I went outside the other day and found my daughter shooting hoops with the guys. Needless to say I wasn't that happy. I told her to come in the house and that I needed to talk with her. She knew I wouldn't be happy with that and I could tell it in her eyes when she was coming inside. I told her that basketball is a man's sport and that I didn't want her to become some he/she like you see on TV. She said she wasn't playing basketball, but was just shooting baskets because it looked fun. Then she went to her bedroom and started crying on her pillow. Well, then I felt bad like maybe I should let her shoot some baskets every once in a while if no guys are around (I don't want her to get hurt because men playing with women in sports is dangerous for ladies). Do you think I should or will this lead to her becoming a butch lady? She is pretty feminine now and I want her to stay that way.
2006-12-08 15:00:06 · 16 answers · asked by J.P. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Are you serious, "let", she's 20. You do know it's 2006 right? She can play basketball or any another sport for that matter, she's a grown woman. Not all women you see playing basketball on TV are he/she's, believe it or not some are actually married to men and even get pregnant and have kids. If you "let" her do anything let her be an adult so she can make her own decisions.
2006-12-08 16:54:44 · answer #1 · answered by cutie 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is 20 yrs old that makes her an adult.
And it's only a game of basket ball!
Many women these days play sports that have in the past been considered Men's sport but that doesn't take away a woman's femininity away from her.
'shooting a few hoops' isn't going to hurt anyone or cause them to become "butch", my daughters 15 years old and she'll play football with her brothers but she's still as feminine as any other girl.
I'm glad that you felt bad about her crying, it shows you have consideration for her feelings and I'm not surprised that she did cry i think i would have cried to had i been her.
We may bring children into this world but that doesn't give us the right to own them, we have to nurture them and teach them to be in dependant so that one day they can live their own lives.
Some people may consider what you done as mental abuse so think on that for a moment then consider how if you were in your daughters shoes how you would feel if your parents did that to you?
There come a time and no it's not easy, when we have to let go and let or children make there own mistakes and live their own lives.
She maybe your daughter and you may well love her but its time to start letting go
2006-12-08 15:22:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, a 17 year old will be an 18 year old very soon, and will be considered a full adult under the law. And really, I would say that at 17 I would have done my best to instill my values and life lessons in her for a very long time and if she hadn't gotten it by then she isn't going to. So I would be rather foolish, I think, to try to prevent her from making her own decision to live with him. It would more than likely only create a wedge between us, or deepen it if one was already there, and set the stage for a very bad scene. So I would simply let her know that I didn't think it was a good idea, but let her make her own mind up even if I didn't like it. I have a 13 year old daughter, btw.
2016-03-29 00:27:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what you're true concern is here. I had to raise a daugther and I love sports and would take her with me so she and I could shoot around and I would play with her sometimes. If you're worried that by her playing basketball will in time turn her less feminine, don't worry about that. She's who she is and by playing a certain sport isn't going to change her. Now if you don't want her to play with guys since if they are really playing serious and you don't want her to get hurt, I understand your concern. Even guys can and do get hurt playing basketball, I speak from personal experience. So I understand you from that viewpoint. Also how small of a girl is she? If she's a petite person I can se where you're coming from, though humans are pretty resilient in general. When I was young, there was a young girl who played with us guys, but she played at school and by no means liked guys less by playing with us. I know girls who don't play basketball and they're gay. So that has nothing really to do with it. Look, you're her father and I know you want to protect here but show her some faith - it seems to me so far you and your wife have done a good job so far, so don't worry about it. I hope this helps you.
2006-12-08 15:19:59 · answer #4 · answered by Level424me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Should you let your daughter play basketball?!" First and foremost, your "20" year old daughter is an adult! In a few years she'll be thinking about her own family. Being a female and shooting basketball doesn't make you a "butch"... That's a choice! Additionally, is sounds as though you're trying to live your daughters life. You should trust the way that you raised her and allow her to become her own women making her own choices... So try having a "conversation" with her and see what "she" is thinking.. it's better than assumming
2006-12-08 15:12:19 · answer #5 · answered by zealotmovement 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, 20 is legally an adult and she should be making her own choices. It sounds like you two still have a parent-mid-teenager relationship going on. Second, there is no such thing as a man's sport or a woman's sport. If she wants to play football, she should be able to. Basketball is a really good sport to play to help keep you cardiovascular fit and help with hand-eye coordination. If she wants to play, you should let her play. (though it pains me to tell you to "let" her do anything at her age)
2006-12-08 15:14:06 · answer #6 · answered by K S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, LET her play? She's 20 years old dude, cut the cord!! I would have slammed you in the face with the ball if you were my dad. You are a pig and you are teaching your daughter to be weak and subservient, which is probably how you treated her mother! Little girls grow up, they get hurt, physically, mentally, etc., she can and will and SHOULD do what ever the heck she wants to; my first recomendation, move as far away from you as she can!
2006-12-08 15:11:14 · answer #7 · answered by Rhode Island Red 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its good that you want to protect her from getting hurt but did you
say she was 20? She is an adult now and its hard sometimes to see your kid all grown up and ready to step into the world alone! But she doesnt have to be because you can be right beside her incouraging her to follow her dreams and build up her confidence!
You should think of what she wants to do not want you always want her to do! It sounds like she is stressed out because you are over judging things and being to strict!
2006-12-08 15:20:27 · answer #8 · answered by hate school, love Dog Whisperer! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Step into the 21st century WOMEN can and do do everything. They even have women basketball leagues now. Women who play sports are no less femine than those that don't.
2006-12-08 15:04:54 · answer #9 · answered by SHERRI 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok if your daughter is 20 then why are you telling her what ta do she is a woman not a child a woman can do what she wants ta do when she wants ta do it so lady you really should get a life and let your daughter have hers if she wants ta play ball then she should my daughter is 6 and she will be playing basketball net year
2006-12-08 15:14:15 · answer #10 · answered by Jeannie T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋