I lost my son 12/18/05 last year and I am having trouble this xmas. I stayed in bed all day today because of our first snow came. I used to love the snow and I can't deal with anything right now. I see my Doctor regular and I am on an anti depressant med. I just want to bary my head and sleep. I need to get out of this slup. What can I do?
2006-12-08 15:39:09 · 15 answers · asked by cindy c 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
hey i feel you, have you tried talking to someone it might help. For Christmas (if he died of anything other than natural causes) you could donate to a fund that will benefit people who are in the position you or he was in last year.Just keep going for it and never give up.
Merry Christmas and God Bless
2006-12-08 15:46:14 · answer #1 · answered by help:) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been where you are. I lost my son in 2000..I think I cried thru everything for 3 years...birthday, Christmas, Halloween, date of loss, etc. I can't have anymore children and so I still today cry when I see a newborn or a pregnant women...it makes me miss him so much. You will always grieve..probably more so in the first few years than later on and not just as Christmas either...when you hear his name. Favorite song, Favorite restaurant, etc. It's o.k. to be sad and down..don't let anybody tell you it's not..After 6 months my family was telling me "get over it...he's gone"...My Christmas will NEVER be the same nor will yours.. If your son is in Heaven you have to know that He is having a far better life and that he is Celebrating Christmas with his God.. He will ALWAYS be in your thoughts..You may grieve 2 years..4...or 10.. but it doesn't matter how long you grieve...that's different for everyone...After I lost my son I wanted to take Christmas off the calender....it was too hard...you probably feel like too... You can get thru this. You didn't mintion how old your son was but if he was older and could come back and say one thing to you I think it would be this": I am at peace mom...I know you miss me but it's ok to go on with your life..don't cry for me rejoice in my life"...if you need to talk e-mail. me.. (hope I didn't make you sadder but I am crying for you)
2006-12-09 00:44:58 · answer #2 · answered by chilover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry about your son! I have 2 daughters & can't even imagin what I would do if I lost 1 of them! Of course holidays must be very hard for you, especially this year. Don't push yourself into trying to get into the snow & other things before you are ready. I really can't think of anything that would help you feel better, but I do want you to know that someone cares about you & that I will be thinking about you. You really touched me & I won't forget you! Hang in there & don't stop seeing your dr. I really hope you find some peace. Good Luck!!!
2006-12-09 03:04:17 · answer #3 · answered by Sherrie L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was depressed and going through Christmas time too. At first I wanted to have all that was gone and it hurt. I kept my mind off it by going to Florida for a while. Later I went to homes when invited. That was totally bad being in another family's house for their Christmas. Now I try to have some of the traditions and have a nice Christmas alone and greet people the next day. My close friendships don't occur on Christmas but I enjoy them when they come. I love the foods and music of Christmas now and enjoy the time very much.
2006-12-09 00:24:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you could give a contribution to your local mental health association in your son's name and visit a local nursing home and adopt some oldsters a nurse will tell you they have no family. Start small and force yourself out of bed and get ready to go one time a week[maybe someone could go with you]. Giving to others always gives us a good feeling. I do not know about your Christmas dinner but how about pampering yourself and tell everyone we can either eat dinner in a restaurant or grocery stores will make delicious meals at inexpensive prices. Maybe your family could make a celebration of your son's live and talk aboud good things remembered. Just take one step at a time and get in a support group if you are not in one. Tell your doc that you are isolating yourself.[a puppy or kitten will love you out of your slump and going to church and listening to the glorious music might help too. Your son will always be in your heart and you will always love each other]. I am so sorry for your loss.
2006-12-09 00:30:08 · answer #5 · answered by Sandy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cindy,
I am so sorry to hear about your son. I cannot imagine your loss! Turn to your family and friends who love you for strength. No one expects you to act like everything is okay! I don't know if your religious, but if you are then you need to turn to God for strength. Remember your loving son. Keep him in your mind and your heart. I'm sure you have talked with a grief counselor, if not you should. The loss of a child is very hard to get over because its very unnatural and always unexpected.
You've got to get up Cindy. You have to get out of the house and try to re-enter the world. Your son does not want you spending the rest of your life mourning his death. I know that he loved you enough to want you to live.
Please try hard, have faith, and don't give up. I'm praying for your strength.
2006-12-08 23:51:05 · answer #6 · answered by Topaz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know anything about Loosing a child bUt I do know what it feels like to loose someone they love. And I totally get that feeling of complete sadness.
I started going to Tai chi classes and doing Meditation, and i found that it really has helped with my energy level and enthusiasm about doing stuff.
2006-12-09 00:17:20 · answer #7 · answered by orchid2800 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first know that you don't have to be happy and cheerful and that's ok. You've had a terrible loss and this time of year makes you feel it 10 times over. I'm glad to hear you're seeing your doctor, please ask him or her to refer you to a grief counselling service.......private or in a group setting. It will help you immensely I promise.
2006-12-08 23:42:16 · answer #8 · answered by alwayslarat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
CHeer up! your son is just gone in body. he is still with you in soul and spirit. He is [probably] looking down from heaven watching you. Deepest sympzthy for your loss..
<33
2006-12-09 00:16:38 · answer #9 · answered by Candy099 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do something for someone that is less fortunate than you. doing something for someone else will help you feel better. plus now that your son is a little angel looking down at you he will be happy to see you do something so good!!
2006-12-08 23:45:00 · answer #10 · answered by Scott J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋