11 year old not taking baths?

Question

My 11 year old is dirty. I'm not kidding, how the heck can get this kid to take a good bath or shower. We send him into the bathroom and about 5 minutes later he is done. He doesn't do a good job at all. He just seems to rinse off for a minute or two and then he is done.

Seriously his hair really needs a good cleaning.

I'll try and send him back in there but he still doesn't do a good a job. I've even threatened to give him a bath and sit there and watch him or wash him myself... the threat didn't even phase him. He said "I don't care."

What are my options here? I've tried reasoning with him and nothing works. He's just like a little kid, what should i do?

Answer 1

Give him a bath yourself. Do it every night until he gets sick of it. He says he doesn't care, but he will once you start giving him a good scrubbing. Then tell him you expect him to be thoroughly cleaned every time he takes a bath himself, or you're going to start doing it for him again.

Answer 2

Own up to your threats! There is no point in saying that you will do something if you don't because that is why your kid isn't responding to your threats. See if this changes his actions! Maybe after you wash him yourself he will realize that you're not kidding and will do it himself. If not then begin taking away his privileges!!! Start with his privacy! That is always a big thing with young teens! Especially when he takes a shower, tell him he has to leave the door open so you can supervise him! Take away other things as necessary until he understands. If this doesn't help try treating him like a little child! Tell him that if he can't behave like an 11 year then he won't get treated like one. Five or six year olds might not wash correctly so start treating him like one! Take away his things that might signify his age, like video games. Make him sleep in a crib of some sort or make him go to sleep at an earlier time and make sure you tell him that he's being treated like a little child. Over-exaggerate EVERYTHING!!! Hope this helps!

Answer 3

Find out why he wont do it. I didn't bathe for like a month when I was a kid cuz there were these noises coming from the pipes that scared the heck out of me. When my mom figured it out, I told her and she explained to me that there were no monsters in the pipes and then I took a shower.

Anyway, the point is that I wasn't not bathing to be a difficult child, I had a reason that was valid to me. So does your son, even if that reason is something like, his favorite show is on tv.

Also, I work with young people, and it is inevitable...boys are dirty. Make sure he knows how to bathe correctly...and don't just assume cuz you tell him that he does.

DON'T Bathe him yourself...that could be traumatizing. See if someone, other than you, preferably and older male can explain the importance of hygeine to him. He's 11, the girl thing will help him to smell good soon enough.

YOU CAN wash his hair in the sink though...it would probably help you to feel a little better.

Good luck.

Answer 4

My son is similar. The way I have worked it is on certain days he takes a shower. If he doesn't or doesn't do it well I always tell him, point blank, that I will clean him myself.

He also says I don't care. But I start to follow through. When he gets to the point of being in the shower with the water running and I am standing there waiting for him to get undressed he's always like "okay OKAY I'll do it myself"

If he doesn't do a good job, the same thing. Though the thought of me seeing him naked scares him into doing a good job everytime!

Answer 5

I know this sounds odd, but it worked for my mother in law who had the same problem with her 12 year old. Take him to Wal-Mart and let him pick out stuff for his bathroom. Like a new shower curtain that he likes with matching bath mats and towels. Have 'his' towels clean and in the bathroom at all times. Make the bathroom and extension of his room, so that he feels comfortable in there. Get him ' cool ' shower products, like the Axe body wash and deodorant. And some of that Suave or Loreal Men shampoo. Get him a radio for in the shower. Maybe taking a shower is boring to him. If it doesn't work, then you're out l like 50 bucks. If it does, that lack of smell and embarrassment will be well worth it. Good luck!

Answer 6

Mmm typical teenage behaviour.

Wash his hair over the sink as suggested by all means, but to actually physically washing him if he is naked could be deemed a form of 'abuse', and you would need to be seriously careful.

I guess you could throw him in the bath tub clothes and all, and then you would have one hell of a mess to clean up. You would also have to be prepared to come out wet yourself.

Get his father to talk to him, about the importance of washing ourselves properly. Buy some mans body wash and body spray/deodorant. You could exclude him from the dinner table if he refuses to have a shower, explaining why he is excluded.

Failing this take him to the doctor, and get him/her to give him a run down of what happens if one does not wash. Having some out side the family may work, especially if they hold a position of power, e.g doctor.

Good luck hope he has a shower real soon!

Answer 7

Seems like all boys have that phase. I swear my son-in-law never grew out of it. Smells bad all the time and he's 35.

In the army, we had a guy that would not bath and the platoon was catching extra duty over it. He was escorted to the shower and we used some really rough scrub brushes. Once he finally recovered, he showered daily.

Your son probably shouldn't have that done to him. I would go out and buy some really strong perfume. I remember my sisters wearing something called Jungle Gardenia. Just a little went a long way and it was cheap, too. After he comes out of the shower and any time you smell him, pour it on him.

Answer 8

It could be rebellion. He's not a teenager (yet) but it's his way of rebelling.

You or his other parent should explain to him the importance of cleanliness. It can lead to oily, lanky hair, acne on the face and body, etc. It can also lead to isolation and rejection from his peers because no one wants to be around a smelly person.

I read an anecdote of a college age student who refused to use the bathroom at his dorm. It was noticed because he lost 3 roommates in one semester because no one wanted to room with him. Apparently he'd use old water bottles for waste containers. They tried to politely and indirectly try to get him to come around, but finally someone talked to him.

Apparently the young man had a previously undiagnosed social anxiety disorder in which he had a fear of using the public facilities. He'd go home and come back clean shaven and clean, but he'd never use the bathrooms at the dorm. After he got counseling and medication, his anxieties eased. This is an extreme case, but you never know.

I suppose you could always try hosing him down, but I doubt he'll like that.

Answer 9

It's sad but you need to start bathing him yourself. Get up with him every day and wash him, and every night before bed wash him up and because you have to wash him yourself, start taking away his favorite things, for each day you bathe him take something away because he is way to old to be acting like that and he knows what he is doing. To throw salt in his game just playing with him tell him you are going to tell all his friends that you wash him up and you are going to take a picture of it and send them all to his friends...just to make him mad oh yeah and since christmas is around the corner I would tell him he gets nothing for not washing up...he will change hopefully good luck!!!

Answer 10

seems this might right be a reaction to the pool water and the superb and delicate water for the era of baths makes it extra beneficial reported or massive. this might bypass away some days after he's complete with the swimming education. My son gets this on an identical time as he's in a chlorinated pool and it continuously finally is going away with time.