what do you do w/ a depressed teenager who's in denial of her depression?

Question

my sister is 17 years old and depressed. only she denies being depressed. everyone else sees it, though. it shows on her face; she never smiles, and she has this look of strain on her face 24/7! it looks like someone punched her in the stomach! she says she can't genuinely be happy until she graduates high school, and gets a job. i keep telling her she should be happy w/ herself, first and foremost. babies aren't born w/ jobs, but they have the right to be happy! i think she has low self-esteem, which is weird b/c she's very smart, and super-talented and everyone likes her. she was a happy child growing up, but then she became a teenager and that all came to an end! her teachers and her pediatrician say she'd benefit from therapy, but she's dead set against it. i don't want to force her to do anything she isn't comfortable with. she has a lot going for her, but seems like nothing's good enough. how do you get a moralistic teenager to smile and be happy?

Answer 1

Don't force her to do something she doesn't want to do. In fact, back up a little bit and give her a little breathing room. Also, she doesn't ever have to tell anyone in the family what the true reasons behind the problems are/were.

Therapy would be the best thing. She needs to talk to someone about what she is feeling. Maybe there's a problem at school that she feels noone can help her with. She sees getting through school to be an end to that problem. Only then can she be happy - when the problem is gone.

Another you could do is give her a journal. This is hers alone and does not need to be shared with anyone unless she wants them to read it or show it to you.

Have her write down everything she is feeling

Answer 2

YTrain: Has no answer to this question.

LastManDancing: I was in a situation extremely similiar to this and had friends in the same situation but everyone's is different. For my friend i was just supportive but not to the point it made her sick. She went on to college and is alot happier now and changed for the better. Therapy helps a little at best from experience and the only person who can save her is her, at least that's how my friend and i got outta that jam. Just be supportive of her for the time being.

Answer 3

find out what she likes and then spend a lot of time doing it with her. this will serve to distract her from thinking about all the silly things that can upset teenagers- peer pressure, fear of being different, etc. It will also show that you love her and are willing to spend time with her, thereby raising her self esteem. Get her to focus on what she has and not to worry about what she doesn't have. She will get a job and have to sork it for the next 50 years or so- plenty of time for that stuff later.

Answer 4

Does she ever say she is unhappy? Do you think it is hormonal? Did something happen to her; rape, incest, etc.?

Unfortuantely, until she is honest with herself, she will not seek out help. You cannot "get a moralistic teenager to smile and be happy" if they are depressed. That statement concerns me. Do you always categorize your sister that way?

I suggest you become supportive instead of judgemental.

Answer 5

She's 17 years old. There's probably more going on in her life then you realize. Try to see everything from her point of view. Or maybe talk to one of her friends, and see if they know whats up. My main advice is act like a friend to her, and she'll open up about whats bugging her. You could try to get a therapist to come to her, instead of her coming to a therapist.
Hope this helped.

Answer 6

make suggestions not demands don't argue with her let her talk about what ever she wants to no matter how crazy it sounds be understanding and watch her very carefully go on the internet and look up ways to help her but be inconspictious or she could try to kill herself. depression is very real and very dangerous. but there is help out there for it. good luck