Should I forgive my father?

Question

I am a 24 year old woman who had lots of anger towards her father my father delivered me brought me into this world. When I was about 16 I notice my dad was acting funny then I found out that he had lost his job that he had for like ever and I found out that he was using cocaine and then he started not comming home my mother and father where married since they where 18 years old so like 39 years ago they hooked up they have 5 children and I am the 4th child. My father and I where very close to each other but hen I found out that he was doing cocaine and that put a wedge between us I ran away because he became a person that i couldn't face when I came back I was pregnant and that wasn't really hard on us but then he started to act even weirder and then he started to ask for money I would borrow him money and then he needed more money and then we had a storage unit that had all of my daughters baby stuff in and all of our baby stuff from are entire family and he was suppose to pay on it

but he didn't pay on it and I lost everything then he had been having an affair with someone for 6 years with another woman that was friends with my mother and family friend and he since then has been an *** my mom and dad split 6 years ago when she found out about the affair and my mom packed all of her stuff and my 17 year old sister at the time and moved 1800 miles away from him and hasn't been back since my dad only comes around when he needs something and he doesn't like my husband who treats me very well has a job and doesn't beat on me. Versus my xboyfriend who didn't ahve a job and beat on me when I was pregnant and my dad and his girlfriend stold my check book 2 years ago and went on a shoppoing spree and I didn't press any charges on eihter on of them and they stold a ring that my mother had bought me? I miss my dad but he has changed not to metion i won't let him see my children because the one time that I let him have my older daughter he smoked weed w/ my kid in the car

I have tired to give him the opprtunity to make things right be he keeps ******* up and I don't mean little things he just keeps lying to me and my kids and is a complete *** to my husband he was supoose to walk me down the aisle for my wedding he never showed up

Answer 1

I think you need to find a way to forgive him to move on. Forgiving him does not mean that you have to have him in your life though. It just means that you accept that he is who he is and that you cant change it and that you wont let the way he is affect they way you feel about yourself for the rest of your life. Drugs change people and people who do not want to change wont.

The best way for you to deal with it is to probably seek counseling. It would be great if you could get him to seek counseling too but that is probably unlikely to happen at this point. Concentrate on yourself and do what you can to forgive and move on with your life as best you can. If you let him come around than I would make it clear to him that his drugs or improper behavior in front of your kids will not be tolerated by you.

Best of Luck to You

Shelle

Answer 2

Even if you have to temporarily put some distance between you and your father, still treat him politely and try to forgive him in your heart. I know its hard, and your father has done many wrong, bad things--but being angry with him will only make your life Bitter. Dont hold on to the past--let it go, move on, and realize that your father is not the best person in the world. He is not perfect at all, and he is also very sick with addiction. One day, your Dad will realize how he wasted his life on drugs, and he will feel horrible..But you must live your life with Happiness and Peace.

Answer 3

Your father really need some one to love and forgive him because he knows that he is heading down a road that has already caused him his job and has caused hurt and pain in his family. I would like to share this with you if you don't mind? "13 years ago I was addicted to alcohol and would start arguing with my now x-wife and one knight I found my little daughter balled up in a corner frighten very badly because of my behavior. that knight I stopped drinking and got help because I was not going to hurt my child like that any more. I will say to you to pray for your father that he see the pain all of you feel and decide to get help for his problem, good luck. Pray so that your father can see and hear you plead for his life, because he to is hurting.

Answer 4

You only live once, and i know that things might be really hard, but forgive him, try to look past things, and take one day at a time...time heals everything you know...and think, why would he pay for your storage, he couldnt have been that bad of a guy...i am sure he loves you, and wouldnt want to really hurt you, i had used the same drug, and i hurt my family..he just needs help..and love...so try not to turn away..

Answer 5

Yes, you should forgive your father. Nothing more sacred that a father-daughter relationship. Try to get him some help, don't just ignore his problems just because you think you might hurt him. You go right up to your father and have a good talk with him the first chance you get young lady.

Answer 6

The only thing he needs to start to get clean and change is his family's love. You need to forgive him! And help him! There will be plenty of time to hate hime after he's gone. Cherish the present time that you have with him.

Answer 7

you really cant understand a person and really dont know them when they use drugs.if we all turn our backs on these people who will they have to help them? sometimes in life you have to put yourself in another person shoes. im not saying to pretend to do drugs youve probably have had in your past a habbit someone else didnt like. i know its hard, but its also hard to stop a habbit youve started too.

Answer 8

maybe its not his fault why he started doing that stuff cuz he felt that was his way out of watever his problems were if it was just for fun then hes ur dat but just dont be as close to him so you wont get hurt.

Answer 9

you need to forgive him for you.....not him
it is probably best that he doesn't see your children
he would be a bad influence on them
he is your dad
but you do not have to agree with or put up with his actions or bad habits
best of luck to you

Answer 10

youshould forgive him. If you dont then you are only hurting yourself. I would advise you not to loan him stuff anymore though unless you dont want it back.