I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead?"
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: You read about all these terrorists --- most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10 -15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration...
2006-12-08 14:22:38 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
2006-12-08 14:23:02 · update #1
wow...these are great. Thanks for the thoughts :-)
2006-12-08 14:25:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
natural foods and natural causes---thats funny but it went downhill from there. i kinda liked the careless match and the forest fire line too
2006-12-08 14:40:49 · answer #2 · answered by portsidepat 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
that's cute....and i was just thinking that duct tape is kinda like the force it has a light side and a dark side and it keeps the universe together.
2006-12-08 14:28:48 · answer #3 · answered by IndeXed 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Thats a long question sweetie ,make it brief,people will
answer it
2006-12-08 14:25:39 · answer #4 · answered by 4 strings 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
just take a look Miranda people think , well you know
there $hit..
2006-12-08 20:20:53 · answer #5 · answered by Jocko 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its long!!!!!1 i dont feel like reading...i read some....nice!
2006-12-08 14:29:52 · answer #6 · answered by FP 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
great again
2006-12-08 14:26:18 · answer #7 · answered by dawn 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋