta wonder something. Why do YOU care? Sounds to me like the whole story bothers you a bit too much. Otherwise, why would you take up all this space? Yeah, I get it. You just wanna stir up the pot and get all "those religious nutcases" all in an uproar, right? Why bother, since the whole thing obviously doesn't matter to you? Why twist yourself in such a pretzel over something that annoys you so much? Do ya think that maybe it matters more than you're letting on? As the old saying goes, "the lady doth protest too much". No, I'm not calling you a lady...it's just a phrase that's quoted when someone is protesting a bit too much over something, seemingly not interested, but in reality, very interested. It's also obvious, to me at least, that you've been given the wrong impression about God, Jesus and the whole Gospel story. No one's forcing you to believe it, so why are you belittling it? If you don't really understand something, it's better just to leave it alone, not make fun of it. It shows the level of maturity you're operating on. I've studied with the Mormon's. Why would a Southern Baptist study with the Mormon's? Because I wanted to understand what they were teaching about their faith, and I didn't want to hear it second hand. After learning all I wanted to learn about their faith, I understood them better. Yet, you won't hear me belittle their faith, just because I'm still a Southern Baptist? I have a hard time understanding why you would put down my faith, when you don't really understand the WHOLE story. I'm a biker. There's this saying, regarding Harley-Davidson bikes. It' goes like this: "If I have to explain it, you wouldn't understand". Being a believer in Christ is something you have to experience. Looking in from the outside will not give you the answers you need. So, I'm not going to try to explain it, 'cause you are not ready to receive it, and have already rejected it. It's best just to leave things alone that you don't (or won't) understand. It deeply saddens me to see people write stuff like this, and I'm truly sorry you feel this way. <*)))><

Answer 3

Well not quite, you left quite a lot out. Looking at it from down here. Of course thats where we are. But the spirit side isn't in your account at all. You may be one that says, if i can't see it its not there. Do you ever read the national geographic? They did a long article about the changes prayer brings about in humans. But we must "pray" to recieve the good from it. They said its like we were born with this built in thing,, it responds to prayer. You might make a wonderful apostle because you have an inate caring for others. All it takes is to ask the Spirit of God, into your heart, He will tell,show, witness to you Jesus. And thats it. Go and save the ones you are worried about. Blessings on you.

Answer 4

If you reverse it you can see God in another light. First, if we must understand the nature of this something that we are talking about. Pure Holiness. Now we can apply a name to it. God. Now if a pure holiness God creates something, what attribute do you think he would want it to have? The attribute of Pure Holiness. Correct. Our nature is not pure holiness. That is why we don’t expect anything we write, say or do to be exactly perfect.
Inverse your comments about this “third rate planet” and we see just how great God’s love is for us in that he choose something so beautiful and something so vast to hover and surround something so small, something so delicate.
Next think about a relationship and how it is formed. First you don’t know the person—then you know the person. You begin to talk to the person. They begin to do things for you, you begin to do things for them and so on. Now inverse your comments about “making God feel better” and we see that God created us for the purposes of a relationship— not so he could get all the good feelings and leave us out in the cold.

Answer 5

No, that is perversity in a nutshell. A zombie by definition, is a dead person brought back to life without speech or free will. Jesus is a supernatural being who manifested human form, and was resurrected as part of the Holy Trinity, the Savior aspect of God. There goes the zombie and 'own father' definition as applicable to Jesus Christ. The communication with Jesus is not telepathic, it is tactile, sense orientated, and generally vocalized. There goes the telepathic implication. Jesus does not remove the evil spirit within you, you remove it with the help of Jesus (evil action resulting from the application of free will). The mainstay of the work is up to the individual however, not the supernatural. The tree of knowledge is symbolic as well as the fruit, Eve ate of the the fruit (the resulting action of temptation) of the tree of life/knowledge and was punished by this consequence (immediately made aware of her nakedness, struck from the Garden). There goes the telepathic and 'magical tree' implication. The snake aka a creature devoid of compassion, conscience or goodness, is symbolic of the internal and external workings of Lucifer. In sum, your entire premise is false, illogical, and neglects symbolism in total. It is only an attempt (and not a particularly successful one) to degrade those things that we have not the mentality nor ability to comprehend fully. Additionally, you inadvertently established a base for proof of and not the alternative. Reread your piece, and the resulting responses. God bless.

Answer 6

Yes, it is totally bizarre and could only be the actions of a humanity hating God.

Compared to an all-knowing supreme being, we are born pathetically retarded and with no chance of learning even a fraction of a percent of what it might take to even begin to comprehend that there might be something going on.

What kind of sh!thead bully supreme being goes around punishing and picking-on the little retarded punks it created itself? Man, that is some kind of mean and sadistic SOB. He is not getting the time of day from me and he can kiss my a** besides.

Answer 7

You know, I stumbled on a web site today, that was so confused and crazed, it was a Jewish convert to Christianity raving that all Jews must submit to ,I can't spell it, it was Hebrew for Messiah I believe, anyway- the garbage went on for probably 50 pages I don't want to know! I saw enough, saying the Rapture was a joke, then saying all of the Christian leaders and he names them and put's in pictures of them, that they should stay and be blessed and not go on the Rapture but preach to those who will be left behind, then he raves about the "left behind" series, then he goes on about aliens in chariots, and demons and the Anti Christ growing in a grave between Adam and Eve and going to come out, Oh man people really go looney tunes! He talks about the Torah, The Pharisees, Muslims and has everything all mixed up together like Darth Vader meets King Arthur on the Mt. of Olives and Jesus is in a spaceship!! You better stop now or you will wind up like him----- or maybe you are that web author!

Answer 8

OMG, i just can't believe that someone actually see these weird things the same way i do.
i think this story might possibly be a make believe story too.
what is up with devil sent down to humanity.
how could god send down to us Satan, which was a trouble maker in his government.
i mean if you look at it, it's like we've been played.
we live a miserable life, we go to hell (if really there is one).
if we live happy, we still go to hell.
beside, why would we even want to live to suffer?
it is so insane, isn't it?

Answer 9

No, actually, it's War and Peace 2006: Christian Edition. Wow, that was wordy!

I actually read an anthropological piece once that was written from the perspective of alien archaeologists. Their perceptions of God were based on the alien's archaeological data and interpretations recovered remaining scriptures. It was quite similar to your interpretation, actually. Spooky. . .

Answer 10

I'd say that's a fair summary of the world according to Christians. God really wants praise and worship. He's like an insecure child.