My ex and I broke up again. He wasn't treating me well at all. I don't know why I still feel like I love him. I know that he doesn't feel the same way. I want to get over him. I never really got over him the first time. That's why I went back immediately when he told me he missed me. I've tried everything before. Months didn't help much. We didn't date long to begin with but it was the fact that we knew eachother before we dated that gets me. I really feel like I would do anything for this too work out but he tells me I should leave him alone and I just need to relax. I've been upset lately about things and became way too clingy. Should I get over him or see how things are in a week and continue the never ending saga? And how do I ever get over him? It feels impossible.
2006-12-08 16:09:28 · 23 answers · asked by confused soul 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's okay to feel bad. It's perfectly normal to go through a period of grief after the end of a relationship. Embrace it. In fact, you should plan around it. Let yourself be alone, let yourself mope, and let yourself cry.
This is the time when everything you see or do reminds you of your ex: smells, TV shows, old gifts, photos, songs. While you go through this stage, it's important to lean on friends a little. Be honest about how you're feeling and let them know that you don't expect them to fix anything, you just need someone to be there for you. Odds are you'll probably have to do the same for them one day.
While it's important to give yourself time to mourn, it's equally important to have an end in sight. Mark a day (let's say after a week) on your calendar and do something really pleasurable, like going to a spa, or getting your hair done. Invite friends that you trust to go with you. I'm not suggesting that you will magically feel better on this day. Think of it as the day that you begin the process of feeling better.
Don't date too soon and definitely don't date an old ex too soon. This will only lead to trouble since you're way too vulnerable to make decisions of the heart. Drunken or even sober sex (even if its safe) with a stranger is probably a bad idea at this time, too. Now is the time to take care of yourself and straighten things out. It is, however, a good idea to simply notice other single men. Keep their resumes on file in the event of a job opening.
Lastly, and this is very important, don't call your ex. I'm going to say it again so it sinks in. Don't call your ex. Is that clear? No exceptions to this rule. Don't call your ex. Don't email, text message, write letters to, or smoke-signal your ex, either.
Also, pick up the book "It's Called a Break Up Because its Broken" by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt.
Hope you feel better soon!!
2006-12-08 16:19:19 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AWWW hun... my heart hurts for you- because I once was you. You can NEVER love someone enough to compensate for them not loving you. I had an over and over relationship that took up 5 years of my life and a large chunk of my sanity and self esteem.
HE has told you to leave.... you really have no choice BUT to get over him. Otherwise.....every moment that he has a "I am lonely" moment- he will come back to you. Because he knows you want to be with him- more then you want to be apart from him. He will also know that the minute "something else" comes around- he can do the same thing to you again and still end up back in your arms should that not work out.
BREAK THE CYCLE NOW... move on.
HUGS!
2006-12-09 00:14:40 · answer #2 · answered by Mommyk232 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should heed his advice. Clearly he does not feel the same way about you that you fell about him. Just relax and give it time to work itself out. A week is not long enough. If you have to go your own way then the best thing you should do is to start seeing other guys or stay close to your friends. Give your heart a chance to mend and don't jump from one relationship to another without healing. You will lose control and do something you will regret otherwise.
2006-12-09 00:14:38 · answer #3 · answered by Lewis P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Key statement here is "He wasn't treating me well at all". Thats enough right there to leave and not look back. You also mentioned that this guy doesn't feel as strongly for you as you do for him.
I understand you wanting to hold on. I've been there and done that myself. In the end you have to take care of yourself and surround yourself with people who treat you with respect. Even if today it feels like you can't live without him tomorrow will come and you'll feel better. Time heals all wounds.
2006-12-09 00:13:14 · answer #4 · answered by ←Shea→ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I know right now it seems impossible, but trust me you will get over him. You really need to move on with your life. Find things to keep you entertained. It will hurt for a while. But soon you will realize you are better off without him. It's not easy but you can do it. Spend some time with yourself. Get to know who you are, and then mabey you will come to love and respect yourself enough to not want to be in a bad relationship. Stay strong and know that better times will come.
2006-12-09 00:13:50 · answer #5 · answered by ms_attitude 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
k, u have to act like u dont care and he has to realise what hes missing out on....if he doesnt do anything about it, try getting back and fixing stuff then u must move on.....but in the meantime get unattached to him...be an independent woman and focus on yourself, your friends and meeting new ppl....let time do its own thing but be aware it might not be your way...plus find an awsome hobby so u can dedicate your time to that instead of thinking 24/7 about him...good luck girl
2006-12-09 00:13:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is too short for the drama. If you want to sign up for misery, go right ahead, you will look back and realize that SOS (stuck on stupid) was the wrong path to take. Or you can pick yourself up and move on to greener pastures.
If he didn't treat you well in the first place why are you sweating him. Only dogs eat their own vomit
2006-12-09 00:14:34 · answer #7 · answered by act as if 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My step daughter is going through the same thing as I am typing this ....her soon to be ex, has dumped her more then once try 3 or 4 times...and jus recently 9 days ago...my advice is to dump him to the curb and move on you don't need to put up with that kind of mind games and being mistreating at all....everyone deserves to be happy and not go through any kind of abuse or mind games.....I myself would not put up with and move on ....have some friend(s) keep you company or go and see them to help you through this...good luck and take care.
2006-12-09 00:17:40 · answer #8 · answered by qckdrw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love is an addiction, sometimes good sometimes bad. Best thing to do is keep yourself busy, take a dance class, or hang out with your gal pals. Time and friendship are the best medicine. Dont worry hunny, you gonna be okay (hug)
2006-12-09 00:12:39 · answer #9 · answered by //// 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is really nothing you can do to accelerate the process of getting over someone. But, you should consider what it means to you to get over him, not thinking about him, not crying, not caring, seeing someone else.
But whatever you do, keep yourself busy. Moping around and wallowing in misery doesn't help any.
2006-12-09 00:13:49 · answer #10 · answered by FSJD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋