Honestly how many women out there would date a guy that has a child?

Question

Ok you are a woman, a fine specimin of the female gender worthy of attention love respect kindness and devotion.

You see a guy that you find attractive, you meet him and go out for coffee. You learn that he is in the midst of a horrible divorce. Involving a child that is the absolute center of his entire world.

This man is honest, has a decent job, but insists that his child comes first.

Honestly would you be willing to date a guy even though you know that you won't be the primary focus of his life?

This man puts his child first. Is there anyone out there that could handle not being the center of this mans world?

Answer 1

Honestly...NOPE, only because I tried it and it never worked..(for me)...I am single and childless so with that you get...availability ..on my terms of course..no baby sitting issues..no baby daddy drama...and no curfew..(having to be home at a certain time cuz of the kids) and I did not find it fare to me that I had to play second when he can first in my life..don't get me wrong..I think men that take care of there children are the most beautiful people in the world..(hat off 4 real) and there are some women who are willing to settle for being 2nd..but not me..I want my first to be his first..that's why when I meet guys my 1st..uno..# one question is ....DO U HAVE ANY KIDS..I've gotten slick with it though, I now ask..how many kids do you have??..and from that answer I will know if the convo should continue...there is some one for every one, I truly believe that..but a man with kids ..is not for me..
P.S. and it's not about being the center of anybody world..it's about excepting all that comes with a relationship that involves someone else's children..and the fact that she..the baby moma will ALWAYS be a part of your life as well as your girl friend / wife...with all things considered..there's two many people involved in one relationship...and I have yet 2 c 1 work yet...

Answer 2

I am sure there is,

However, it is NOT necessary to tell them your entire life sotry when you go out on a first date,

its tooo freaky,

second date the person first and get to know them, they don't need to know that your divorcing, and having a custody battle,
and especially don't say OH by the way you don't come first- its like saying out loud to them Eh i like you but your not important to me.


Most quality women will accept your child, and expect that your child comes first, they would be disapointed with anything less, however

its a bit freaky to here it on a first or second date.

Second thing is the divorce, people don't want ot get caught up in the nonsense so leave them out, talk to your friends about your ex-wife, not a new potential GF, this is a definate NO NO, she will run for the hills, never to be seen again,

and third, the custody thing,

NO woman in her right mind will take side with you over this, most of us side with the mom, she'd have to be a monster-

that being said it doesn't mean we don't think you should fight for your daughter but we don't like the idea of a man stilling our kids, and frankly thats the truth for most moms

So if your dating a lady and want things to go to a second date- DO NOT mention you custody battles ect...

All these things have to be saved until 6-7th dates, and DO NOT get into the details unless you have a good feeling about it,

So just be smart and don't bring up the Bad part of your life, cause they are your date and they want to get to know you, and not your Drama.

Good luck

meg

Answer 3

I can speak from a bit of experience. I actually was dating a guy that had a goddaughter who he considered his daughter. It is extremely difficult to deal with but you have to find a woman out there that understands its not a competition, it's a coalition. You guys should all work together as a team. Once I understood that, I was granted the honor of meeting daddy's little girl, who turned out to be incredibly precious and we absolutely adore each other. I know it doesn't seem like it'll happen but it will. Also, try dating single mothers- I'm sure you'll find that you two can relate. Good luck! :)

Answer 4

Probably the same amout of Men out there that would date a Woman with a Child...no difference...it's called being mature, accepting, responsible adult, also a child should come before the person they chose to date Man or Woman...and if they get envious of that then "Goodbye"!

Answer 5

I wouldn't be worried about the child at all.
But I would be very worried about the unfinished business of the ugly divorce. A body needs time to recover from those things, and I don't want to be caught up in the middle of someotherbody's recovery.

Answer 6

Yeah i would still date him because if i felt like i could spend the rest of my life with this guy it would be worth it. If i didnt see us getting serious i wouldnt try because eventually i would get close to the child and wouldnt want to leave them just because me and their father didnt talk anymore. In all fact kids should come first regardless so that's not a problem at all!

Answer 7

I would still date him, despite of his current situation. A man who puts his child first shows that he is active in his/her life, honest, and a decent individual. Not being the center of his world is ok by me, wiht me knowing that he is putting his love where it is most needed!
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Answer 8

Ugh...I've been through this, and i personally was very upset about not being his center of attention. Now that we are broken up and i don't see this man anymore, i really see where he was coming from. Children should always come first. So i would say yes.

Answer 9

Personally not me. And it's not the fact that you will not be the center of his attention, it's all the baggage that comes with him. (ex: ex-wife, or ex-girlfriend, baby's momma what ever). There will always be friction between who he is dating and the ex. And she will always find reasons why the new girlfriend will never be good enough to hang around with the kid, it is just a constant battle.

Answer 10

Yes, I have no problem dating men with kids.

But men in the middle of a divorce are dangerous.

I am basically like this:
Kids? Cool.
Divorced? Cool.
In the MIDDLE of divorce? Not so cool.