will my baby like the sitter better than me?

Question

ok i just had a baby 2 months ago and i am only 19 and i have to work from 6:45-3:15 4 days on 2 days off but sometimes 6 days in a row and i sometimes have to work doubles.or work at my other job were he stays at the sitters for 10 hours aat a time i am worried that my baby will start to like/love the baby sitter more than him mom because the books say this is when the babys start to reconise people..i mean i wish i didnt have to work as much but i am a single parent and i need to make mone to support us what do you think?

Answer 1

You child will know you are his mom and will love you. But you should be prepared for another part of reality. The baby will be very close to the babysitter. He will experience a lot of things with her first. (you may miss the first step or first word) It is not the end of the world. Try not to feel too bad about it though--be happy that he is growing healthy and well and that you are doing everything you can to make sure he has everything he needs. He will not like her better but it may feel like it sometimes. (it is natural for you to feel envious of someone who gets to spend so much time with your baby.)

Just do what you have to do and understand that he loves you and knows you are his mom. (even when he is with the babysitter.)

Answer 2

When you have time with your baby make it high quality. Talk to him, sing to him, touch him, feed him. Get one of those baby slings so you can put him in the sling while you do dishes, or laundry.

Try to keep your life as simple as possible till he is older. By this I mean use paper plates and cups when you can. They may seem like a luxury but they save lots of time and work. Be sure to run you rvacuum every week it goes a long way to keeping a place clean and clean looking. Put things away as you go. SAy if you have a cup of cocoa watching TV when you et up to go to the bathroom take the cup out to the kitchen. When you take off your coat hang it in the closet. When you take off your clothes put them in the hamper if they are dirty. If you take a couple seconds to do stuff as you go it will save you time and you will have more time to spend with your child, and you will more comfortable and relaxed to boot.

Have you thougth about School? Most states have programs for young single mothers where you can get college or vocational training free. They generally also supply a sitter and money for rents and food. If you can get an education. learn a vocation or a career you will be able ot make more money so you can work less an dhave more time for your child. Look into it NOW! i toucld really improve your life.

Lastly your child may like your baby sitter better than you. It is her job to watch the child while you work. Mom you get all the hard stuff cause you are the mom. Being liked by your child is NOT your goal. But your child will love you. Children will tell you they don't want rules or limits but inside they know they need them and want them to help keep them out of trouble. You set th elimits, make the rules and give out love. Your child will love you back. Keep in mind it won't always seem like he does but he will.

Besides you want him to like the the sitter. That is a good thing for both of you. Keep in mind a childs heart is HUGE. It can love a dozen people at the same time and not be full up. And you can count on that for sure!

Answer 3

Your baby will know you are Mommy and he will also know that his daycare provider is someone he can trust and love. I have a day care in my home and most of the children I keep spend 50 hours a week with me while their parents work. There is no breaking that bond you have with your son no matter how much time he spends with the sitter, he knows who you are what your relationship is, but I do need to tell you about a situation I had happen not too long ago just to prepare you. I have a little girl in my care that is 18 months and I've been watching her since she was 3 months old. She spends between 40-50 hours a week at my house and she went through a little phase a couple of months ago where she would run to me when her mom came to pick her up to go home. I would hand her over to her mom and she would cry and reach out for me. This is the first time that has ever happened in all my years of being around children so I was a little shocked. Luckily her mom understood and said she was not upset by what her daughter was doing, she said that she was lucky to have someone she trusted to care for her child and that it was obvious her daughter loved spending time with me. So just keep that in mind in case it ever happens with your son, it probably never will, but I think it's good to let you know it's possible when kids do spend so much time with their day care providers who they grow to love. Good luck and I hope you find someone that you trust to care for you little one.

Answer 4

I will echo to everything said so far. You baby will love you. You are the constant in his life, not the sitter. Just make sure that the time you have with him is spent playing and interacting and cuddling him. Indeed, this is more important (and pleasant) than keeping the house spotless! Although I am not a single parent, I went to a similar type of routine. I made sure that my days off were spent with him. I did my grocery shopping on my way to/from home so I could relax and play with the kids when we were together. My husband was working abroad at the time. he left when my kid was 2 weeks old and got back when she was 2 months. He'd stay home for 2 to 3 weeks then leave agin for 4 to 6 weeks. But when he was home, he involved himself in their routine (Fed them, bathed them, read them books, played with them) The kids knew who daddy was and they love him just the same. Baby will adapt and will love you.
Good luck!

Answer 5

Have you ever heard of quality time. You can still bond with your baby and hopefully he WILL have a loving relationship with the sitter. It is unfortunate that you must work so much, but wouldn't it be a relief to know that your baby is being taken care of by someone who he loves and who loves him? Don't worry, just do your best and remember quality time!!!!!

Answer 6

Your baby will still be spending more time with you than with any babysitter and nobody can love your baby more than you.

I remember how hard this is. You want your baby to be happy and to love the babysitter, but just not as much as he loves you.
;-)

Remember that your child won't remember the things you did FOR him, he'll remember all the things you did WITH him. It is more important that the two of you have fun together than for you to keep your house spotless, or cook every meal from scratch or all the other supermom stuff.

Play with him, read with him, go out and do fun things with him.

How couldn't he love you best?

Answer 7

Your baby knows you very well already and your smell and your voice, he knows who Momma is, that sucks that you have to work so many hours in the most important time in his development, first two years, but I don't think you have to worry, just make the most of the time you do have with him.... just hope you have a good sitter.................

Answer 8

no mom is mom.....no matter what. i too work 10-14 hours a day and have since both of my children were 6weeks old. At first i was a little jealous of her she saw my first son walk before me.and sometimes my kids call me by her name but they call her by my name too. and when they get hurt its not her name they call its mine. remember you are doing what is best for your child and in the end it is worth it and your child will understand that.

Answer 9

You are the Mom and your baby knows that. No one will ever love your baby as much as you and your baby knows that too! Relax, everything will be fine!

Answer 10

No, he won't love her more. i understand how you feel though because I had to do the same thing. But don't worry, he will always recognize you as his mom, I promise.