I need help! My entire life I've grown up in a mostly white suburb.
Suddenly, i get to highschool (freshman) and BAM! Black guys... I don't really care for them and it makes me feel terrible! Why am I not attracted to my own race? It's awful! And whats worse is that I doubt any white guys would date me because of my skin color. Black guys/girls think i'm an 'oreo' (black on the outside white on the inside) and I don't know if any white guys are physically attracted to me. I have white guy friends but thats about as far as its ever gotten. In fact I've never had a boyfriend in my life, haha. Maybe its because I'm young (15 is NOT young)? My friends tease me for being a prude and i just go along with it, but its all starting to build up and drive me nuts! What can I do? Would a white guy ever date a black girl like me? I'd feel pretty crappy for going through my highschool years without a single boyfriend. But as desperate as this sounds, it's true. Please be honest, I need confidence.
2006-12-08 15:26:47 · 18 answers · asked by LaLa N 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I was EXACTLY in your same situation when I was in high school. The only difference is that I attended all black, all white and integrated schools, so I got to experience everything.
First, you have to understand that your are probably uncomfortable about black guys because you don't have any experience with them. For the most part, guys are guys. Black or White, they can either be very cool or incredibly stupid. Relax; get to know PEOPLE, not just color. Yes, it's a reality that people judge us by skin color, but they also judge by intelligence, integrity and compatibility. Before you write off all black guys, get to know them as people. Isn't that how you want others to know you? Just as a cool person?
Secondly, and I know it's hard, but you have to stop thinking so much about what people think of you. Some of my family thought I was "oreo" because I didn't use slang. My parents didn't allow it in the house, period. But, if being an "oreo" meant that I didn't do drugs, didn't get into trouble, didn't get pregnant and things like that, then yeah...call me oreo!
You are young still. You are going to graduate from high school and find out that the world expands far beyond the white suburbs where you live. Your parents are probably like mine: they wanted the best enviornment and education for me-- but that doesn't mean that all things White are the best, as all of any race or culture are the best. The ideal situation is to meet a variety of people and have a number of experiences.
It's easy to get caught up in the media hype of what black is and means. Don't believe for a moment that there are any intelligent, nice black young men out there. Also, you have a resposibility to challenge yourself whenever possible and step out of your comfort zone. Take color out of the picture and consider this: How shallow is it to date or not date someone based on looks? If that is all a person sees in you, then they're not worthy of you. We all have so much more to us than the packaging.
Take a deep breath, clear your mind and enjoy your life. The right guy, no matter what his background, will find his way to you.
2006-12-08 15:42:42 · answer #1 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I'm white, and I would date black women if they were my type. Race is not a factor for me, really. You have nothing to feel bad about. You're 15 and you haven't had a boyfriend. Well, let me tell you something. I'm 21, and I have not had a girlfriend. And I don't really know any girls right now that I would want to go out with. (And no, I'm not that picky either. And I'm normal looking too.) So, just be patient and forget what other people think. I'm sure there are lots of white guys who would go out with you. But you should make the approach, because they will often think the same way you were. And don't get discouraged by rejection or people's opinions. Those obstacles are bound to be there no matter what. Good luck!
2006-12-08 15:38:02 · answer #2 · answered by anonymous 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That's perfectly normal. The people you grow up with are the ones you feel comfortable with and are attracted to. If you had grown up with Japanese, you'd find them attractive. That doesn't mean you'll ALWAYS feel that way. I'm white, grew up in white areas, and couldn't understand why anyone would go out with a black woman. Unless he was English. But I've had slightly more exposure to black women in public, through the media, and a few acquaintances. I can look at black women the way I do white women now. I don't like all of them, and some of them are just drop-dead gorgeous. It's getting more common for white guys to have a relaxed attitude about this.
So no, it isn't wrong. Dating a white guy isn't the impossible dream. And you'll probably see more in black guys after a few years of being around them.
2006-12-08 16:05:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot are, just like a lot of black guys are interested in black girls. The people who aren't are just racist t***s. If you are attracted to this guy, get talking to him. If he says that you are disgusting because you are black (you're not) then he's not worth it. Move on if that is the case. The world doesn't work in the way that whites go with whites and blacks go with blacks. It's who you fall in love with. Black, white, it doesn't matter. What matters is what you are good inside. The answer to your question is that probably white guys ARE attracted to you but you need to get talking to the person you like. Hope it helps Nina :) xxx
2016-03-29 00:28:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Granted, the dating of the opposite race (black/white) usually seems to be black guy/white girl, but I see no reason why a white guy wouldn't date you. I am white and never dated a black girl, but it wasn't because I didn't want to-lol. My brother dated a black girl before. Hopefully this helps but don't listen to what people say about dating outside of your race, it is fine. Love is love and it doesn't matter what color the person is.
2006-12-08 15:31:52 · answer #5 · answered by Skywalker_NatureBoy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its ok not having a boyfriend throughout your high school years. not everyone wants one so just because people are pressuring you doesn't mean you should have one. but, back to the wjole black girl with a white boy issue, you like who you like so don't be soory for that. we all have different tastes in the opposite sex so don't worry about. i also am a black female who didn't have a boyfriend until after high school. i'm happy about that though because while the girls with there boyfriends were crying about there guys doing this or that, i was just having fun and going to hang out with my guy friends. its cool being attracted to people of different races, plus those are the cutest looking couples anyway, lol. your only 15 anyway so don't sweat the little things, focus on your school work, and have fun...
2006-12-08 15:39:48 · answer #6 · answered by GOODGIRL 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
hun race does not matter these days you can date who ever you want and yes there are plenty of white guys ou there that will date a black girl dont worry about it your time will come and you will find a boy friend white black purple whatever and yes 15 is way to young ta have a boyfriend dont rush it you have all the time in the world
2006-12-08 15:38:41 · answer #7 · answered by Jeannie T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You like what you like. Have you ever considered that you might not be swept away by any guy (regardless of race) the first few times you talk with them. 15 is a little young to be worrying about never having had a boyfriend. Don't be like all of the kids that I teach. I teach 8th grade and have 3 of my girls come to school pregnant in the last 4 years. It is very depressing. Enjoy being a kid. You'll be an adult soon enough.
2006-12-08 15:31:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 0⤋
Hunny don't worry bout race.Seee i am just the opposite.i grew up in a all black neighbor hood and white guys(i am italian) don't attracted me as much as the other races.But never worry race.and a lot of white guys wanna girl that is great and has a little back behind them.And they really can't get that in white girls unless they mixed with the right stuff so don't hold urself don't get out there an make yourself avalibile.show then r u single but u wanna man and if they can't figure it out go and tell them.if u lik them go and get ur man hunny.
2006-12-08 15:33:55 · answer #9 · answered by Jilly Boo Boo 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is attracted to different types of people and it should not matter who it is. Go for who every you like if you see someone you like then make the first move. Don't care what other says just follow your heart and ignore the haters.
2006-12-08 15:57:31 · answer #10 · answered by katie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋