The last relationship I had was an extremely terrible relationship that made me feel really dirty and I can't wash myself clean of it. During that relationship I began to have a real fear and dread of sex and since then even just thinking about sex with anyone disgusts and scares me (that was the relationship where I lost my virginity). Since then I've moved on from that guy and I recently starting dating a new guy but I really don't want to have sex and I'm still quite wary of the dating scene and every guy I've been with after that bad relationship has just ended up being hurt by me because I hate relationships now. I don't want to hurt the new guy but I don't want to go out with him either. What should I do?
2006-12-08 11:50:34 · 7 answers · asked by oh_scheiss 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
All humans need some kind of company. Of course I got lonely. This feeling is in direct conflict with basic human nature which is to have company and a "mate". He told me to my face that he liked me and I got all flustered and couldn't say no. Is this a problem to go see a psychiatrist about? I don't want to have a big dramatic spazz about nothing.
2006-12-08 12:07:17 · update #1
Thanks to newbie for that answer... I appreciate the time you took to answer but I'm not religious. Thanks anyway though
2006-12-08 12:09:24 · update #2
It's probably best to break things off with the new guy ASAP - given your state, a relationship would probably only worsen things between you.
Relax, it's okay not to want a relationship for a while - and you don't need to be a virgin to refuse to have sex in a relationship. If you're in a good relationship, the guy will be willing to wait as you relax towards the idea.
You probably just need some time to yourself. Good luck!
2006-12-08 11:54:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you get into a relationship, have standard for yourself and don't worry about the sex. Don't have sex anymore because it makes you uncomfortable and you regret it. When you are dating someone, if that comes up tell them right off the bat, I don't have sex because it goes against what I believe, Stand up for yourself, this is your body and you should respect it and cherish with everything you have. Keep it for the right person and don't plan on having a right person for a long time. You deserve it and only you can stand up for yourself in that situation. If you don't want to date this guy you are seeing now, then don't. This is your life and you should not spend it in an unnecessary situation. Be strong and wise and you will be happy. Just enjoy your life for a while without any guys in it. Get over and deal with the past damaging relationship. You deserve happiness
2006-12-08 12:20:12 · answer #2 · answered by Maizy * 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to know God's grace. Nothing that happened is a surprise to God. He knew you would have this experience before you were even created. You do not need to feel "dirty" since Jesus paid the price for your sin. Talk to Him and ask Him to wash you clean. Accept his loving forgiveness and grace. Ask Him to heal you of your hurt so you can be whole again.
Until you feel whole and free of this, you should not be in a relationship. Give yourself time to heal.
God Bless,
Sue
2006-12-08 12:00:42 · answer #3 · answered by newbiegranny 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
without intercourse is there the rest you like approximately her? concentration on the the stuff that makes you the two satisfied that would not contain the mattress room. coach her which you're able to do without her actual touch. perhaps she will think of in case you may incredibly get via without her she might prefer to "replace YOUR techniques". If she would not you may assume she is cheating, or hire a DT to tail her and see the place she is going and what she does while she isn't around you. attempting to "press" her into it, is the main helpful thank you to not get any.
2016-12-13 05:28:47 · answer #4 · answered by glynis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait. Wait until you can trust your new guy enough, that is the best thing you can possibly do. And, if he wants to go further with your relationship than you're prepared to, talk to him about how uneasy it makes you. Honestly, waiting never hurt anyone.
2006-12-08 11:54:21 · answer #5 · answered by [11:11 pm] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm scratching my head wondering why you're doing it in the first place if you don't want to.... you sound really confused.
I'd get head straight before worrying about dating!
2006-12-08 11:54:10 · answer #6 · answered by Ree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him about your problem... then take it slow.. he will understand if he knows up front... and not expecting sex with you right off the start... so tell him... if he like you he will understand... now have fun.. and get over your problem..
2006-12-08 11:54:20 · answer #7 · answered by fred Flintstone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋