How do you get a 17 months old to stop headbutting? We have tried everything and nothing is helping us.?

Question

How do you get a 17 months old to stop headbutting? My hubby and I have try every thing and it is not working we and spanked him and put him in time out it is not working. Can you please help me because he has a bro and sis younger than him and we dont wont him to headbut them cuz he could put them in the hospital it he hit them in the right spot.

Answer 1

Oh man, my daughter did this when she was about 15 months old, for about 2 or 3 months. I found out after a while that my husband was laughing when she did it to him, and it made it hard for me to discipline her for it. Once we came to an agreement that this was not acceptable behavior, which it sounds like you and your husband already have, it didn't take too long for her to get over it. It just takes persistence with the punishment. Tiring as it is, put him in time out every single time he does it. He will eventually stop.

Now we're dealing with a kicking phase. Such fun.

Oh, the joys of toddlers. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

This is where you get to be the parent. Quit letting him sleep with you and quit nursing. Period. With the nursing, that doesn't mean you stop cuddling and holding him. It just means you give him a bottle/sippy cup, and redirect him to it when you are holding him and he tries to nurse. But he has learned that if he cries enough, you will come rescue him at night. You have to stop that. Put him in bed and walk away. Close the door. And DO NOT come in. DO NOT reward his crying with letting him back in bed with you. That will only make it worse, and drag the problem out. You are in for a rough couple of weeks. Welcome to parenthood. It isn't always easy. And this is where you get to pay for a year and a half of listening to the wrong people. Sorry, that's just the way it is. He is going to howl for a few nights, but you need to be the adult, and let him get over it. Not go running in every few minute to make sure he's ok. Otherwise he will NEVER stop, and you will never get to sleep, nor get your boobs back.

Answer 3

My 15 month still headbutts. He will get mad and just throw himself backwards onto the hardwood floors. We just laugh at him. Its a phase they go through along with sticking their fingers down their throat when the get upset. Believe me I have cleaned up alot of vomit because of that. I have a 4 month old and I was afraid that he was going to hur the baby with that and honestly at first he wasnt so sure what to think. Luckily we never went through the jealosy thing but now he still headbutts everything and everyone, he even hits(my sister tought him that one). However, spanking and timeout will not stop the headbutting. It will teach your child to hit your other children in the long run if they make him mad. I strongly advise against that. You just have to let him go through this phase. It will go away.

Answer 4

I know this sounds mean but have you tried headbutting him back just not as hard.I had to do this with my son,and he finally stopped.Got rid of the headache,but now he's 10,and I'm getting that headache back with homework.

Answer 5

I would ask his Pediatrician. Spanking only confuses him. Perhaps he has something going on that a doctor needs to look at. Good Luck.

Answer 6

LOLLL!! that's hilarious. This question made my day- thank you. But hey at least you don't have a 6 yr old who keeps pulling down his pants and flashing his stuff at school everyday. Highlt embarasiing.

Answer 7

Be firm EVERY time. Don't let him get away with it once and then spank him the other time. Consistency is everything when it comes to children, especially that age.

Answer 8

I don't really know what "time out" is, but it has to be a dumb ideas concocted by some stupid liberal.

Well, I just looked it up - I was right.

Answer 9

Why it happens
Surprisingly, head banging is fairly common. Up to 20 percent of all infants bang their head on purpose, although boys are three times more likely to do it than girls. Children typically start when they're about 6 months old and stop between the ages of 2 and 4.

No one knows for sure why kids bang their head, but there are a few general reasons. As odd as it may sound, most toddlers who indulge in the behavior do it to relax. They bang their head rhythmically — some rock on all fours as well — as they're falling asleep, when they wake up in the middle of the night, or even while they're sleeping. In these cases, developmental experts believe that head banging is a child's way of calming himself so he can sleep.

Head banging can also soothe a child in pain. Infants and toddlers are more likely to bang their head when they're teething or suffering from an ear infection. Head banging apparently helps them feel better, perhaps by distracting them from the discomfort in their mouth or ear.

Some youngsters bang their head during temper tantrums as a way of venting strong emotions. They haven't yet learned to express their feelings in words, so they use physical actions.

More rarely, ongoing head banging may also be a way for a child to get attention. Understandably, parents tend to become solicitous when they see their child doing something that appears self-destructive. And since children like it when their parents fuss over their behavior, they may continue head banging if it seems to be getting them a lot of unusual attention.

And finally, and more rarely, head banging is associated with certain types of autism and mental retardation.

What to do
Ignore the head banging. As difficult as it may sound, try not to make a big deal about it. Your child will only do it more if he learns that it's a sure way to get a response from you. Even if you can't completely disregard his head banging, don't scold or punish him for it. He's too young to be able to change his habits, and your disapproval will only puzzle him.

Protect your child from injury. If head banging happens in the crib, line the sides of the crib with a soft bumper to soften the impact. Your toddler's probably fine without the padding, but you'll feel reassured that he's safe, and he'll make less noise (of course, you'll want to make sure he can't use it to climb out of his crib). And check all the bolts of the crib once a month to make sure the rocking isn't loosening anything. Putting rubber casters underneath the crib legs and hanging another bumper or a quilt between the crib and the wall will help reduce noise (and wear and tear on the walls and floor).

He may get a bruise or two, but don't worry — head banging is usually a "self-regulating" behavior. This means your toddler is unlikely to hit his head hard enough to injure himself. He knows his threshold for pain, and will pull back on the throttle a bit if the banging hurts. Brain tests don't show abnormalities in these children, and the vast majority of them grow up to be healthy, intelligent adults.

Help foster your child's love of rhythm other ways. Your child clearly likes a good steady beat, so help him find other outlets for his love of rhythm. Experts often recommend dancing, marching, and clapping to music (you can hold your toddler's hands, for example, to steady him) or toy bongos for beating. You might also try putting a metronome in your child's room to give him the comfort of a steady rhythm. And make sure he gets lots of physical exercise during the day.

Institute a soothing bedtime routine at night. If your child is banging his head as a way of "coming down" from his busy day, try setting up a relaxing routine. A warm bath, a calm rock on your lap, and a quiet story or song may help. You may want to spend a few minutes before bed rubbing his back or stroking his forehead.

Consult a pediatrician if his behavior becomes worrisome. If your child bangs his head a lot during the daytime or continues to bang his head even though he's hurting himself, you may have cause to worry. More rarely, head banging can be associated with autism and other developmental disorders, or with mental retardation.

While you would likely know by now if your child was retarded, the signs of developmental disorders such as autism often become apparent during the toddler years. Autistic children generally don't relate well to people; they often aren't interested in physical contact with their parents and seem to look through people rather than at them. If you notice that your child is losing physical, language, or other skills he's acquired, if he's becoming increasingly withdrawn, or if he's consistently delayed in achieving common developmental milestones, check with his doctor.
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Answer 10

keep up the spankings and time outs. It's a phase. Next month it could be biting.