I dread going in the bedroom. He's attractive and i love him alot, been married for 9 years now. Before it was a once in a while thing when he went down on me.. now he wants it everynight. I dont mind having sexual intercorse but im not into oral. It really makes him irratable when i say no. He storms out of the room. What do i do ?
2006-12-08 15:55:22 · 21 answers · asked by blimp 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You MUST communicate with him. If you tell him you do not like it, he will think you do not like it...... BY him..
You see, we process infomation differently then what you mean. We do not understand WHAT exactly you mean when it is not said. With Sex and a Man, it is very goal focused. It is clear to me that he
1. is trying to tell you he wants oral on HIM or
2. He is hell bent on pleasing you first.
If you are telling him you don't like it, tell him why. Does he miss the "target"? Does he not shave? Does he not use his fingers? Does he want to kiss you afterwords?
The unfortunate aspect is that you have to be graphic in your description.
You mentioned that you do not mind having intercourse with him, so I believe this to be a communication issue. NOT an itimacy...but I could be wrong.
the best thing for you to do is to talk with him. Set him down and share with him WHY you do not like it...and make it clear if you want to turn me on, give me a long naked backrub while listening to soft music in the background with candles lit...
If he tells you he wants #1, then be prepared to get on your knees and love him. If he tells you he wants to please you, then tell him what you want that WILL accomplish his goal of pleasing you...Flowers, bubble baths, making love, cuddling.
He may find it easier to make you orgasm without working so hard.
Good luck
2006-12-08 16:10:41 · answer #1 · answered by e_guanajuato 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you like when he goes down on you?
try to answer this question and then go point by point and see if you can oversome them.
Don't be tense while he does it. just relax and try to feel him down there. If you masturbate and know the spots that he could hit, it will help you to feel amazing.
If it's still a NO NO then you have to talk to him about it but not in the bedroom when you guys are going to make love, it should be sometime during a casual day. When a man is going down on you he's trying to please you. So when you tell him you don't like that, tell him why and that it's not him and how he does it but it's you and what you feel. (that's why he storms out, you didn't explain why, he thought he was the problem)
2006-12-08 16:04:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are afraid of him going down on you. Why? Is it physical? Do you have a discharge? Do you have a problem with the way your vagina looks like? Do you have a problem with flatulence? What could be so wrong? This if any of that I mentioned was a problem then see your Dr. If not there is something you are uncomfortable with psychologically that is very difficult for you. Talk to your Mom or a female friend about it. Then talk to him. He is angry because he sees that you are not owning up to your fear. And you are not trusting in him.This limits your love for one another. Let go girl. You both so need it. Feel his love that he so wants to give. But you have to allow yourself the love that you have and so need as well.
2006-12-08 16:08:38 · answer #3 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you love him as much as you say then maybe you shoudl try the oral sex thing, you might like it, it doesn't have to stay oral, it can lead to the actual intercourse, it's just a little movement to get you in the mood for sex. try it and you might like it. Just do it for him once, he'll appreciate it. When he's down on you he won't stay there, he'll work his way up and then you'll both have fun. maybe he'll get tired of it after a while. idk.Good Luck!
2006-12-08 16:01:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi being a guy to i think you really need to try to pic the right time to talk with him when hes not thinking sex or hes needs just like in all loves its understanding that matters the most and help him see how u feel without getting mad at eachother i know that once you give into him and give him oral he will want it all the time thats the problem so its talking understanding with him that will solve it oneway or another.
2006-12-08 16:06:46 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hold him, and stroke his body, and tell him kindly that you prefer to have his member inside of you instead of his tongue. Tell him you know it's hyped up all over the place that women like it, but you do not like it. And be sure to touch him a lot; rub his body all over and stroke his crotch gently as you tell him all this. (That's good advice in general, by the way.) I don't know why he's so obsessed with it. The tongue is not an erotic organ in any way. He must think you're really getting something out of it or something like that. Good luck!
2006-12-08 16:02:47 · answer #6 · answered by anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you dont like it because he is no good, figure out a way to giv e him some pointers. If you just dont like it, and he storms out thank God and roll over and go to sleep. The bedroom is not Burger king, he cant have it his way.
2006-12-08 16:00:23 · answer #7 · answered by act as if 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I heard most guys want to have fun down there but I think its just ok if his partner would allow him otherwise call 911, lols! kidding!
Try saying you aren't comfortable, in a tactful way.
2006-12-08 16:00:03 · answer #8 · answered by newg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say you shuld tell him that your not in to that but you can make it up to him by doing something freeker than oral you be the aggersive and you go down on him and go fast
2006-12-08 16:01:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him your not into that kinda stuff. hun, if he storms outta the room when you say no, then you shouldn't waste your time on him. if he loves you, he WILL understand. hope i could help =]]
2006-12-08 15:59:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋