My best friend's mom said that Stacy(my best friend) cant get married unless her fiancee became christian, then her fiancee turns around and said that he wont marry her unless she becomes an Atheist, what do you think about that?
2006-12-08 11:10:39 · 21 answers · asked by badferret 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Is Stacy over 18? Then, I think Stacy's mom needs to get her nose out of their business. If they can manage this difference and agree on how the kids, if any, will be raised, then that is their business and their business only. End of discussion.
2006-12-08 11:24:06 · answer #1 · answered by dedum 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all, Mom doesn't have to live with the relationship like Stacy does, so she should offer her daughter advice, but step back and let her daughter live her own life.
Second of all, marriage is (or SHOULD be) F-O-R-E-V-E-R. If two people cannot come to terms with each other's religion before marriage, they should not get married. Religion becomes a very big issue in marriage simply because it affects so many parts of life: What do we do on Sunday mornings: sleep in or get up and go to church? How do we spend our money: can I tithe or are you going to get that new ____ that you want? How are we going to raise our children: do we teach them life lessons based on Christianity or do we teach them life lessons based on something else? and so on...
Third, you can't MAKE someone become a Christian, so even if Fiancee just turns around and "becomes a Christian," was it real? Does it mean any thing to him?
Basically, these two need to sit down (WITHOUT MOM) and seriously evaluate their relationship. If they cannot come to an agreement on how they will handle their religious views, then they should not get married until they can. And that means they might not get married ever.
My best friend's parents are two different religions (Lutheran and Catholic) and they've been very happily married for almost 30 years. My husband was raised in East Germany (atheist), but since moving to America, has moved closer to believing in God. I am saved. We believe that religion is a belief just like politics, and as long as we can agree to disagree (though it hurts me deeply to think of spending forever without him!) while respect each other's beliefs, we could get married and have a long, loving relationship. Basically, it is a decision that THEY should make through open and honest communication.
2006-12-08 19:50:31 · answer #2 · answered by xgravity23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is Stacy's Mom interferring? If she is old enough to get married, then she should be old enough to make her own decision's regarding the Religious Belief's, but sound's to me like Stacy and her future intended are both immature, as they cannot agree on something as trivial as this, they need to stick with their own Religion if that's what they want it happens all the time in marriages, and NO he should not have the right to tell her to change, what about him... also sounds like he's using the Religion issue to back out! Stay out of it or you may lose a friend just tell them Good Luck, they need it!
2006-12-08 20:08:39 · answer #3 · answered by MiMi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, Stacy, should make sure she wants to be with this man enough to change to Atheist. Secondly, when a man and a woman gets married, it becomes, God, Husband, Wife, Kids, then parents! The man & woman leave their parents & become one! In other words, mom has nothing to do with this, because if Stacy marry's him they come first then the Parents!
2006-12-08 19:50:56 · answer #4 · answered by tawannajones2217@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If her fiancee won't marry her without conditions then they shouldn't marry. No person should make demands on another such as that. He knew she was a christian before they were engaged so why make her change now? That is not fair of him. It is also not fair of her mother to do that either. If her mother was okay with them dating their should not be an issue of the getting married and if her mother did care that they were dating and they want to get married anyway then it shouldn't matter what her mom says. Her mom should love her no matter what her choice.
2006-12-08 19:37:30 · answer #5 · answered by small_town_gal_05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This argument was between the mother and the fiancee. The fact that the fiancee brought Stacy into it as a weapon and declared what she had to do should make Stacy reconsider how wisely she chose her fiancee.
2006-12-08 19:31:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it kind of sounds he said that out of shock value or to hurt the mother. But if that is not the case then there is something wrong with that marraige. When you get married you need to know that you are accepting the other person for who they are and for everything they are, you cant pick and choose what you want, you get 100%.
Im not catholic and I am amrrying a catholic girl, and both of use realize that we both have different beliefs, and have worked together to understand and respect them.
2006-12-08 19:26:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG! It sounds to me like they are using Stacy as a weapon. I think it's awful and I also think it's a darn good thing that you are her friend. Stick close. She's going to need you. You know, you could also tell her to tell both of them that she is going to convert to some "other" religion and send them both off in a huff. Encourage her to stand up to both of them now or this is what the rest of her life will be like. YIKES!
2006-12-14 22:08:51 · answer #8 · answered by Elle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well....Mom is not marrying this guy. It should be up to the values of her daughter. Mom and future son-in-law need to set there religious views aside. Besides...if MOM is a true Christian, you would think that she would not judge him in that way.
2006-12-16 03:48:55 · answer #9 · answered by basura5150 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the mom should mind her own business; this is between the couple.
And I think the bride should find another groom. If he loves her enough to marry her, then he should love her just the way she is. If he expects her to change in order to be good enough to marry, then he isn't the guy for her.
2006-12-08 22:45:56 · answer #10 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋