I have been dating a guy for almost a year now (Dec. 31 will be a yr.) I moved in with him and now I think it is the biggest mistake. I find myself playing mama and having to clean up after him. He is extremly jealous, even when I pay more attention to my puppy than him!!! I tried breaking up with him but he informed me that he might hurt himself. (He tried to cut his wrist when his last g/f broke up w/ him. But he did it wrong. I didn't know this b4 hand.) He has hinted to me that he would try to kill himself if I did. Frankly I'm tired of him and his childish and selfish ways, and I have to admit I am a little scared. If he was to do something to himself I would feel horrible. WHAT DO I DO!!!! HELP PLEASE!!!!!!
2006-12-08 11:39:46 · 21 answers · asked by Redd 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if he wants to kill himself over something so stupid then you should let him. he;s most likely using this as a ploy to keep you. why wouldn't he want you to stick around if you're always cleaning up after him. an ex of mine said the same thing, he even started burning himself with a cigarette in front of me, i was like, "dude, you're sad" and i haven't spoke to him in like 6 years. you're not responsible for him, the only person who is, is his momma
2006-12-08 11:43:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is trying 2 keep u there 4 as long as possible but are u going 2 be scared and stay with him all your life if you're not happy. I say tell someone about his threats to hurt himself get him professional help then leave him because you shouldn't have 2 be in a relationship u don't want to.
2006-12-08 11:44:01 · answer #2 · answered by Risky_Bizness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm.. I'd call up some kind of helpline and ask them what to do. They'll give you the right answer because they're used to dealing with people like this and they know how to handle them. If you don't take advice from some kind of counselling hotline or person you could make a wrong move that could result in something you would seriously regret. There is a chance that he could be saying that just to keep you with him but in situations like that you don't want to take that chance.
2006-12-08 11:44:41 · answer #3 · answered by oh_scheiss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you dont see yourself staying with him for the rest of your life just to be his babysitter, then get out now and quit wasting any more of your time. You cant be responsible for his actions. Hes tried it once before so he probably would try again. But if hes that unstable then he would try again sooner or later even if he had never met you.
You cant protect him from himself. So go on and lead your life in the way that makes you the happiest.
2006-12-08 11:48:07 · answer #4 · answered by ironica7 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nobody wants to hurt someone else, but what he's doing is emotional blackmail.
Try talking to someone in authority - his parents might be best - and explain to them that he's at risk of hurting himself.
You're not doing him any favors by staying in a loveless relationship out of fear, but since he's getting what he wants from you he may never see that.
I suppose one tactic might be to slowly become less helpful and kind, so that he no longer wants you around - but that way leads to you feeling dirty and bad about yourself, and could be catching. If I were you, I'd cut things off with him and call his bluff - after letting someone responsible know.
2006-12-08 11:45:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a nut job. Call your local abuse hotline and get advice from them. They have experience on how to escape these controllers.
This "piece of work" will try whatever works to keep you. If threatening to do himself harm will keep you around, then that what he'll do. When that doesn't work he'll threaten in some other way. Remember, what he does is not your fault. He's the head case.
2006-12-08 11:48:14 · answer #6 · answered by beckoningsubstitutes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out now! You're already miserable...so your choice is be miserable for life or move on. If he's threatening to do something to himself if you leave, surely that milked away any ounce of respect you have left for him.
So get out, and then take some time to figure out how you could have possibly allowed yourself to get hooked up with some loser like that, because you certainly don't want to do it all over again with someone else.
2006-12-08 11:44:25 · answer #7 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is abusing you! If he threatens to kill himself if you leave him he is abusive and you deserve better. Just go ahead and leave him. You cannot stay in an abusive relationship and you cannot be responsbile for his mental illness(es). Now is the time. Pack your stuff and get out while he is out of the house or have people there with you at all times until you move your stuff out in case he becomes violent. It will be hard but I know you can do it.
2006-12-08 11:44:45 · answer #8 · answered by Cynthia W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Phone a police, inform them of his metal disabilities.
Or.
2. Pack your bags and move to australia or the other side of the world.
Or.
3. Make HIM break up with you.
Or.
4. Just don't clean his house anymore and move out.
2006-12-08 11:44:11 · answer #9 · answered by Shortii. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From the moment he said he would hurt himself, you know he doesn't love you. This guy needs help, professional help. He cannot keep threatening himself to get what he wants in life. Break up with him immediately, but get him help.
2006-12-08 11:43:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋