Is it better to be honest or kind/fake?

Question

Would you rather have a friend that is brutally honest with their feelings about everything (what you're wearing, how you act, etc.), or a friend that's nice and kind to everyone (pushing the point of being fake), even if it's not what they're thinking or feeling?

Answer 1

Is "honesty" telling the truth, or is it giving your opinion? The reason we temper our responses is that from our point of view a thing may not have value, but to another it is everything. It doesn't take much to crush a person - we all hope we are doing the right thing, making the right choices, not offending, etc. But you can't please everyone since our life experiences and background differ so much. So we learn to keep our nasty hurtful comments to ourselves. You don't have to be fawning and overly impressed with someone's choices; you can give a somewhat neutral response if you don't want more of the same coming from them. We are humans - we can CHOOSE to be nice, and we should. Life is hard enough without people close to you chopping you down.

Answer 2

Being kind is not synonymous with being fake. And sometimes being brutally honest is not a matter of honesty at all but, a need to be mean because of some kind of complex on the part of the 'brutally honest' person.
I would rather have a good friend who would be gently honest when needed and never 'brutally' honest or cruel.

Answer 3

Yes, I would much rather have a friend that is brutally honest than one who is merely polite but I also would want that friend to be intelligent. Just because you feel/think something and feel the need to always voice your opinion does not mean that you are right. Thus, if you choose to be someone who says what they think you should make sure that whatever you think/say is thought out and based on truth. Finally, a true friend would know how to be all three at once. That's the goal.

Answer 4

A true friend would NOT BE Brutally Honest for their purpose in being your friend is to NOT to be judgeing or critiqueing you all the time.For you have the right to be a individual and friends do not have to agree on everything nor see eye to eye on everything.The only time that a friend should be critical of your dress, manners etc if if it were to be harmful to you but Brutal No for one can be Honest but still be kind .A true friend would care for your feelings -before being honest and find a way to tell you in a helpful and caring way and then if needed have the shoulder ready for you to cry,lean on-be supportive. Being nice and kind is a good quality to have but not when its gushy or fake. If for example I don't like the way someone is then why would I even choose to be a friend for the friendship would not be real and a phony most of the time is found out anyway. We in order to function in society need to recognize the differences in people and respect everyones right to be as they choose and its not a requirement that we like all but once we accept those difference we can live side by sidein dignity and respect

Answer 5

Somewhere in between is probably best. You should certainly be honest about substantive things, though it is not often that you have to be "brutal" in your honesty. People often say they are "just being honest", when they want to say something mean or spiteful that has an element of truth to it.

Strive to be kind and nice, but do it by finding the positive rather than being fake.

Answer 6

Honesty, all the way. You need to be able to count on some things, like the honest opinion of a friend, or the security of knowing your friendship is based on the right things. The world is already too full of fakes.

Answer 7

This is a great question & this is how I deal with it in my life: I am honest & frank (but not rude) to people I feel very comfortable with. I will be more fake nice to people I DON'T feel comfortable with just to avoid any hassles with these people. Also, I will be fake nice with people who are overly sensitive, like a close friend of mine; she gets offended at EVERYTHING & whines about everything, so I have learned to "sugar coat" everything for her overly-sensitve a$$.

Answer 8

I love my friends brutally honest, it makes me laugh. I have a friend that I call regularly to tell me when I'm being a "sh*t stack" as she calls it. LOL A true friend tells you what you're doing wrong and then helps you fix it.

Answer 9

why does kindness and politeness always get a bad rap? can't a person be tactful, and nice, and not be a kiss butt? i'm brutally honest with myself, and frankly, i'd sooner have a friend that sees my faults but overlooks them out of love and kindness than one that rubs my flaws in my face.

Answer 10

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