Not all the time of course. THey are excited new mothers and I am happy for the new things in their lives. I am also a big part of their kids lives: throw them showers, babysit, etc. But once in a while I need my old friends as friends, not moms, especially because I don't have any of my own. This goes with my inlaws too, who are obessed with my huband's sisters toddler.
2006-12-08 12:15:21 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Ugh! They will never be what they used to be before they had kids. I prefer to hang around people that don't have children
2006-12-08 12:26:35 · answer #1 · answered by kana121569 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry you having this issues with your good friends.You sound like a very giving person. With that said they are moms now so I don't think you will ever get them to go back to their child free selves..... you have to find your place in their life now or perhaps cultivate some new friendships with childless women. Your friends still love you and care about you but their baby will always at all times come first. I am sorry I have experienced this with my best friend .
You say they are new moms ... so right now they are very very excited and into the their babies... Later they may wish to have time and conversation away from the baby talk. I can't honestly say that it would EVER go over well for you to ask them talk about anything but their babies.... it will lead to hurt feeling and awkwardness.
What I might suggest is maybe plan a girls night out .. not clubbing just a nice dinner,drinks and chat. If you do it at home they may try to bring their babies so try to get them to agree to a dinner out.
I have you given thought to trying to find a few new friends ??? May be take a class in something that you have always been interested in .... If you make a new friend nice if not at least you had fun and learned something.Good luck to you.
2006-12-08 20:50:28 · answer #2 · answered by yeah , yeah whatever 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough situation for a friend who has no children and all of her friends so. I was one of the first of my friends to have a child, and I my friends have been wonderful about making a place in their lives for my daughter. I do love to share stories about her, and all that, but I have made an effort to schedule kid free get togethers (I usually cannot do this more than once every few months) and to talk about adult topics.
The thing is , even if it's hard to deal with. these people have changed. Their lives and priorities have changed. A good way to carve out some of their time is to schedule, WELL in advance, a "girls night out", or an "adult party" of some kind. Advertise it as a chance for your friends to take a break and have adults only time. Just give them lots of notice-maybe a month or more, even.
2006-12-08 20:20:33 · answer #3 · answered by Jennie Fabulous 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that you are feeling the pain. But no, you can't ask your friends and in-laws to "drop the kid talk." There are two reasons for this: It's a reality that the kids are the most important things in their lives, and they can't be expected to shift that because of you. I know that's painful, but it's true. The second reason not to ask them to stop talking about kids is that it will make you appear bitter, or sour. Instead of asking them to drop the talk, perhaps you can openly share your feelings by saying things like, "I'm happy for you, but I'm also feeling the sadness that comes with not having kids." Or, "I love hearing about your kids, but I miss our girl talk about other things, too." Good luck to you, and hang in there.
2006-12-08 20:40:31 · answer #4 · answered by meatpiemum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to understand that most people's lives revolve around their kids. Many new parents forget there's life out there beyond their kids. Grandparents can be just as bad.
You do have the right to gently change the subject, but it would be rude to ask them to "drop the kid talk." They may not even realize that's all they talk about.
2006-12-08 21:01:01 · answer #5 · answered by Farmboy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am afraid that saying that will just alienate them further. I understand your feelings and I am sorry. Dear Abby answered this question awhile back and said that it might be time to find some new friends that you better relate to. Remember the Girl Scout song, "Make New Friends But Keep The Old".
2006-12-08 20:25:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
myself being a mom with not alot of friends. i can understand what you are feeling as my bestest best friend doesnt have kids and well its hard for us to get together and i really do try sometimes its just not possible however if she didnt enjoy my daughter i wouldnt make her sit through a get together with her. not all kids are a pleasure and i know this and sometimes mine isnt either but she is still my best friend and if she treated me the way that you are wanting to treat your friends she wouldnt be my friend let alone my best friend. moms need people too not just there kids or family they need friends with and without similar conflicts.
2006-12-08 20:36:35 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't ask them directly to change the subject. I would suggest new topics in conversation maybe after a few times they'll get the hint.
2006-12-08 21:04:13 · answer #8 · answered by Reading and Answering Your Q' 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
WELL that has to be hard ,if you don;t think you can have children go see your doctor .I'M SURE THEIR NOT TRYING TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS their children are just so much apart of their life's right now. try and find some new friends that have no children I DON;T THINK THEY WOULD LIKE IT IF you ask them not to talk about their children.please see your doctor.also it could not be you your husband may need to see a doctor too.
2006-12-08 20:41:25 · answer #9 · answered by deedee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to realize that the babies are basically your friends' lives now. They don't have much else going on for them to talk about.
2006-12-08 22:34:34 · answer #10 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋