no life.. help in any form would be good?

Question

alright here's the deal.. i pretty much have my parents to thank for not having a life. my younger brother and sister are the same way, except they actually have a lot of friends and i have about 3 (never had a g/f or been friends w/ a girl ever either). my parents are crazily overprotective (even though im 19), and i still dont have a license or anything. on very rare occasions can i have a friend over or visit a friend, and since i can't go anywhere on my own really, i am forced to sit in my room all day and sit by my computer like im doing now. this is all when i am at home, but since im in college this year, i feel the same way. i havent made any friends since ive been there and do nothing but sit in my dorm all day, sit by the computer, eat, and study. i also developed social anxiety from this early on and im not exactly sharp in the looks department either (5'5 and barely over 100 lbs), so that doesnt help much. if someone could help me that would be great. thanks in a

guys, thanks a lot for the responses.. this is kind of a follow-up here to what everyone said. w/ the g/f issue, im not gay, but just never have any interest in dating or anything. as for getting outdoors, i failed to mention the one thing to keep me from sitting around all day is running. ive been a xc runner since 7th grade and am currently running over 70 miles a week, which brings me to why im not running for my college's team. #1 my kidneys are breaking down so its not an option right now and #2 i didnt get along w/ the team to well, no surprise there. on looks, i exercise as i already said and im not one of these abercrombie tools, so im content w/ just looking normal. i have a permit too finally, but no license yet. i prolly forgot to mention a bunch of other stuff, but thanks again for all the responses. they're greatly appreciated...

thanks again everyone... just would like to clear one thing up really quick... i do not feel sorry for myself, just realizing that the way im living is unacceptable and maybe i should do something about it? but yea, im getting a job this summer, most likely at a local tech center since im an engineering major. roommate wise, yes i have one, he's just as introverted as me, except we NEVER talk and dont get along well. as for running, i ran xc in high school of course and ran for a team that currently has a record of 0-9. when i was there, i tried my best to help people. no one on the team has the slightest bit of motivation and they criticized me for running too much, especially the coaches who have no clue about distance running. so i basically had to deal with skipping practice everyday to run on my own so my coach wasnt screaming in my face, and the team was happy with me not being there, so go figure. but maybe ill find a club to join or something...

Answer 1

Just start going out.

Answer 2

Do not let your college days pass you by while you sit in a dorm room! There are so many chances in college to grow.

First off I would suggest a job. Why? because as you gain money to fund other adventures, you also gain relationships with others. You're forced to interact with others or lose your job (get a job in customer service). Practice makes perfect.

Find a club or something to join at school. Anything that interests you!

It worries me that you say you didn't get along with the team as if you don't get along with anyone. If you don't have much interaction perhaps you need to read up on the art of conversation or social interaction (trust me MANY people are lacking in these areas and can benefit from reading). I would analyze why I have trouble with the team or otehr groups to see if there is a common theme and to pinpoint areas I need to correct.

Start off small. Look ahead and the week and make goals for yourself. Like tomorrow I will talk to one person I haven't before. This week I will attend one new function.

Do you have a roommate? If not try to get a room with someone. It's hard sharing a dorm, but you'll most likely meet lots of new people and have the opportunity to join in on things.

Also keep yourself open to new ideas. Give things a try. Even if you think you might not like it, try it to see. Talk to people you normally wouldn't....but be careful never to judge these people :)

Answer 3

you are truly blessed if you're running that much. Maybe you can be a shoe tester for a local shoe store or maybe even one of the big boys like addidas, or nike. Maybe you can start your own running club. I'm sure there are lots of beginning runners out there that don't know how to run correctly or use the wrong motivation to run. You are an expert at this. I know because I'm an extreme athlete myself and i love to run. I use running to meet girls all the time and it's cool. I love to meet new people and it makes it very easy when i'm talking about something I'm an expert at. Focus on your computer skills also. It' always going to be around and it's a great career choice. What about weight lifting??? what about triathalons??? There's tons of stuff you can be doing. What about the library?? What about your local bookstores or coffee shops??? There are people everywhere?????

Answer 4

Ok buddy lets get you out there and meeting some pretty ladys, okay we will start with you. So you don't feel happy with yourself, well you'd be surprised at what a little change can do not for others but for you. I wasn't happy with the shape of my eyebrows so i had my sister help me change them and wala I don't look that different but i am so much happier and that has helped me in the boy department.#2 is independence start a drivers ed course so you can get out more. and if you don't feel comfortable outside in public then go with a friend and pretend to be confident it will make you feel confident. Tell your parents how you feel (actually do this) and make them understand . Just fake it fake confidence and popularity just don't overdo it believe me follow my steps and you should be a smooth-talking-machine
Best of luck :)

Answer 5

OK the answer is to start your life over. Here are the answers to each sitch:

GF THING : Join a singles dating program. Hey ya never know who's out there!

LISCENSE: Practice on some NASCAR game in an arcade or something. You'll never get it it if you never get better. And you'll never get better if you never practice.

ON COMPUTER THING: Go outside some more. PLay some football or soccer with some friends. Remember that stupid commercial : VERB it's what you do! Lol

FRIEND ISSUE: Get outside more and start joining clubs you like. If you do this you might find ppl who share the same interests you do. You might end up great friends.

LOOKS ISSUE: Meet my friend, the AB ROLLER! Lol jk. Like I said, eat healthy and stay outside alot and you will be perfectly fine!

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

Ok, you are an adult now. You could start by figuring out what sort of things interest you, and then checking around on campus for groups that have similar interests. Once you start meeting people with common interests, the rest will become easier. Good luck and don't give up.

Answer 7

Im sorry to hear about your overprotective parents.. and because of them they have scarred and even hurt you from not letting you experience the social scene! and your feeling the effects of it now in college on your own!

ok well no matter what you try to do your going to have to have a little guts to make the first step... i would suggest maybe find an organization at your school that fits who you are...like if you like politics..look for a democrat or republic group! or if you like animation look for an animation group etc... i kno at my college there are over 200 organizations to choose from and join for free!! then it will get you active in your college and introduce you to new ppl! and you wont even have to worry that much if they'll like you..because you obviously already have SOMETHING in common if your in the same organization! but just go online to your college website and find the list of organizations and see where you need to go to join etc... im sure youll have to wait til next semester but you can get a head start of choosing what you want now!! Hope everything goes well and i wish you the best of luck!!!

congrats on running 70+ a week!! thas awesome! and on the g/f thing..dont push it too much..ya ya its cool to go out with girls and b in a relationship in college and such but you cant push nething... especially a relationship. you seemed to be pretty layed back and thas a good thing... you first got to get out and be social before you can even think about talkn ta ne girls...once you becom more social and talk to more ppl you will eventually learn how to normally talk to girls etc...

and your drivers license... just ask your best frend if he can let ya drive around for a bit then one day jus ask him to take you to take your test..

goodluck!

Answer 8

you seem to know all the bad things that are holding you back - so you already have conquered the problem -- the rest is up to you -- how badly do you want your life to change -- you know the obstacles - so work with the alternatives - stop feeling sorry for yourself - you are one step ahead of most people - you realize the problem - so get out there and correct the problem - just turn around everything you realize is bad - read what you wrote - and work in the opposite direction - what you feel is bad about yourself in looks is not the problem - the problem is the elements around you - change them. i wish you success and good luck in achieving - you can do it!

Answer 9

sorry dear you were never taught social skills by your parents, so my advise is to put your self in public places, by volunteering , say at the library, local student book store so you are in a position to observe, you have good common sense so find social skills you like and practise them, so when you actually do meet real people you will be able to inter act,and not trip all over your self.This is not an uncommon thing, as parents in order to protect their children have made them socially inept. not your fault, and totally learn able. so go do it